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Old 14 Jul 2005, 11:48 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Guilt trips

I'm pretty used to being ran through them myself...seems to be a fun past time for my family. Seeing as my grandmother puts me through one atleast once every month or two you'd think I would be better at dealing with this shit but yet here I am again...pissed off, crying, sitting in my work area that just got physically destroyed by my immediate fit of rage, and feeling like a fuckin piece of shit. I know I didn't do anything wrong to anyone but this shit still hurts me deep down, I'm so tired of being made to feel like this by my family.

Does anyone ever put you through any guilt trips?
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Old 14 Jul 2005, 12:10 PM   #2 (permalink)
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All the time from my mom. Everytime she calls me she puts me through this whole schpiel about how I never take my kids to see her and this and that...but she forgets to mention that I live in a different state, and I make regular trips to see the family and whatnot, but not once has she gotten off her ass to come and see me and my family. Then she starts blaming me for the fact that she was a drugged up alchoholic for the first 13 years of my life and eventually went to live with my dad to get away from her. Maybe I'm being 'cold hearted' because I think she is sincerely sorry for the way she's treated me, but she thinks that she can be all great to my kids to make up for lost time I guess.

It goes quite a bit deeper than that...but I'll stop for now..
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Old 14 Jul 2005, 12:26 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Carabiniere
All the time from my mom. Everytime she calls me she puts me through this whole schpiel about how I never take my kids to see her and this and that...but she forgets to mention that I live in a different state, and I make regular trips to see the family and whatnot, but not once has she gotten off her ass to come and see me and my family. Then she starts blaming me for the fact that she was a drugged up alchoholic for the first 13 years of my life and eventually went to live with my dad to get away from her. Maybe I'm being 'cold hearted' because I think she is sincerely sorry for the way she's treated me, but she thinks that she can be all great to my kids to make up for lost time I guess.

It goes quite a bit deeper than that...but I'll stop for now..
My family expects me to kiss my mom's ass because 23 years ago she decided to get knocked up.

They have flat out told me that I am to look past everything the bitch has ever done to me in my life because...

"That's your mother and YOU just have to ACCEPT her as she is and LOVE her regardless."

LOVE her...regardless of the fact that the cunt spent the majority of my teenage years pushing off every single one of her responsibilities off onto me. Everything from cleaning the house to raising my sister to paying the bills, yet at the same time as all this was going on she would constantly tell me I don't do shit to help her out around the house.

Add this to her flat out telling me that she WAS NOT going to be my mother anymore right after my parent's divorce because her and the rest of my family say I "sided against her" which is fucking BS! Hell...at that point I was trying VERY hard to be non-partial...it wasn't until the night she caused that scene with me that she really damaged our relationship. The night she told me she didn't care my dad was attempting suicide and said "just let the fucker die" was the night my mother completely died in my eyes...especially since she was the fucking catalyst for his suicidal tendencies and wouldn't comply with ONE fucking request from me(go away from the house she wasn't supposed to be in anyways) so I could get a better handle of the situation.

Shit man...today I didn't do SHIT wrong either. I just called my grandmother's because she left me a voicemail earlier this week. My mom picked up, I asked her if my grandmother was there, she said no and was talking to a few people in the background. Since I am at work I can't talk for long so I told her I had to get back to work and we hung up. Couple hours later my grandmother calls BITCHING me out because I am "such a mean fucking asshole" to her...all because I don't want to fucking talk for 20-40 minutes on the company phone.
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Old 14 Jul 2005, 12:35 PM   #4 (permalink)
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No...but I've a feeling I will in the not-too-distant future...
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Old 14 Jul 2005, 12:54 PM   #5 (permalink)
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My grandma and my brother both try to put me in a guilt trip...alot. Sometimes it works, somtimes it doesn't. 68% of the time it does.
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Old 14 Jul 2005, 01:05 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Oh my Dad does it to me all the time,it's what he's best at because it always works and I always end up feeling like shit after it all.A few years ago he would always bug me to live with him and I refused to do so,after I would tell him on the phone that I didn't want to live with him he said he understood,but as soon as he would pick me up for the weekend he would give me the biggest fucking guilt trip the entire drive to his house.

