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Old 11 Dec 2006, 06:01 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Talking Letters to Santa

http://www.asksanta.ca/sendyourwishlist.aspx

Some of you might think this is lame, I dont care. Write a letter to Santa, e-mail to him then post it here. It should make for some decent laughs...




Here is mine...

Dear Santa,

Where have you been the last couple of years? I'm starting to think that you don’t care about me any more man…

I just don't understand, I try my best to be a good upstanding citizen every year, I help as many people as I can. I am doing my best to be good to my friends and family, work hard at my job and pay my taxes. I just don’t understand why you keep passing me over.

Anyways, I am hoping that you can acknowledge my presence this year. I am not asking for any material gifts. I just want good health, and good fortune for my friends and my family.

I hope this is not too much to ask (It's not like I'm asking for world peace or anything )

Santa, Please make my Christmas wish come true. I truly belive that I have earned it.

Thank-You for taking the time to read my letter

Yours Truly

Dick Biggs
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Old 11 Dec 2006, 06:08 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Dear Santa,

I am a good boy who has paid many dues and would now appreciate your delivering the following gifts from my list. They are numbered in order of importance, since they all share equally and I expect you to take this into consideration. For Christmas I would like the following...

Chargers win the superbowl. We might not need your help on this one, but it never hurts to have a back up plan. Am I right big guy?

The biggest hd flat tv you can find. 70+ inches is a good place to start. I'll need something like this for the super bowl party and all.

New wheels, lift kit, pipes, headers and a super charger just for good measure for my truck. This stock action just isn't working for me.

Well, I guess it is only three things or I am just not as good at writing these letters as I used to be. Be nice to my boss and tell him to give me a substantial raise when you stop by his house.

Regards,

Exo
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Old 11 Dec 2006, 06:59 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Santa,

I still believe in you, despite how the kids at school tease me. For Christmas I want you to shoot all those non believers dead then it will be just you and me. We can run away to our dream home in Connecticut and raise our little children. We will get an SUV, so we have room for all our kid's soccer stuff. It will be just like we imagined. Looking forward to our midnight Christmas party under the misiltoe.

XOXO

Crazyskill
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Old 11 Dec 2006, 07:03 PM   #4 (permalink)
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^^^rep ..
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Old 11 Dec 2006, 07:09 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Boystar , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Boystar , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Boystar , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Boystar , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Boystar , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Boystar , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Boystar , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Boystar , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Boystar , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Boystar , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Boystar , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.
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That is fucking lame, but it's all good.

"Hey Kids. Get creative."

Hey dude I'm wondering how you even found this site, but don't worry about what other people think, just do what's real to you. If you feel the need to drop Santa a line, then do so regardless of how much idiots like me laugh at you.

Okay let's do this shit...

Boystar straight outta the Yukon Territory (gaysexlol@yahoo.com)

Dear Santa,

Run up in your spot like CJ from San Andreas! Nigga!

Hey Santa, I drank a fifth of Vodka, dare me to drive? You know that song by NWA called "Fuck Tha Police?"

Love,

The Boooystaaar, leader of the Lil Niggas.

PS We should be together too.
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Old 11 Dec 2006, 07:14 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Boystar


That is fucking lame, but it's all good.

"Hey Kids. Get creative."

Hey dude I'm wondering how you even found this site, but don't worry about what other people think, just do what's real to you. If you feel the need to drop Santa a line, then do so regardless of how much idiots like me laugh at you.
. [/I]

It was a link on my MSN messanger homepage...I thought it was funny.
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Old 11 Dec 2006, 07:19 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Boystar , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Boystar , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Boystar , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Boystar , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Boystar , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Boystar , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Boystar , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Boystar , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Boystar , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Boystar , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Boystar , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.
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You know that is pretty funny..... can't wait till Santa gets to read that shit.... hope he enjoys a piece of a nigga's mind....
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Old 11 Dec 2006, 09:54 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Dear Santa...

