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God damn you Mormons
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Old 19 May 2005, 12:39 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Angry God damn you Mormons

Dear all Mormons around the World...

Local Morons in my neighbour sure as Hell piss me off! Come to my house at 8 in the morning talking about God and Some sort of Divine Salvation if I join you, now I'm a traditional Christian but damn that didn't stop those nut bags from trying to convert me to Mormonism...

Look I'm tolerate, I'm like the Jesus fucking Christ of tolerance. I don't care what you do, what you believe, how you dress or who you bang. To Para-phase Salt 'n Pepa:

"If you want to take a guy,
Home with you tonight,
It's none of my business.
If you want to be a freak
and sell it on the Weekend,
Itís none of my business"

I just don't care. I don't mind who you worship, I donít mind where you do it, I don't care if you think Christ is the Messiah, I don't care if you think Christ is the anti-Christ, I don't care if you think YOU'RE the Messiah, I donít mind if you put on a orange robe, shave your head and join a friggin' suicide cult. Care Factor: Zero. It doesn't worry me, do whatever you want to do just don't knock on my door before Mid-day on Saturday, Don't do it....

Now listen up Mormons a lot of people would say you are a bunch of freaks, that you wear special underpants and worship some guy with "magic" glasses and that you're not proper Christians and in fact that you are a Cult that your theology compares to those the likes of Harry Potter and that Fucked up Stone...

But not me, I think you're fine...

You certainly don't make less sense then the Catholics, Muslims and Buddhists, However the Catholics don't come around bashing on my door on Saturday Morning, Neither do the Muslims or the Buddhists. Even the Salvation Army who rock up with their Trumpets, Bassoons, Tubas and Tamborine onsombles making more noise then Iron Maiden have the common decency to wait until after lunch. But thatís not for you Mormons, Youíre up bright and perky on Saturday morning after going to bed the night before at 7:30 after watching some Benji movie. Well I wasnít, maybe I was out living a little, maybe I was out until 5 in the morning drinking Vodka and Coke and dancing to crappy Euro-dance remixes of old 60ís songs. You didnít think about that did you Mormons? You didnít factor in Euro-dance in your plan to ring my bell at 8 in the morning. I donít remember that bit in the New Testament where Jesus says onto his FlockÖ

ďBlessed is the man who goes around banging on peopleís door at all hours of the morning for he is truly Jesusí little friend!Ē

Listen Mormons Iíve put up with your crap long enough considering you Mormons are so open to door-to-door belief pushing, maybe I should go over to Salt Lake City and go around trying to convert you freaks into Atheists at 8 in the morningÖ.
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Old 19 May 2005, 01:11 AM   #2 (permalink)
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LOL they stopped knocking on my door because I stopped answering and they must have spread the word around
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Old 19 May 2005, 01:17 AM   #3 (permalink)
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We've never had to deal with mormons areound here. Most likely becuase there aren't any, or any that would bother to knock at our appartment. still, that would suck for these guys to spread their religion around to you at 8 AM.
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Old 19 May 2005, 04:03 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Bless you and your irrational hatred of Mormons.....go forth and spread the word
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Old 19 May 2005, 05:10 AM   #5 (permalink)
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I feel for everyone, but you have to understand my thing with the Mormons. My great great grandfather was a pioneer on the Mormon Trail along side Brighim Young. You really think I want to have that as my big sin?
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Old 19 May 2005, 05:41 AM   #6 (permalink)
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There are a few around here. A couple of them came to my house to visit my roommate and they were nice as can be. I have no problem with them. We have Jahovahs Witnesses though that are very annoying at times. Always coming by to drop off pamphlets and wanting to talk with us about god. I have no problem talking about god - just don't try to convert me to your religion. I am christian also.
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Old 19 May 2005, 07:25 AM   #7 (permalink)
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When I was younger the Mormons would come to our house every Saturday morning for a while. Eventually I just sat there until they got the idea and went away. They would always make jackasses of themselves trying to get my attention because they could see me since you could see my living room from the outside at that time.
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Old 19 May 2005, 09:29 AM   #8 (permalink)
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I gave some mormon chick a preaching one time.

