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Archie Manning does the talking for his little girl again.
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Old 05 May 2004, 03:05 PM   #1 (permalink)
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why me Archie Manning does the talking for his little girl again.

------------------------------------------------------------------------
Archie Manning Asks NFL Defensemen Not To Tackle His Son

NEW YORK--First, there was the 2004 draft, in which Archie Manning asked the San Diego Chargers not to select his son Eli with the first pick. The Chargers were insulted, but shipped young Manning to the Giants anyway. Now the senior Manning has issued a request to all NFL defensemen: Please don’t tackle my son.

“First let me just say that I appreciate the opportunity for my son to play in the NFL,” Manning said during an appearance on Sportscenter. “I know it’s a huge privilege and an honor, and the last thing I would want to do is ruffle feathers or draw undue attention to him. But I would like to request that any and all NFL defensemen refrain from tackling my son. He’s young and fragile, and any kind of physical contact could really hurt his career. Again, I don’t want to disrespect the game, but we really can’t have Eli being tackled at this point. I’m sure you all can understand.”

Manning said the decision to make the request came after days of deliberation, and was not intended to make a mockery of the league. It was designed solely to protect the well being of young Eli.

“This is completely out of character for our family,” said Manning. “We really hate to ask for special treatment because we know what a privilege it is to play football for a living. This was a very, very difficult decision to make and we did not approach it lightly. Simply put, my son can’t be tackled. Look at him. Look at that pretty face. Do you want to be the one to damage that? I don’t think so. So let’s all pull together and make sure Eli doesn’t get tackled. If we can’t get everyone to agree to this, he will sit out the season.”

Reaction from around the league has been mixed. The league’s defensemen are furious with the Mannings, and have vowed to tackle Eli as often as possible.

“Are they kidding? The kid doesn’t want to be tackled? This is football. Everyone gets tackled,” said Eagles defensive end Jevon Kearse. “I’m going to make it a point to beat the living shit out of that kid whenever possible. Hell, I’ll even take a penalty if I have to, just for the sheer joy of putting the pretty boy on his ass--that is, if I can stay healthy long enough to get in a game.”

Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis promised to remove Manning’s head from his body and vomit down his neck, if given the chance.

“Let me put it this way,” said Lewis from his home in Tampa. “When we play the Giants, it will be my mission to destroy him. I will stomp on him, spit on him, and crush his hopes and dreams. In fact, if he survives the game I will be very surprised. Don’t forget people—I’m crazy. I killed someone.”

Though Manning’s message may have been lost on the leagues defensive players, some experts are calling it “sensible” and “fair.” Michael Irvin, ESPN football analyst, believes that players have a right to protect themselves in order to avoid a career ending injury.

“Hey, we all got to make money We all want those endorsements, and any player who denies that is lying,” said Irvin. “Why shouldn’t he be able to exempt himself from being tackled? Why shouldn’t he refuse to be thrown on the ground? If he gets hurt and his career’s in jeopardy, it’ll cost him millions.“

He added: “Anytime a player does something to look after himself, everybody jump all over him like he selfish. I say players have a right to look out for themselves. Actually, I don’t say it, I scream it. I scream everything, even though I have a perfectly good microphone to amplify my voice.”

Despite the criticism from around the league, Archie Manning said his son is willing to sit out the season to avoid being tackled. There are several options open to Eli, including the Canadian Football League and the Arena league, but Manning insisted that his son would much rather play pro football. The only stipulation is exemption from the tackling rule.

“Look, it’s very easy. Just don’t tackle him,” said Manning. “It’s simple. If you get into the backfield, simply stand in front of him and try to bat down the pass. But don’t do it too hard. The ball could be batted back at Eli and poke him in the eye. It could also graze him, causing him to lose his balance and fall down, getting his uniform and hair dirty. If all the defensemen in the league could agree to this simple solution, Eli will be an NFL quarterback next year. If not, I have two words for Giants fans: Jesse Palmer.”

As for Eli, he’s been keeping a low profile since the draft, content to let his father do the talking. When reached for comment at his Manhattan apartment, the young quarterback downplayed his dad’s request.

“I understand that people are upset with me right now, but that’s OK,” he said. “I know my dad really believes in me not getting tackled, and I don’t blame him. You only get one career, one shot at this thing, and we’ve seen what injuries can do to a player. It wouldn’t be fair for me to get injured and deprive America of my excellence, charisma, and beauty. People wouldn’t stand for it. I just hope that we can reach some sort of an agreement on this thing so I don’t have to go to the Arena league. I really can’t deal with all that fucking Bon Jovi music.”

Manning Sr. has attempted to make a compromise with the NFL regarding his son’s safety. According to the commissioner’s office, he has already contacted the league and suggested Eli wear a flag or hankie in his back pocket so that defenders could attempt to capture it in lieu of actually tackling him.

“Have you ever played flag football? It’s a lot of fun,” said Manning. “You get to chase the guy around and try to pull the flag out of his back pocket. If you’ve never played it, let me tell you: It’s a blast. I think people like Ray Lewis, Brian Urlacher and Warren Sapp would really enjoy trying to get that flag. It’s harder than you think!”

When reached for comment, Urlacher vowed to capture Manning’s flag and use it to choke the life out of him.

