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Well it's over.
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Old 16 Dec 2007, 08:17 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Well it's over.

Shelby and I. Over the past month and a half or so, we've been in the process of breaking up. She called me one night and told me that she wasn't happy and that she wanted to call it quits. It didn't sound like that over the phone though, so I didn't fight it any. The next few days were filled with her not really listening to me in a subconscious effort to get me to hate her. Her mom knocked some sense into her though, and she felt bad. Looking back on it, if there was any chance to get with her again it was now, but I didn't jump on it. The next month or so was shit. We both didn't handle things right. She honestly thought she could break up with me without hurting me. She thought we could do all the things we used to, and break up, and everything would be fine. Didn't work though, and to some credit to her, she suggested maybe we just don't talk, but I refused. The worst came when she went to this dance with this guy last week, kissed him, and then said yes to going out with him that Monday. I was pissed, because she was leading me on, then did that. I blew up on her a few times, she did the same with me. We had a conversation where we both hung up on each other a couple of times. The final one that night though, we basically tried to keep our cool, and she told me she wants me to be happy, and when I can do that and accept what's happened, talk to her. She still wants to be friends, and still wants me in her life.

I'm not going to say anything like, "oh you guys were right" or anything like that. Quite honestly I feel like I've learned so much about myself through her. We've both helped each other so much over the 14 months we were together, and I wouldn't trade it for the world. I'd also do it all over again, even if I knew from the start that it would end like this.

Now I'm just trying to figure out what I want to do in the terms of personal life. I'm not sure if I want to try to get into another relationship, or if I want to sit back for a while and have fun. Basically be 17. I'm just not sure right now which one is the smarter option.
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Old 16 Dec 2007, 08:28 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Best advice...find a chick you can see regularly. Like several times a week.

Seriously, not piling on or anything but this is why long distance relationships don't work: people have physical needs. Jerking off on msn doesn't count either. Not saying that's how you rolled, but...

I've tried the long distance thing. Not even really from so long a distance, a couple of times. It just doesn't work, dude. Find someone in your town; have a real relationship.

Late.
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Old 16 Dec 2007, 08:33 AM   #3 (permalink)
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The moment any woman kisses another man AND then arranges to meet him up again i would have said 'bye, bye' from then. Hell the simple kiss would have been enough, especially when a ring hasn't been put on her finger and they are no kids to think about it.

But i hope you recover, Spear. Sometimes when you've been with someone for so long and then break it'll be a shock to the system and at times difficult to take, but hopefully you'll be ok. You're 17 and as you said you've learnt a lot, so the relationship was atleast not a compete waste of time.

Stay single for awhile, man. Don't go on a rebound. Hang out with your boys, meet new people, some new ladies and enjoy yourself and when the time is right, when you've taken you're time, get with someone else. But don't rush, that'll be a mistake.
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Old 16 Dec 2007, 08:52 AM   #4 (permalink)
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The moment any woman kisses another man AND then arranges to meet him up again i would have said 'bye, bye' from then. Hell the simple kiss would have been enough, especially when a ring hasn't been put on her finger and they are no kids to think about it.

But i hope you recover, Spear. Sometimes when you've been with someone for so long and then break it'll be a shock to the system and at times difficult to take, but hopefully you'll be ok. You're 17 and as you said you've learnt a lot, so the relationship was atleast not a compete waste of time.

Stay single for awhile, man. Don't go on a rebound. Hang out with your boys, meet new people, some new ladies and enjoy yourself and when the time is right, when you've taken you're time, get with someone else. But don't rush, that'll be a mistake.
It has been difficult to take, especially considering the circumstances around the whole thing. She had problems with us, but led me to believe things were fine and waited for me to fix problems I didn't know existed. She was giving me her all, and there were things I wasn't doing to give back. I think with some of her reasons she's kind of magnifying them, and piling them onto one another, but with the two she's really given me I can understand why she'd be upset. I didn't write her letters when she was sending me like one a week, and there were a lot of nights where I could've called her but didn't, because I put something over her. The whole thing was really one big shock followed by another, and she didn't give me a whole lot of time to brace myself for it. It hurt when I told her I was so close to being able to give back to the relationship, and she responded by telling me if she had known that she wouldn't have done anything, but wasn't willing to take me back. It also hurt when she got with this guy she's with now, and quite honestly it seems like a rebound relationship.

As for the future, like I said I don't know. I do actually have my eye on this one girl in my AP Government class. I've had my eye on her for a while now, like since before Shelby. I need to decide though, when am I over Shelby? When am I at the point where I can get into another relationship for reasons other than filling that void in my life I have now? It'll be tough.
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Old 16 Dec 2007, 10:02 AM   #5 (permalink)
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It has been difficult to take, especially considering the circumstances around the whole thing. She had problems with us, but led me to believe things were fine and waited for me to fix problems I didn't know existed. She was giving me her all, and there were things I wasn't doing to give back. I think with some of her reasons she's kind of magnifying them, and piling them onto one another, but with the two she's really given me I can understand why she'd be upset. I didn't write her letters when she was sending me like one a week, and there were a lot of nights where I could've called her but didn't, because I put something over her. The whole thing was really one big shock followed by another, and she didn't give me a whole lot of time to brace myself for it. It hurt when I told her I was so close to being able to give back to the relationship, and she responded by telling me if she had known that she wouldn't have done anything, but wasn't willing to take me back. It also hurt when she got with this guy she's with now, and quite honestly it seems like a rebound relationship.

