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Hidden Gems: Rob Van Dam
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Old 01 Nov 2003, 02:18 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Hidden Gems: Rob Van Dam

Time once again for SLASHHH's "Hidden Gems." This week, I'll be lookin' at "Mr.Monday Night," himself, The Thumb Pointin', Spot' Lovin', HHH Jobbin', ECW Marks Are Still Hopin', His Ass Will Have A Run With The Title, R-V-D! Without further adue, my unbiased look at the jobber of the WWE, RVD!!!!

I thank everyone for the positive feedback with my previous column on Scott Steiner, although I rushed it as the thought popped into my head, and ten minutes later,so did the post. I'll try to vindicate myself with this column on R-V-D.

It's Hard To Know Where You're Goin', If You Don't Know Where You've Been........

From Battle Creek, Michigan, Rob Szatkowski turned pro in 1991. Trained by The Original Sheik, Rob was well versed in Martial Arts and kick-boxing. Rob would soon join the USWA and have his first match with "thee most homocidal, suicidal, genoicdal maniac " in Sabu. In late '92, RVD made his TV debut in WCW as Robbie V, much like Sabu and Mr.JL, he went nowhere fast. He left WCW in '93 and took a tour of Japan, as well as havin' stints in horrible B-Rated movies. In AJPW, this is where Rob was able to mesh his love for kick-boxin' and aerial assualt with a basic mat and grapplin' style. This is also where Rob learnt to become a stiff bitch.

Rob Van Dam debuted in Extreme Championship Wrestling on January 5, 1996 at the ECW Arena. His first match was with Axl Rose....I mean Rotten and its safe to say, Rob was a hit with the crowd already. I did not become a fan until a year later when ECW invaded the WWF for the first time, *bows head in shame*. Nonetheless, what broke RVD in ECW was his first trilogy of matches with Sabu, which culminated in the awesome Stretcher Match. With those matches, they gained the respect of each other, and formed a tag-team. Their most notable feud was with The Elminators (Damn, I should do a column on those guys fo sho.)

This is where the WWF gets involved. Rob had been contemplatin' jumpin' to WCW, so for all you ECW marks, he was never ECW 4 Life, but RVD 4 Life, get that part straight and don't give me that ECW, RVD, ECW, RVD bullshit. We all know his first match was with Jeff Hardy, in the battle of the Jobber/Druggie Title. RVD won and supposedly catapulted Jeff into a myriad of cocaine abuse. LMFAO, Jobbers.

In all actuality, the ECW locker room was pissed at Rob, who left the WWF because ONCE AGAIN, he was not satisfied with his role. Are we seein' a patern here? Heyman, bein' the genious he is, turned this real-life heat, into a work/shoot. RVD, employin' the services of The Phonz, would be embroiled in a classic feud with Tommy Dreamer. Van Dam would later stay with the company until its demise. And then soon become part of the WCW/ECW Invasion in the WWE and become a singles-competitor with very much success in the WWE.

To take a line from the King Of Harts (RIP), "Enough's Enough And It's Time For A Change"

Present Day, RVD is the WWE Intercontinental Champion. One of the highest honours a man can have in this company. But for as long as RVD has been with the WWE, there has been a bitter debate between marks and smarks alike. Is RVD worthy enough to become WWE World Champion? Is RVD A Spot Lovin' Jobber who has minimal skills? Is RVD just like Jericho and Storm and Booker, Mid-Carders For Life? Yep, LMAO.

The fact of the matter is, Rob Van Dam does not have what it takes to become a successful World Champion. In most instances, it is with WHO Rob works with that makes or breaks his program. We have heard many times, why is RVD feudin' with *Insert jobber*, well the fact of the matter is, because Rob is a jobber too.

Take for instance Chris Jericho, at the height of the Wrestlemania XIX run, with just weeks away from the event, he was thrown into a pointless feud with Test and Stacey (Who Should Be Thrown To Smackdown With All The Other Sluts.) Jericho, saved face though, turned the program into a watchable one, and still made the Jericho/Michaels program the sleeper feud of Wrestlemania XIX.

