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Open letter to Vikes Fan...
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Old 17 Oct 2005, 02:11 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Open letter to Vikes Fan...

I would like to take a moment and offer a heartfelt apology to Minnesota Vikings Fans. I’m a Randy Moss guy…even after Notre Dame kicked him out, I knew he was special and that I’d see him in the NFL. That first year he was in Minnesota on that straight up juggernaut offense with Randall, Chris, Jake, Robert and himself, I was caught off guard when I’d heard that the piddly Falcons with their workhorse Jamal Anderson (50 carries for 98 yards per game Jamal Anderson for those who don’t recall) beat them in the NFC Championship Game.

I figured while Minnesota’s offense was damn good before Moss, they’d blow up with him, and to an extent, they did. I remember when Moss went to Dallas for Thanksgiving. 3 catches for 183 yards and 3 TDs or something like that. No offense to Reb and STICK, but if the field had been longer, he could’ve gotten 1,000 yards in that game alone…he did not get tackled once.

When Minnesota traded Moss, I went into hater mode. Maybe it was a little too much, but I sincerely believed that Daunte Culpepper was not half the QB Randy made him look like. Well, I also believed that their defense was still a mess (just like it was when they lost to Atlanta in the 1998 NFC Championship), what little success their other receivers’ had had to that point was solely a result of every NFL Defensive Back and Defensive Coordinator being completely petrified of Randy and that their running game was suspect at best.

Oh yeah, I also believed then (as I do now) that in this specific case, looks are certainly not deceiving and Mike Tice is indeed a complete and utter moron. Someone tell him to take that ridiculous pencil out from behind his ear. Not only does that look mind-bogglingly stupid next to his Gibraltar-sized cranium, but he’s not fooling anyone. Just like when Patrick Ewing wore fake glasses during the NBA Strike to appear somewhat intelligent, this sad attempt at looking smarter has backfired. I mean, who here doesn't expect him to begin each sentence he speaks with, "duhhhhyaaaaaaaaaaa...okay, uhhhhhh."??

But to the point, I apologize to all Vikings Fans. I knew Daunte’s production would take a nosedive into the crapper like a Lawn Dart dropped out of a plane at 1,000 feet, but maybe I wanted it a little too hard. After all, the human mind is probably the most un-understood organ we humans have. Of course it controls our functions and motor responses, but there are documented cases of ESP, telekinesis and other “supernatural” abilities that some peoples’ enhanced brain activity can accomplish.

Am I saying that I caused the Vikings’ struggles by wishing them to be so?? Absolutely not, but because they’ve fallen so brutally far, I feel bad. I mean the team just sucks. I believe their starting RB is Mewelde Moore. That right there is cause for alarm. If I was a passenger on the Titanic and heard that Moore was the Captain or even the fucking Bosun’s Mate, I’d be running for the lifeboats.

But that’s not all. Minnesota ponied up this off season on D. All the money they would’ve given Randy Moss (well, they’re still paying him anyway, but we’re talking figuratively here) they used to buy some defense and then some. NFL Progs across the fruited plain were hailing Minnesota’s defensive spending spree and drafting of wideout Troy Williamson as the beginning of their best campaign yet. Excuse me for a moment, but that just keeps getting funnier every time I hear it and I haven’t heard it since August, so it’s even funnier than it normally would be and I have to wipe the tears of laughter from my eyes.

Well before I go on for days and days, being a Browns fan, I know what it’s like to deal with frustrating loss after frustrating loss, as well as off the field SNAFUs and faux pas and it sucks. I wanted to apologize to Vikings fans for being rather dick-ish about my preseason ranting on Culpepper and I also wanted to officially welcome Vikings Fans to the crapper.

Here’s to Matt Leinart buying #11 off Daunte the day after next year’s draft…if you follow what I’m saying.

Late.
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Old 17 Oct 2005, 02:30 PM   #2 (permalink)
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No way. Matt Leinart and that #1 pick is coming to New Orleans.


BTW- No need to apoligize for wishing the Viqueens into crapdom......I'd have to ask you to apologize if you rooted for them
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Old 17 Oct 2005, 04:11 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wolf
No way. Matt Leinart and that #1 pick is coming to New Orleans.


BTW- No need to apoligize for wishing the Viqueens into crapdom......I'd have to ask you to apologize if you rooted for them
YEAH...WELL...IF THE FORDS SMARTEN UP, MY LIONS WILL GET MARCUS VICK!

Ok probably not.
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Old 17 Oct 2005, 07:31 PM   #4 (permalink)
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YEAH...WELL...IF THE FORDS SMARTEN UP, MY LIONS WILL GET MARCUS VICK!

Ok probably not.
Or possibly Ryan Leaf has a relative in college...
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Old 17 Oct 2005, 08:16 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by R.T.T 2K5
Or possibly Ryan Leaf has a relative in college...
That would be the more likely pick the Lions would take if they had a choice.
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Old 18 Oct 2005, 01:44 PM   #6 (permalink)
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So late last night I’m flipping through the channels. I pass through NFL Network and see they’ve got a Mike Tice press conference going. I figured that right about now a Q & A with Mike Tice is probably one of the funniest things you can have on TV so I stuck with it. Apparently, the Vikes had brought in a “counselor” of sorts for the players to as Tice put it: “…go to with any…problems they might have. You know, someone’s mom dies or something like that…” …or…you know…someone gets caught in a sex scandal floating in the middle of Lake Minnetonka, or something like that…

Watching last night I felt bad for the guy, honestly. He’s trying to win football games, he’s losing in fantastic fashion, and for some reason his players thought their season was going along well enough to throw a floating sex party. I mean honestly, what the hell do The Vikes have to party about?? Their season is in the crapper and it’s only week 5. Of course, they are in the NFC North and a 7-9 team may well win that division, but there’s no way in hell the friggin’ Vikes can muster 6 more Ws this year…

Truth be told, I don’t know why Tice doesn’t take a beer to the podium with him for his press conferences. I mean come on, when Ziggy finally gets tired of the antics, shenanigans, chaos and losing, Tice’s ass is going to be the first one up against the wall…so why not booze openly?? You know??

