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Brief Rundown on Scientology please.
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Old 31 Jan 2008, 03:14 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Brief Rundown on Scientology please.

Can anyone give me a link or just tell me briefly about this whole Scientology thing? i'd like to know what everyone is talking about.

Thanks
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Old 31 Jan 2008, 03:20 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I'm just going to assume your too poor, so I wouldn't worry about it....
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Old 31 Jan 2008, 03:41 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Oh I'm sure I am. I just want to know what I'm laughing at when different shows make fun of it.
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Old 31 Jan 2008, 03:46 PM   #4 (permalink)
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It is a bullshit cult created by L. Ron Hubbard designed to separate the wealthiest bunch of dumbfucks from as much of their money as possible by allowing them to pay their way up the ranks.

Just go google it or something.

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Old 31 Jan 2008, 04:35 PM   #5 (permalink)
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The evil lord Xenu thought his galaxy was overpopulated, so he froze millions of aliens and flew them to earth in spaceships that were identical to DC-9s. He dropped them into the volcanoes of Hawaii and their souls rose toward the skies where they were caught by Xenu's soul catchers and he put them in massive theaters where they watched 3D movies designed to brainwash.

The souls then wandered aimlessly, confused. They attached themselves to humans and cause all sorts of bad things. We call them Thetans. Scientologists work to remove their Thetans.

That is the religion that Tom Cruise is the messiah of.
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Old 31 Jan 2008, 05:14 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Damn I love South Park.
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Old 31 Jan 2008, 05:15 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Yeah that's actually the episode that made me ask. I saw it earlier this afternoon.
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Old 31 Jan 2008, 05:20 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Yeah that's actually the episode that made me ask. I saw it earlier this afternoon.
Well, Matt and Trey have it absolutely right. That's all you really need to know.
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Old 31 Jan 2008, 05:44 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Here's some crazy scientology followers.

<object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/pPol_m8wm8Y&rel=1"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/pPol_m8wm8Y&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object>
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Old 31 Jan 2008, 06:06 PM   #10 (permalink)
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http://www.xenu.net/archive/leaflet/xenuleaf.htm

The full story... better than I told it.
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Old 31 Jan 2008, 06:09 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Didn't Chef leave because of that episode and then they did the whole chef-got-killed-for-joining-a-cult thing? I didn't see any of it, except for when he got killed and then a dog urinated on him.
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Old 31 Jan 2008, 06:25 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Exo View Post
Didn't Chef leave because of that episode and then they did the whole chef-got-killed-for-joining-a-cult thing? I didn't see any of it, except for when he got killed and then a dog urinated on him.
Yep, they have already made fun of Mormons, Jews, Catholics, Muslims and Hindus but the second they made fun of Scientology Tom Cruise threatened to revoke Issac Hayes' celebrity card and he quit the show.
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Old 31 Jan 2008, 06:40 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Quote:
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Didn't Chef leave because of that episode and then they did the whole chef-got-killed-for-joining-a-cult thing? I didn't see any of it, except for when he got killed and then a dog urinated on him.
Yep, Chef came back for one episode and joined the Super Adventure Club.

The Super Adventure Club was founded by the greatest explorer of all time, William P. Phinehas. Phinehas climbed the highest peaks, tamed the mightiest rivers, but every time he got somewhere, he realized that other explorers had beat him to it. Phinehas was depressed, until he realized that if he couldn't be the first to discover places, he could be the first to have sex with the native children that inhabited those areas! Phinehas quickly went down in history books as the first man to have sex with the Aborigine children at Uluru, and the first explorer to bugger all the underage mountainfolk of Nepal. But now the most wonderful part: you see, after having sex with all those children, Phinehas realized that molesting all those kids had made him immortal. He discovered that children have things called marlocks in their bodies. And when an adult has sex with a child, the marlocks implode, feeding the adult receptive cavity with energy that causes immortality, so saith the ruler of Bethos. Phinehas traveled the world, loving many, many children, and he lived for eternity. Until he was hit by a train in 1892.

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Old 31 Jan 2008, 07:26 PM   #14 (permalink)
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fuck scientology
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Old 31 Jan 2008, 07:45 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Trevelbond View Post
The evil lord Xenu thought his galaxy was overpopulated, so he froze millions of aliens and flew them to earth in spaceships that were identical to DC-9s. He dropped them into the volcanoes of Hawaii and their souls rose toward the skies where they were caught by Xenu's soul catchers and he put them in massive theaters where they watched 3D movies designed to brainwash.

The souls then wandered aimlessly, confused. They attached themselves to humans and cause all sorts of bad things. We call them Thetans. Scientologists work to remove their Thetans.

That is the religion that Tom Cruise is the messiah of.
Holy fuck that was funny shit.
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