Rob, simply, has never been able to do this. If you don't believe me, I have someone who will prove my point. Paul E. Dangerously! Is it ever a wonder why Rob was NEVER ECW WORLD CHAMPION? Ask yourselves, why was RVD never ECW World Champion? Well, to answer that question, we must look at ECW and Paul Heyman. The simple fact is, Paul knew RVD was a draw WITHOUT the belt. Givin' the ECW Championship to RVD would have only been a signification of RVD's status, and would not allow another wrestler an oppertunity to elevate themselves . Heyman ,was smart, RVD didn't need the Word Title to draw, so he put it on Dreamer or Raven, and gave them drawin' power. That is why Heyman was a genious. He could have two draws instead of one if he made sure to keep the belt off of Rob.

But why was Rob a draw for ECW in the first place. Rob was able to as once stated mesh his grapplin' style from AJPW with his Martial Arts/Kickboxin' ability and his high-flyin' swagger. Couple that with his egotistical persona, his flamboyant charsima and a hella cool manager in Bill Alphonso, RVD was poised atop the wrestling world. But Make NO MISTAKE, Heyman booked in such a way that he protected Rob, for in a company that implores risk-takin', RVD was at the top of the class. Ask Jerry Lynn, who has been on the recievin' end on some of Van Dam's less careful moves.

You see ECW needed those wrestlers and their death defyin' moves to survive. ECW based itself off of Extreme, and that is why every time RVD pulled off a Van-Terminator, the fans went crazy chantin' "ECW, ECW, ECW!" The WWF on the other hand, does not need that to survive, and that is why Rob has had such a problem. The biggest moan I hear from you sheep, "If only the WWE would let Rob do what he did in ECW, let him apply all his moves, give him freedom." I hate to burst your bubble, but what RVD does now in WWE, he did in ECW. Only it was fresh, and once again Heyman was a fuckin mastermind. He could hide their weaknesses but really show their strengths. That is why ECW didn't look like a spot-fest when really all their high points were giant spots. I don't mean to generalize, I've watched Jerry Lynn and RVD, I've watched all the ECW tapes, from matches with Tazz and Sabu, to The Franchise, to The Sandman and Raven, to Funk and Cactus.

The fact is, Rob has always been a bitch when it comes to pushes, when he didn't like what WCW was doin' for him, he bolted, when he didn't like what ECW was doin' for him, he wanted out, when he didn't like what the WWE was doin' for him, he cried, pissed and moaned. The fact is HHH HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH RVD. You people who cry about that are ignorant sheep. You know shit all and just read Boone and take his news as the Gospel accordin' to John. It's RVD who holds back RVD, and that is the truth.

HHH was in the dog-house, HHH was in Hog-Pen matches, HHH was bein' jobbed, HHH fought his way out of WCW, HHH became the most fuckin' hated heel since Andre The Giant. But no one ever cried, someone is holdin' HHH back, I didn't hear, Michales left his friend high and dry. No I didn't hear that, all I heard was HHH is this and that, HHH holds him back and him. The truth is you people need an excuse as to why RVD is a piece of garbage, spot lovin, jobbin' bitch.

Now, with every pile of shit, there is a glimour of hope, there is something that can be seen that might give light to something nice and beautiful. I looked hard, but I found one with Rob.

Fact is, not much is holdin' RVD back from attainin' the next level of super-stardom. In fact, he is one feud away from bein' OVER. As I stated with Steiner, the WWE pushed Rob in all the wrong areas. ECW marks didn't just like Rob because he could do a Split-Legged Moonsault. They liked him because when Sabu offered him his hand, Rob didn't take it, they liked that arrogant asshole. Turn Rob heel, hell even bring back The Phonz if you must. You can hide a wrestler's weakness if you turn him heel. Thus, Rob's persona will shift from his wrestling ability to his character, or lack thereof. Thus, Rob won't have to worry if the person he is workin' with can get him over, he will be in that situation. Now, you don't need Jericho or Christain to initiate heat between the two, Rob can do that himself, and become over with the fans. I've really just given up now and could care less about ways to better RVD. He knows what he has to do, whether he will cry and bitch until his ass gets thrown to Trashville with all the other has-beens, or he decides to work to become a big name player in the coming years like Orton and Jericho is up to him.

