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Ways to makle some sports more exciting
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Old 13 Jun 2004, 06:47 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Ways to makle some sports more exciting

Well, I write a humor newsletter that I e-mail to some friends. I wrote this one recently and figured its good enough to post here.



Baseball

 Allow every 4th batter to keep the bat while running if he gets a hit.
 A small explosive buried in a key area of outfield to be set off by whomever is replaced by the designated hitter. (1 per inning)
 Brass knuckles allowed only in 5th inning and any innings beyond the 9th.
 Make steroid use mandatory

Hockey

 Put five pucks on the ice. I’d like to see the goalies try to block all of those.
 5 players, 4 sticks ‘Nuff said
 Get rid of that aggravating guy who by a rule of the game has to not look right to me and be on screen everytime they show the crowd.

Soccer

 Allow one player on each team access to a tranquilizer gun. The gun will have one dart that will be replaced at halftime.
 Get rid of the keepers. The biggest problem with the game is the low score and the one guy allowed to use his hands is the biggest problem. (Now how did that serious one get in here?)
 What normally gets a yellow card will now get a red card. What normally gets a red card will result in beheading.

Football

 10 cheerleaders, 9 uniforms. ‘Nuff said
 Allow one player on offense access to a pool cue and on defense access to a garbage can lid.
 Replace extra point kicks with wiener races that hopefully won’t end with a bat to the head.

Basketball

 Allow one player on each team access to a jetpack. Allow these two to goaltend.
 Eliminate the first 3 quarters. The last one is the only one that’s competitive.
 Replace the traditional spherical ball with one shaped more like a football. Try dribbling that!
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Old 15 Jun 2004, 02:22 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Nick Saban , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Nick Saban , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Nick Saban , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Nick Saban , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Nick Saban , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Nick Saban , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Nick Saban , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Nick Saban , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Nick Saban , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Nick Saban , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Nick Saban , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.
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So, no one to subscribe to the newsletter. I can't blame you too much. After all, this is one of my better issues.
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Old 16 Jun 2004, 09:16 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Meh...Your Suggestions aren't half bad...lol.
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Old 16 Jun 2004, 09:51 PM   #4 (permalink)
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I have a few suggestions for making sports better.


Golf
Random balls set to explode on contact; whether it befrom the tee, fairway, rough, putting green, etc. Golfers would get a kick out of this

Have sharks, piranhas, and alligators in the water traps. Let's see if those golfers wanna fish after their balls now.

In the sand traps, have scorpions.


Hockey
Players can use sharpened metal hockey sticks. Impalement and decapitation occur on a regular basis. Last player skating wins

Have holes in the ice that players can fall in.


Ok, I'm bored now so I'm done
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