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The Impossible Dream
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Old 22 Jul 2008, 02:15 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default The Impossible Dream

I was dreaming last night that I was at a law firm party attended by Shirley Schmidt of Crane, Poole, & Schmidt and she was hiring for the San Francisco branch of her firm. I had just about landed a job and she told me that she doesn't hire anyone who can't drink like a man. She hands me a full glass of whisky and says, "Drink." I don't hesitate, and I'm hired.

The drive home from the city goes quickly and I find myself in Corte Madera and my car spins out unexpectedly on the side of the road. Shocked, I step out to survey the damage. It soon becomes apparent that I've locked my keys in my car with the engine running. I slap my forehead. "FUUUUUCK."

Then, a figure appears in the night. A gorgeous, tall brunette with an amazing body walking down the side of the highway. I recognize her as a friend of a friend but can't remember her name. Stunned, I make brief eye contact and she smiles and playfully slams me onto the hood of my car and assaults my throat with her tongue.

Suddenly, I'm not there anymore. I'm across town, but town is a bunch of canals surrounded by roman looking buildings. I ask a man what the fastest way back to the freeway is, and he points to the murky water. I jump in. I swim for miles and miles and slide down countless spillways of varying lengths. A few stretches of rapids and short waterfalls for good measure. The suit I was wearing was ruined and I run toward the car. She's inside. I ask her to open the door but she replies that she is locked in.

How stupid is this woman?

I beg and plead for her to open the door so we can get back to where she left off but she doesn't understand at all. Frustration mounts.

So I broke the window, and ate her ass.

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Old 22 Jul 2008, 02:20 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Did you use a knife and fork?
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Old 22 Jul 2008, 02:42 AM   #3 (permalink)
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perhaps a spoon?
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Old 22 Jul 2008, 02:45 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Maybe a knife and a spork?
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Old 22 Jul 2008, 02:49 AM   #5 (permalink)
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you live in San Fran....maybe Chopsticks?
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Old 22 Jul 2008, 02:49 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Well maybe if you didn't lock yourself out in the first place, you would have had the keys to unlock the door yourself.... and wouldn't have to rely on the dumb woman...


chopsticks?
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Old 22 Jul 2008, 02:54 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
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Well maybe if you didn't lock yourself out in the first place, you would have had the keys to unlock the door yourself.... and wouldn't have to rely on the dumb woman...


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Old 22 Jul 2008, 03:14 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Big job opportunities with shaky requirements. Drinking alcohol and almost crashing because of it. Wanting a girl that you can't have.

Perhaps you live a life of vice, or think about it. For Christ's sake, you were swimming through rapids.

My only question: did you really break in and eat her ass at the end? Usually a dream wouldn't have an ending that good. And damn, you should've fucked her.
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Old 22 Jul 2008, 03:18 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Spear should cut his own throat and bleed to death.Spear should cut his own throat and bleed to death.Spear should cut his own throat and bleed to death.Spear should cut his own throat and bleed to death.Spear should cut his own throat and bleed to death.Spear should cut his own throat and bleed to death.Spear should cut his own throat and bleed to death.Spear should cut his own throat and bleed to death.Spear should cut his own throat and bleed to death.Spear should cut his own throat and bleed to death.Spear should cut his own throat and bleed to death.
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I had a dream that I was serving a two year prison sentence for something I didn't do, but got out because I foiled the plot of an evil prison guard throwing a party for the upscale in the state. She planed to make high ranking officials of the Michigan government overdose on cocaine, by baking a cake, with a round part in the middle loaded with the stuff.

Yeah, I don't know either. Trev still wins though.
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Old 22 Jul 2008, 04:43 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex View Post
My only question: did you really break in and eat her ass at the end? Usually a dream wouldn't have an ending that good. And damn, you should've fucked her.
I was as surprised as you. I have no idea why I did that.
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Old 22 Jul 2008, 05:25 PM   #11 (permalink)
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You make some dumb mistakes in your dreams.
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Old 22 Jul 2008, 05:36 PM   #12 (permalink)
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I misread that and thought you were bragging about tossing Murphy Brown's salad.
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