Feedback is welcomed, next week I will cover RAW as a whole, and what could be done to better the show, includin' the Matt Hardy situation.

Side Note: Thanks for readin' this if you did, and Mods, will you please sticky this for a week or two. Thank you.....
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Old 01 Nov 2003, 03:57 PM   #2 (permalink)
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As everyone know I am a big RVD fan,but I have to agree with the fact they need to make him heel.
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Old 01 Nov 2003, 04:08 PM   #3 (permalink)
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So much for an "unbiased" opinion! lol Not bad, though.

You called Jericho a mid-carder for life, but then said he's a big-time player. IMO, he's the latter, but could be THE player in a few months ro so. Y2J is the best on RAW right now, even with HHH returning.

As for RVD, well, "whatever..." I-C Title, okay, but nowhere near ready for the big belt. Gotta give it time, Rob.
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Old 01 Nov 2003, 04:28 PM   #4 (permalink)
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*Applause; applause* Even though I'm a RVD mark I gotta agree with ya' on everything...
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Old 01 Nov 2003, 04:46 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Quote:
You called Jericho a mid-carder for life, but then said he's a big-time player. IMO, he's the latter, but could be THE player in a few months ro so. Y2J is the best on RAW right now, even with HHH returning.
Everyone from WCW is a mid-carder, Jericho was from WCW. I said Jericho was workin' on becomin' a big-time player, and RVD should do the same....
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Old 01 Nov 2003, 05:15 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Excellent Column Man, I am a Huge RVD Fan too and I agree that RVD isn't fit to hold the Big Title, It just won't happen. I have to give to Heyman to for being such a wise man and using RVD Draw Ability.
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Old 02 Nov 2003, 09:52 AM   #7 (permalink)
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All good points. Of course you touched on many, but I think there are only two core roadblocks between RVD and main event success in the WWE. The first is obviously his size. At 6', 235 lbs RVD needs more ground moves to be able to sell damage to a guy the size of HHH and/or Goldberg (of course Goldberg could never bring himself to sell being shot by a 235 pounder...but that's another story). I love RVD, and I think I say that at least once a post...but damn, 420. Feel free to mix in a body slam or a suplex.

Many of his springboard moves off the top rope aren't very impactful, most notably that martial arts kick. The split legged moonsault, the 5 star...those are impactful because you can see his entire frame coming down on his opponent, and that sells. However, tapping HHH w/ that one kick in the face isn't believable.

The second core roadblock is his position as a face. With that cocky attitude and the "whatever" vibe he's got going on, he would be best positioned as a heel. Bring back Fonzie?? I dunno. Fonzie always kinda reminded me of that crackhead that plays the strip poker bar-top video game in every dive bar there is. You know who I'm talking about. Fonzie was great, but I don't see Vince allowing him in the WWE.

There's also a third major roadblock between RVD and true main event status in the WWE...his mouth. Battle Creek must be some sort of ghetto, because RVD comes off as way ghetto in every interview he gives. "They don't push me." "HHH doesn't like me." "So what if I crushed his throat and almost killed him in the Elimination Chamber." Etc. Etc. Again I point to his fictional wedding toast for HHH and those two gigantic silicone knockers that used to be a really hot chick named Stephanie..."I hate you both. You smell. Please fire me."

Honestly, if RVD goes to TNA, it'll give me a reason to get their PPV's. Who knows, maybe he could go back to the one gimmick that really worked for him...

Late.
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Old 02 Nov 2003, 06:05 PM   #8 (permalink)
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First off great post Slashhh weather you agree or disagree this threed makes you think. Second, yes you do need to do one of these on my favorite Tag Team of all times Perry Saturn and John Kronus Boston's own Eliminators.