Thank you for my duals and how good they came out. Now, if you could just help me to not have to do any of the requirements for Confirmation I'd be much obliged.

SE
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Old 11 Dec 2006, 10:03 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Dear Santa.

I'm 17 years old, I live in NJ, I'm still in high school, I've been a good boy, I...WAIT, wait...you already know all this right? Santa, answer me this one question..Where have you been the last 10 years of my life? Every year, I get a piece of paper, I sit down on my ass(which is hard because I'm always on the go and Its hard for me to think what I want but I still do it for you), but the thing that upsets me is, I always asked how "you were doing?" I always made sure to ask you...Santa. How you were feeling, how the reindeers were doing, how was your wife, have you gained anymore weight this year, if I should use skim milk or regular milk to put out for you this year, if you want cookies or cake this year, etc... etc...but you never answered me back and I never seen you. For 10 years, I've been doing that Santa..I've been writing that and I've been waiting up for you and you know what, I'm getting sick of it. So I don't want no tv's, I don't want no money, no Ipods, no world peace, bury treasure, etc...What I want from you,Santa...ok.... is I want YOU to lose control and fly your little fucking sleigh and your 8 HIV positive reindeer into the back of a trailor truck on Highway I-95, you fat fucking selfish son of a bitch. I hope your bitch ass of a wife, chokes and dies from massive amounts of cum that she takes in from the "head" elf at the toy factory up at the north pole. I hope Rudolph gets made fun of by all the other reindeer and decides to cut his red nose off and bleed to death. You have caused me nothing but pain for years, you fat jackass and this year, I pray that you end your life. Thats my Christmas wish..I don't even have a list this year...I just want you to die.

Fuck your mother.

-John
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Old 11 Dec 2006, 10:53 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Dear Santa...

I wish I was a normal boy...

- Ninja
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Old 12 Dec 2006, 05:51 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Dear Santa,

Mike already got me my water bottle ice cube tray. Thanks anyway. Perhaps a new water bottle to use them in?

-Bethony

I lied and said I lived in Ontario, I hope santa knows I was talking about my street name...
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Old 12 Dec 2006, 09:01 PM   #12 (permalink)
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SC is a god damn rich cunt.SC is a god damn rich cunt.SC is a god damn rich cunt.SC is a god damn rich cunt.SC is a god damn rich cunt.SC is a god damn rich cunt.SC is a god damn rich cunt.SC is a god damn rich cunt.SC is a god damn rich cunt.SC is a god damn rich cunt.SC is a god damn rich cunt.
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Dear Mr. I'm too good to call or write my fans:

This'll be the last package I ever send your ass. It's been six months and still no word. I don't deserve it? I know you got my last two letters, I wrote the addresses on 'em perfect.

So this is my cassette I'm sending you. I hope you hear it. I'm in the sled right now. I'm doing 90 on the freeway. Hey Santa I drank a 5th a vodka dare me to drive? You know that song by Phil Collins in the air in the night about that guy who could've saved that other guy from drowning, but didn't and Phil saw it all and at his show he found him, thats kinda how this is you could've rescued me from drowning. Now its too late I'm on a 1000 ginger bread man now, I'm full, and all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call I hope you know I ripped all your pictures off the wall. I loved you Santa, we could have been together. Think about it. You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it! And when you dream, I hope you can't sleep and you scream about it! I hope your conscious eats at you and you can't breathe without me! See Santa, {screaming} shut up bitch, I'm trying to talk. Hey Santa, that's my Tri screaming in the trunk. But I didn't slit his throat, I just tied him up, see I ain't like you. 'Cause if he suffocates, he'll suffer more, then he'll die too. Well, gotta go, I'm almost at the end of my bag of ginger bread men. Oh shit, I forgot, how am I supposed to send this shit out?
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Old 12 Dec 2006, 10:19 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Dear Santa,

For Christmas, I'd like you to ask God for another flood. Please.

Warm Regards,
The Glue.

Late.
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