To this day he still does this to me,but not as much.
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Old 14 Jul 2005, 01:06 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Side Effect
My grandma and my brother both try to put me in a guilt trip...alot. Sometimes it works, somtimes it doesn't. 68% of the time it does.
How did you come up with the 68% figure?



It seems like my family try to make me feel guilty for not wanting anything to do with my brother. They all seem to think he's "not that bad" and get mad at me for disliking him. I don't feel guilty though, just pissed because he's such a dickhead and has somehow manipulated them into believing he isn't "that bad"
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Old 14 Jul 2005, 01:08 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by STICKzophrenic
How did you come up with the 68% figure?
Well its more than half the time...but less than 3/4 of the time.
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Old 14 Jul 2005, 04:00 PM   #9 (permalink)
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XeR0 you deserve better. That whole thing sucks ass. I can't possibly imagine. If that's how things are regularly then there's no reason to put up with that. It doesn't really seem like they have any kind of regard for you or your feelings, and that's just fucking wrong.

And you don't have to love anyone. Maybe if things hadn't gone as godawfully wrong as you described them, then you wouldn't need someone to say that you have to love her. IMO, you have to give love to get it in return and at the same time, while it's sometimes easy to give love without having gotten it, you can't just be shit upon for years and years and then be expected to just forget about that.

Family's family and it's one of the few things that people have that they can hold on to and know is there for them, but it's a two way street. When family stops acting like it, they stop being it. Had I been in your shoes, I'd have probably moved out of state, but that's just me.

It's like STICK said...You (> x 100) whoever is trying to make you feel like shit.

Late.
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Old 14 Jul 2005, 08:20 PM   #10 (permalink)
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wow after reading this thread makes me appreciate the fantastic relationship i share with all my family members. As for the guilt trip thing....my entire family has a major in the art. we spent most of the time trying it on each other
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Old 14 Jul 2005, 09:11 PM   #11 (permalink)
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When I was younger my dad would put me through them. One I remember most was that we had a disagreement about what high school I was gonna attend and what position for football I was gonna play.
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Old 14 Jul 2005, 09:19 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Damn Xero, your mother sounds like my father's first wife (not my mom). I'm sorry that your family members guilt trip you and force you to take sides

Thankfully, no one guilt trips me in my family so I'm fairly well off in that sense.
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Old 14 Jul 2005, 09:39 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by XeR0
My family expects me to kiss my mom's ass because 23 years ago she decided to get knocked up.

They have flat out told me that I am to look past everything the bitch has ever done to me in my life because...

"That's your mother and YOU just have to ACCEPT her as she is and LOVE her regardless."

LOVE her...regardless of the fact that the cunt spent the majority of my teenage years pushing off every single one of her responsibilities off onto me. Everything from cleaning the house to raising my sister to paying the bills, yet at the same time as all this was going on she would constantly tell me I don't do shit to help her out around the house.

Add this to her flat out telling me that she WAS NOT going to be my mother anymore right after my parent's divorce because her and the rest of my family say I "sided against her" which is fucking BS! Hell...at that point I was trying VERY hard to be non-partial...it wasn't until the night she caused that scene with me that she really damaged our relationship. The night she told me she didn't care my dad was attempting suicide and said "just let the fucker die" was the night my mother completely died in my eyes...especially since she was the fucking catalyst for his suicidal tendencies and wouldn't comply with ONE fucking request from me(go away from the house she wasn't supposed to be in anyways) so I could get a better handle of the situation.

Shit man...today I didn't do SHIT wrong either. I just called my grandmother's because she left me a voicemail earlier this week. My mom picked up, I asked her if my grandmother was there, she said no and was talking to a few people in the background. Since I am at work I can't talk for long so I told her I had to get back to work and we hung up. Couple hours later my grandmother calls BITCHING me out because I am "such a mean fucking asshole" to her...all because I don't want to fucking talk for 20-40 minutes on the company phone.
I feel strangly moved by that. You should siriously think about writing a book.

Me, bah, it happens a lot. I will be trying to get past all the fucked up things going on around me, then someone will have the ignorance to say some stupid thing to me, that will get my mind racing. It sucks.
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Old 14 Jul 2005, 11:48 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Speaking of guilt trips wheres Side Effect? I have a bone to pick with him.... again.
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Old 15 Jul 2005, 03:03 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Masque
Speaking of guilt trips wheres Side Effect? I have a bone to pick with him.... again.
Pardon?
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