**Tice in a slurred voice** “Allright you guys…fire away!!”

“Uhhh, Mike I see you’re an Amstel guy. Any particular reason you’re boozing on the job today??”

“You got any reason why I shouldn’t?? They haven’t fired me yet…” **takes a pull off the longneck and holds it up in a false toast** “BULLETPROOOOOOOOOOOOF!!!”



Yeah, I loves me a good train wreck…especially when it’s not my team for once.

Late.
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Old 18 Oct 2005, 02:12 PM   #7 (permalink)
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I finally dropped Daunte on my fantasy team....picked up Palmer....

Wooooooo *sigh*
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Old 18 Oct 2005, 03:28 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Freebird
I finally dropped Daunte on my fantasy team....picked up Palmer....

Wooooooo *sigh*
It took you this long to pick up Palmer?
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Originally Posted by The Glue totally owning and exposing EXO

I did. Remember?? You're just following me around acting like a little bitch posting after every post I put down because...well, because hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

You're probably sitting there wishing you had a pic of my kids so you could Photoshop them onto something because that's all you can really do.

Sure...you can take a run at numbfuck SC or plainjane Josh or complete moron Alex or can't get out of his own way Boston...but I don't agree with you about Barry and it's "Rueben Droughns this" "weed that" "your kids this" "Look at me and my halo over my head that."

Whatever. First of all, you don't have any depth of knowledge about any of that stuff, so you're just talking out of your ass. Secondly, you wouldn't be saying any of that shit if Barry Bonds wasn't some roided up freak who you're in love with.

It's fucking gay. I have better things to do than deal with someone who can't even debate a point, rather changes the subject again and again to deflect the fact that he's dead wrong. It's what dumbass 6th graders do...


I honestly don't give a fuck about your opinion. Like I told Alex, they're just words on a screen. I can't believe you don't get that concept...but okay.

I mean...you're the kind of guy that thinks if you yell louder than the other person, you will win a debate. And that's not new either...I've pretty much thought that about you from day one...

I didn't want to put it that way, but since you want to press on...

Lame dude. Just lame. I have better shit to do. You probably should too...but I'm betting you don't...

Late.
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Old 18 Oct 2005, 04:01 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Freebird
I finally dropped Daunte on my fantasy team....picked up Palmer....

Wooooooo *sigh*
Wow...I can't believe you, a Cincy fan, didn't pick up Palmer until now????

I picked him up a few weeks ago and he's been my starting qb since. I really can't see how he could be in free agent in any league right now.
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Old 18 Oct 2005, 06:20 PM   #10 (permalink)
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I had to trade to get Palmer.....had to give up Westbrook and Branch....
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Old 18 Oct 2005, 07:37 PM   #11 (permalink)
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I can't cut Daunte because of some screwed up thing on Yahoo.
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Old 18 Oct 2005, 07:53 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by -CAPS-
I had to trade to get Palmer.....had to give up Westbrook and Branch....
Well that makes more sense.

Be more specific.

Not a bad trade on your part at all.
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Old 18 Oct 2005, 08:03 PM   #13 (permalink)
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I can't cut Daunte because of some screwed up thing on Yahoo.
Nevermind.
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Old 19 Oct 2005, 10:58 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Spear
YEAH...WELL...IF THE FORDS SMARTEN UP, MY LIONS WILL GET MARCUS VICK!

Ok probably not.

knowing them they will bypass Vick and take either an offensive lineman or another wide receiver
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Old 19 Oct 2005, 03:08 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Woman sues Smith, alleging sexual assault
Associated Press
Posted: 23 hours ago

MINNEAPOLIS (AP) - A woman who contends Vikings running back Onterrio Smith sexually assaulted her last year has sued the player.

The 21-year-old woman is not identified in the lawsuit filed last week, for fear of retaliation, said her attorney, Lori Peterson.
The woman, who lives in the Twin Cities, says she was injured and humiliated and is seeking $150,000 in damages.

The lawsuit claims she suffers from a lifelong illness and her physician describes her as an "individual with disabilities." She has a form of mental impairment stemming from fetal alcohol syndrome.

Police reports indicate the woman met Smith through a friend, who was in an adjacent room in the Eden Prairie apartment during the alleged assault. The lawsuit mentions that a second Vikings player was involved in the attack, but that player is not identified because he "met his legal obligations," Peterson said.

Police in Eden Prairie, the Minneapolis suburb where the Vikings practice, investigated the rape report but no charges were filed.

Smith was notified of the lawsuit May 18 and has not responded, according to Peterson. Smith's agent did not immediately return a call Tuesday.

Smith was suspended for the season weeks after he was caught at the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport with several vials of dried urine and "The Original Whizzinator," which is marketed as a way to beat drug tests.
================================================== ========

Oh hooray...more good news.

Late.
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