As for Van Dam in many ways I do agree with what you say. Rob Van Dam was one of my favorite mid 90's wrestlers. I mean i loved the fact that not that many people knew who he was and that he was extrem as well as hardcore and not afraid to take a bump in any way shap or form. I think like you already said that Rob Van Dam is only to be a heel. That was half of the reason that i liked him, because he was an asshole heel who smoked pot (who better to relate to lol). The fact that Rob could do extrem things while Bill Alfonso was running around with that damn whistle holding chairs to people face's while Rob kicked them was enough to make me tune in at 1:00 am in the morning on telamundo. You throw in the fact that he was changing up his moves and always incorparating foreign objects in his arsonal. All this made people chant EC'Dub the fact that he was death-defeying and would go to any boundry to fascinate the fans was enough to captivate any ecw mark. When the ECW marks go on about how Van Dam was ECW they are true becuase Rob Van Dam never wrestled like he did in ECW outside of that place he never put his heart and sole into wrestling quite like he did in ECW. Rob sucks in the WWE he isn't a WWE wrestler he never was and never could be. He is an ECW wrestler and that is where he shines. Thats why the whole buying of ECW wasn't good for the wrestler who weren't already in the WWE. Its two completly different types of wrestling all togther. And from that you will have two completly different types of fans. There can be no actual agreement because there is no diffenate answer. One group is gonna look at it a completly different way then the other side. I myself don't know were I stand, I am complety comfused, because Van Dam should have never been in the WWE in my opinion. But now that he is it has blown up in his face. No Rob should never be a world champion now, his act looks so steel its not even fun to watch. He does the same moves over and over and when he does certain ones he oversells them. He has no creative chrecter and for a lack of better words he's fucking boring. You know whats gonna happen in his match's and he is a terriable actor...... If he doesn't leave the WWE soon his career will be over, I'll say it again he doesn't belong there........Weather Rob was gonna be the world champ of ECW, I gotta say yes he was gonna be champ, most likly by beating Rhyno. People forget Haymen wasn't afraid to put an underated mid-carder as world champ as we saw with Micky Whipwreck, after all Tazz and Shane both were no longer at ECW Rob and Subu were always number 3 and 4 Mike Awsome was world champ because of he succes in Japan and the same with Masoto Tanaka so I think yes Van Dam would have been the next champion. He can't survive as a face in todays game or yesterdays for that matter, he isn't suppose to speak in a mic that was what Bill Alfonso was for, Van with WWE bad Van Dam in the Indy's good that sums it up for the most part.

Slashhh my man nice threed keep em coming......
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Old 02 Nov 2003, 06:48 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Thanks Dre, Fuckin' Awesome Post, That hit The Nail Right On the Head, Didn't Really Think Of It Like That as Far AS ECW And Rob Was Concerned....

I appreciate it comin' from such a revered legend as yourself, LOL, Can I Kiss Ass Or What....No seriously, thanks
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Old 02 Nov 2003, 07:27 PM   #10 (permalink)
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I got ya Slashhh,consider it stickied,great post.
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Old 02 Nov 2003, 08:09 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Thanks One, I appreciate it homie....
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Old 03 Nov 2003, 01:48 PM   #12 (permalink)
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WCW jobbers are only the ones not smart or good enough to leave that second rate hack fed. That is why Y2J is not a WCW peice of trash. Same for Trips.

And RVD is overated leftovers. He's had many many opportunities, and I've been putting him down for 2 years now. The flipity faggot is doomed.
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Old 03 Nov 2003, 02:57 PM   #13 (permalink)
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RVD is one of the few remaining ECW guys who are doing anything but Heat matches.....it must be frustrating to the creative team to know that someone with that much fan drawing power has become what RVD is.....a talented, over wrestler who is so worried about himself that he forgets about what's best for the company....the RVD4life line fits him to a t, SLASHHH.....well thought out thread.....

side note: lol at you finding a way to push HHH in an RVD thread.....good stuff....
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Old 03 Nov 2003, 05:20 PM   #14 (permalink)
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I'm an RVD fan and I do agree with everything you said Slash but one comment pissed me off...

Quote:
Originally posted by SLASHHH
Stacey (Who Should Be Thrown To Smackdown With All The Other Sluts.)

Stacy is fine on Raw as a valet for Test and she is no slut

As long as I'm around Slash you do not insult my Stacy
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Old 04 Nov 2003, 04:47 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jason
I'm an RVD fan and I do agree with everything you said Slash but one comment pissed me off...




Stacy is fine on Raw as a valet for Test and she is no slut

As long as I'm around Slash you do not insult my Stacy
your stacy?

she's mine. i challenge you.
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