And I thought the ones who bitch early in the morning are Genova's witnesses.
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Old 19 May 2005, 09:33 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Next time, tell them your god is Satan, and then invite him in for a "cook out"
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Old 19 May 2005, 03:05 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mitch
Dear all Mormons around the World...

Local Morons in my neighbour sure as Hell piss me off! Come to my house at 8 in the morning talking about God and Some sort of Divine Salvation if I join you, now I'm a traditional Christian but damn that didn't stop those nut bags from trying to convert me to Mormonism...

Look I'm tolerate, I'm like the Jesus fucking Christ of tolerance. I don't care what you do, what you believe, how you dress or who you bang. To Para-phase Salt 'n Pepa:

"If you want to take a guy,
Home with you tonight,
It's none of my business.
If you want to be a freak
and sell it on the Weekend,
Itís none of my business"

I just don't care. I don't mind who you worship, I donít mind where you do it, I don't care if you think Christ is the Messiah, I don't care if you think Christ is the anti-Christ, I don't care if you think YOU'RE the Messiah, I donít mind if you put on a orange robe, shave your head and join a friggin' suicide cult. Care Factor: Zero. It doesn't worry me, do whatever you want to do just don't knock on my door before Mid-day on Saturday, Don't do it....

Now listen up Mormons a lot of people would say you are a bunch of freaks, that you wear special underpants and worship some guy with "magic" glasses and that you're not proper Christians and in fact that you are a Cult that your theology compares to those the likes of Harry Potter and that Fucked up Stone...

But not me, I think you're fine...

You certainly don't make less sense then the Catholics, Muslims and Buddhists, However the Catholics don't come around bashing on my door on Saturday Morning, Neither do the Muslims or the Buddhists. Even the Salvation Army who rock up with their Trumpets, Bassoons, Tubas and Tamborine onsombles making more noise then Iron Maiden have the common decency to wait until after lunch. But thatís not for you Mormons, Youíre up bright and perky on Saturday morning after going to bed the night before at 7:30 after watching some Benji movie. Well I wasnít, maybe I was out living a little, maybe I was out until 5 in the morning drinking Vodka and Coke and dancing to crappy Euro-dance remixes of old 60ís songs. You didnít think about that did you Mormons? You didnít factor in Euro-dance in your plan to ring my bell at 8 in the morning. I donít remember that bit in the New Testament where Jesus says onto his FlockÖ

ďBlessed is the man who goes around banging on peopleís door at all hours of the morning for he is truly Jesusí little friend!Ē

Listen Mormons Iíve put up with your crap long enough considering you Mormons are so open to door-to-door belief pushing, maybe I should go over to Salt Lake City and go around trying to convert you freaks into Atheists at 8 in the morningÖ.

i disagree with many of the mormons ways, but that post by you would drive me to the mormons if i had to chose between their mormonism and your "christianity"
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Old 19 May 2005, 03:30 PM   #11 (permalink)
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The Mormons are the only "organized" "religion" to tell me I'm going to hell.

Man, If only I had gotten my religious beliefs from a magical tablet that no one else can see....then my soul would be saved.
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Old 19 May 2005, 03:52 PM   #12 (permalink)
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I don't believe in organized religion. I believe in a God... but nothing else.

Did you get the code and stuff that I sent you, Kurt?
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Old 19 May 2005, 04:01 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mitch Hedberg
I don't believe in organized religion. I believe in a God... but nothing else.

Did you get the code and stuff that I sent you, Kurt?
yes I did Sammy, you da fuckin man
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Old 20 May 2005, 01:33 PM   #14 (permalink)
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All of my Portuguese side of the family are really pissed at the Mormon religion since my cousin and her husband are both mormon and she is not happy since she is bascially been forced to have children by the male dominated religion.
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Old 20 May 2005, 03:39 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kurt
yes I did Sammy, you da fuckin man
Yeah, I know.
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