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Old 01 Feb 2007, 01:00 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default how do you tell...

Today at around 8 o'clock in the morning...very very early in the morning for me...my best friend/childhood friend/first crush called me and this is how it went...*crying* *crying* i said "What's wrong? what happened?"....she responded "(my name), my father just passed away" *crying* *crying*...me: *blank* *blank* i didn't know how to or know what exactly to say...if i was to tell you her story and the relationship between her and her father, y'all would understand how sad this is...but it is very personal so i won't talk about it...but i felt so bad because i didn't know what to say and still don't know how i can make her feels better...suggestions? experience you guys have with this?

well i'm going to give her a call right now to see what i can do...
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Old 01 Feb 2007, 01:04 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Gino, how are any of us supposed to know what to do?


Don't take offense to this because i'll listen to what you have to say and ask but it needs to be in detail for things like this man.
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Old 01 Feb 2007, 01:12 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Just be there for her, listen, and be supportive and reassuring.

I'm sorry to hear this happened.
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Old 01 Feb 2007, 01:28 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Gino, how are any of us supposed to know what to do?


Don't take offense to this because i'll listen to what you have to say and ask but it needs to be in detail for things like this man.
i'll give some details since this is not a story for anyone to be ashamed of...as a matter of fact it should definitely be the opposite...

So she live with her father and her little brother all her life, her mother (from what i know) were having an affair and left her father...her father struggled to survived here in the United States and raising a daughter and son at the same time coming from a third world country (which i won't mention or no need to talk about), which at the time she were 13, and now 7 years later she went from a no-speaking-english girl to finished first in her high school with all the honors and full-ride scholarship to some of the top schools (she's going to UC San Diego right now) and majoring in the medical field ( i forgot which one) and her reason for chosing that major was because she knows her father is suffering from some cancer and she wants to be a doctor to helps everybody, including her father. Her first year at UCSD she finished with 4.0 GPA ...her father is a very proud man and now this tragic happened...so now she is all alone in San Diego with her little brother of 18, and she is 20 with no relatives...i am living in the Bay Area and I actually haven't seen her in a couple years but been keeping in touch via phones and messages.

i feel so bad right now and wish there is something i can do for her but obviously i can't and no i'm not making this story up even if it is the internet...i swear on it...and you can believe or not either way this is not about me...this is about a very unfortunate girl.
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Old 01 Feb 2007, 01:37 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by GINOBILIIIII
i'll give some details since this is not a story for anyone to be ashamed of...as a matter of fact it should definitely be the opposite...

So she live with her father and her little brother all her life, her mother (from what i know) were having an affair and left her father...her father struggled to survived here in the United States and raising a daughter and son at the same time coming from a third world country (which i won't mention or no need to talk about), which at the time she were 13, and now 7 years later she went from a no-speaking-english girl to finished first in her high school with all the honors and full-ride scholarship to some of the top schools (she's going to UC San Diego right now) and majoring in the medical field ( i forgot which one) and her reason for chosing that major was because she knows her father is suffering from some cancer and she wants to be a doctor to helps everybody, including her father. Her first year at UCSD she finished with 4.0 GPA ...her father is a very proud man and now this tragic happened...so now she is all alone in San Diego with her little brother of 18, and she is 20 with no relatives...i am living in the Bay Area and I actually haven't seen her in a couple years but been keeping in touch via phones and messages.

i feel so bad right now and wish there is something i can do for her but obviously i can't and no i'm not making this story up even if it is the internet...i swear on it...and you can believe or not either way this is not about me...this is about a very unfortunate girl.
That's so sad.................


I can't tell you what to do and why but I think you should go see her. She's got her little brother to have company with in this hard time but just ask her if she'd want you to come visit her for the first time in years. Just comfort her.
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Old 01 Feb 2007, 02:08 AM   #6 (permalink)
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you can't really do anything but listen to her and be there for her....

the situation sucks, and I'm really sorry for her loss.
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Old 01 Feb 2007, 09:33 AM   #7 (permalink)
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There is really nothing for you to do right now. You just need to be there for her, check up on her, and make sure that she knows that there are people out there who care about her right now.

Right now, though she's an adult, she feels like a little kid. She feels lost, scared, and hurt.

I'm very sorry for her loss. He sounds like a great man.
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Old 01 Feb 2007, 11:17 AM   #8 (permalink)
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I never had a father to lose, so I can't relate at all....

but I have lost many of close family mebers to cancer and she should be relieved that he doesn't have to be in pain anymore........
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Old 02 Feb 2007, 01:03 AM   #9 (permalink)
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^Many family members? That's terrible...
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Old 02 Feb 2007, 03:06 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Be with her, support her and let her know you'll be there through out. Let her know if she needs a shoulder you will be that shoulder to cry on.
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Old 02 Feb 2007, 03:29 AM   #11 (permalink)
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i'm trying to be there for her just that physically i can't...but i've made it clear that i'm "here" for her and i'll listen to her like many suggested...well thanks guys...it was actually hard for me but i know it is nothing comparing to what she and her brother are going through right now...
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Old 02 Feb 2007, 03:47 AM   #12 (permalink)
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i'm trying to be there for her just that physically i can't...but i've made it clear that i'm "here" for her and i'll listen to her like many suggested...well thanks guys...it was actually hard for me but i know it is nothing comparing to what she and her brother are going through right now...
How come you can't be there physically? She live far away?
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Old 02 Feb 2007, 03:55 AM   #13 (permalink)
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a couple hours drive...actually 8+ hours if drive fast...it is not that bad...i would actually go see her just that i can't due to some personal reasons...i know how terrible that sounds but i really can't
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Old 02 Feb 2007, 04:14 AM   #14 (permalink)
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a couple hours drive...actually 8+ hours if drive fast...it is not that bad...i would actually go see her just that i can't due to some personal reasons...i know how terrible that sounds but i really can't
Well if its an over 8 hour drive then i understand, had it been like an hour then aybe, but 8 hours, nah. But keep doing what your doing, when she needs you just be there via phone.
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Old 02 Feb 2007, 09:04 AM   #15 (permalink)
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i'm trying to be there for her just that physically i can't...but i've made it clear that i'm "here" for her and i'll listen to her like many suggested...well thanks guys...it was actually hard for me but i know it is nothing comparing to what she and her brother are going through right now...
You don't have to physically be there for her.

I was "there" for my dad when my grandfather died, and he was across the country at the time.

She would never expect you to just show up. She's your friend. She understands that you can't be there with her. But you can be there for her.
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