As for the future, like I said I don't know. I do actually have my eye on this one girl in my AP Government class. I've had my eye on her for a while now, like since before Shelby. I need to decide though, when am I over Shelby? When am I at the point where I can get into another relationship for reasons other than filling that void in my life I have now? It'll be tough.
Thats the problem with long distance relationships. Writing letters, speaking on the phone and meeting up once now and then ain't gonna cut it forever. You'll both want more, wanna be able to sit there in your room and just call your girl up and be like 'hey, wanna catch a movie?' or whatever, without having to plan for weeks on end and arrange the money for transport and what not, especially when you're so young and most likely not earning a whole lot right about now.

As for this new girl, speak to her, take it slow. Chill out maybe with her friend and your friends or chill out alone and when you're ready and if shes game, move it to the next level. But don't rush, rebounds are usually a 'no, no'.
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Old 16 Dec 2007, 10:19 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Thats the problem with long distance relationships. Writing letters, speaking on the phone and meeting up once now and then ain't gonna cut it forever. You'll both want more, wanna be able to sit there in your room and just call your girl up and be like 'hey, wanna catch a movie?' or whatever, without having to plan for weeks on end and arrange the money for transport and what not, especially when you're so young and most likely not earning a whole lot right about now.

As for this new girl, speak to her, take it slow. Chill out maybe with her friend and your friends or chill out alone and when you're ready and if shes game, move it to the next level. But don't rush, rebounds are usually a 'no, no'.
Yeah. I was actually thinking about seeing if she wanted to hang out at the mall or something this upcoming weekend if we're both free. Would let me get to know her a little better and see what I want to do better.

Dunno.
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Old 16 Dec 2007, 11:15 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Yeah. I was actually thinking about seeing if she wanted to hang out at the mall or something this upcoming weekend if we're both free. Would let me get to know her a little better and see what I want to do better.

Dunno.
Try and avoid going shopping with women, its usually a nightmare.

Just say if she wants to hang out, then you can think up something good to do, usually taking a woman out to watch movie is always good, especially if its a scary movie so that they'll cling onto your arm.
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Old 16 Dec 2007, 12:26 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Spear should cut his own throat and bleed to death.Spear should cut his own throat and bleed to death.Spear should cut his own throat and bleed to death.Spear should cut his own throat and bleed to death.Spear should cut his own throat and bleed to death.Spear should cut his own throat and bleed to death.Spear should cut his own throat and bleed to death.Spear should cut his own throat and bleed to death.Spear should cut his own throat and bleed to death.Spear should cut his own throat and bleed to death.Spear should cut his own throat and bleed to death.
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Try and avoid going shopping with women, its usually a nightmare.

Just say if she wants to hang out, then you can think up something good to do, usually taking a woman out to watch movie is always good, especially if its a scary movie so that they'll cling onto your arm.
Yeah but I've also found movies to kind of hinder the ability to get to know a girl. I'd rather talk to her, see what she's about and whatnot. A movie I'm guessing would be good for like a second date or something like that, but not first. Dunno.

I've actually been thinking about seeing if I can get some of my sexual fantasies out of the way. I, like many guys, have a list of stuff I want to do before I die. Might try to get one or two crossed off.
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Old 16 Dec 2007, 01:10 PM   #9 (permalink)
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The girl I liked and supposedly liked me hooked up with some dude at a party last night. Fuck. That.
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Old 16 Dec 2007, 02:58 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Fuck.

My mom just called and told me that my great grandmother isn't doing very well. We've changed our holiday plans to seeing her.

Fucking shitty holiday. Lost my girl, and now I might lose my grandmother.
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Old 16 Dec 2007, 11:12 PM   #11 (permalink)
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bitches aint shit but hos and tricks

for the next one dude, aim for a bitch that lives in your city.
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Old 17 Dec 2007, 12:32 AM   #12 (permalink)
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I gotta say, I know it is common knowledge that the Mrs. and I hooked up through here, but she was a short 6 hour drive away, and I having a job that provide with a good bit of disposable income allowed me to travel to see her often....then we moved in together and then........we is married 4 years. At your age amigo, kinda hard to make that long distance stuff work. Keep ya chin up man.


....and Chris......I am telling my wife what you said and you is gonna be in trouble.
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Old 17 Dec 2007, 01:16 AM   #13 (permalink)
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I gotta say, I know it is common knowledge that the Mrs. and I hooked up through here, but she was a short 6 hour drive away, and I having a job that provide with a good bit of disposable income allowed me to travel to see her often....then we moved in together and then........we is married 4 years. At your age amigo, kinda hard to make that long distance stuff work. Keep ya chin up man.


....and Chris......I am telling my wife what you said and you is gonna be in trouble.
You and the missus are about twice the youngin's age.

Mature adults more than capable of makng their own life choices.

I'm sorry, Spear is a good kid....I like the guy....but if you need your mom to take you to disneyland so you can see your girlfriend, magic 8 ball says "outlook not good"
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Old 17 Dec 2007, 10:15 AM   #14 (permalink)
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You callin' me old ?

Spear is indeed a youngin, hence why I said at his age that shit just don't work.
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Old 17 Dec 2007, 10:56 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Really, it's all just gaining experience. It'll suck, but then you're going to go through this shit a fair amount of times anyway. I guess it didn't help any when the Chargers crushed Detroit
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