Copyright 2003, The Brushback
http://www.thebrushback.com/manning_full.htm

---

my god...
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Old 05 May 2004, 03:18 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Oh My Fucking God....This Kid hasn't even played a snap in the NFL....Who the fuck do the Mannings Think this Kid is?...The Next coming Of God?...If I was on the defense playing against him...I would fucking rip his head off every fucking play.I might even try to end his carrer...I'm fucking serious...this is Football...Pee Wee Players Get Hit....This is the NFL...This Kid..is not getting paid millions of dollars to play fucking Flag Football...This is the absolute..most disgraceful thing I have ever seen In My life....I would be absolutly ashamed to be part of the Manning Family..Favre,Aikman,Young...Who Were all probably better than this pussy...were never given treatment like this...I swear to God...I will be ashamed to even Watch Pro Football if this kid gets what he wants...This is a mockery....
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Old 05 May 2004, 03:18 PM   #3 (permalink)
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LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!

I haven't laughed so hard in the long time.

Wow. What the fuck is he trying to do with his kid?

Manning is going to get killed out there now. Oh man...I can't wait to see him get sacked now. I can't believe Archie said that.
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Old 05 May 2004, 03:25 PM   #4 (permalink)
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eh.....you guys been PUNK'd......


hilarious, Exo.....you're really mad over this deal, aren't you?.....
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Old 05 May 2004, 03:27 PM   #5 (permalink)
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shit this isn't true?
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Old 05 May 2004, 03:30 PM   #6 (permalink)
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eh.....you guys been PUNK'd......


hilarious, Exo.....you're really mad over this deal, aren't you?.....
hey, you ruined my fun

Nah, that shit's all fake. It's from a sports parody website. They got some funny stuff up there. Check the link.

And yes, I will make it my mission to bash Elisha at any and every opportunity.
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Old 05 May 2004, 03:31 PM   #7 (permalink)
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hey, you ruined my fun
sorry 'bout that.....One, Reb.....you guys didn't read the entire article.....



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Old 05 May 2004, 03:31 PM   #8 (permalink)
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OT: I got the radio on and it's playing Jungle love by The Time, and they keep going o-e-o-e-o. It's freaking me out.
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Old 05 May 2004, 03:32 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Damn exo...you had me going. I was pissing myself laughing. I wish it was real. When I first read it I was like 'There is no way in hell this is true'. That Ray Lewis quote was priceless.
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Old 05 May 2004, 03:33 PM   #10 (permalink)
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OT: I got the radio on and it's playing Jungle love by The Time, and they keep going o-e-o-e-o. It's freaking me out.
L.S.H.I.F.O.M.C.......
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Old 05 May 2004, 03:34 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Oeo
sorry 'bout that.....One, Reb.....you guys didn't read the entire article.....



I know...I was skimming over it. Now that i'm reading it all there is no way that could be true.
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Old 05 May 2004, 03:36 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Quote:
“Have you ever played flag football? It’s a lot of fun,” said Manning. “You get to chase the guy around and try to pull the flag out of his back pocket. If you’ve never played it, let me tell you: It’s a blast. I think people like Ray Lewis, Brian Urlacher and Warren Sapp would really enjoy trying to get that flag. It’s harder than you think!”


Quote:
I just hope that we can reach some sort of an agreement on this thing so I don’t have to go to the Arena league. I really can’t deal with all that fucking Bon Jovi music.”
I'm listening to Bon Jovi.....

Exo, this is the best thing I've read today.....
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Old 05 May 2004, 04:40 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Man....Forget You Guys..lol...Like Reb. I just skimmed over it....
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Old 05 May 2004, 08:47 PM   #14 (permalink)
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LMFAO, I read the entire thing and could tell it was mocking the little bitch.


I saw One's and Rebel's replies and was like, "what the fuck?! They think it's real?!?"

LMFAO, great find Exo. I'll join you in bashing the little crybaby at every opportunity
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Old 05 May 2004, 09:29 PM   #15 (permalink)
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I wish Eli, and other pretty-boy QB's, could get a chance to meet Joe Greene, Jack Lambert, Greg Lloyd, and Kevin Green on the same field.

Notice I used all Steelers, hehehe.
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I did. Remember?? You're just following me around acting like a little bitch posting after every post I put down because...well, because hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

You're probably sitting there wishing you had a pic of my kids so you could Photoshop them onto something because that's all you can really do.

Sure...you can take a run at numbfuck SC or plainjane Josh or complete moron Alex or can't get out of his own way Boston...but I don't agree with you about Barry and it's "Rueben Droughns this" "weed that" "your kids this" "Look at me and my halo over my head that."

Whatever. First of all, you don't have any depth of knowledge about any of that stuff, so you're just talking out of your ass. Secondly, you wouldn't be saying any of that shit if Barry Bonds wasn't some roided up freak who you're in love with.

It's fucking gay. I have better things to do than deal with someone who can't even debate a point, rather changes the subject again and again to deflect the fact that he's dead wrong. It's what dumbass 6th graders do...


I honestly don't give a fuck about your opinion. Like I told Alex, they're just words on a screen. I can't believe you don't get that concept...but okay.

I mean...you're the kind of guy that thinks if you yell louder than the other person, you will win a debate. And that's not new either...I've pretty much thought that about you from day one...

I didn't want to put it that way, but since you want to press on...

Lame dude. Just lame. I have better shit to do. You probably should too...but I'm betting you don't...

Late.
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