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some classic quotes......funny stuff.....
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Old 25 Feb 2004, 04:34 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default some classic quotes......funny stuff.....

"I am the most loyal player money can buy."
-Don Sutton, Pitcher for the Los Angeles Dodgers, Houston Astros, Milwaukee Brewers, Oakland Athletics and California Angels

"Ninety percent of the game is half mental."
-Jim Wohford

"Always root for the winner. That way you won't be disappointed."
-Tug McGraw

"People think we make $3 million and $4 million a year. They don't realize that most of us only make $500,000."
-Pete Incaviglia, baseball player, 1990

"They shouldn't throw at me. I'm the father of five or six kids."
-Baseball player Tito Fuentes, after getting hit by a pitch.

"I'm a 4-wheel-drive pickup type of guy. So is my wife."
-Baseball player Mike Greenwell

"It's permanent, for now."
-Cincinnati Red Roberto Kelly, announcing his new name would be "Bobby."

------------------------------------------------------------

funny stuff.....
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Old 25 Feb 2004, 04:47 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oeo
"Ninety percent of the game is half mental."
-Jim Wohford
This one is in Madden 2004. And I always thought, "what a fucking idiot madden is, he says some stupid shit, but this is near the top, and it's on a video game I'm going to hear every week." So I'm a little suprised that he didn't say it first. Now I don't know what's worse, that it didn't come from madden, or that he thought it was a good quote to put in a game.
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Old 15 Apr 2004, 08:32 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Nick Saban , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Nick Saban , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Nick Saban , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Nick Saban , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Nick Saban , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Nick Saban , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Nick Saban , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Nick Saban , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Nick Saban , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Nick Saban , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Nick Saban , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.
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Quotes? Did you say quotes? I can see UT Tombstone 3 ready to kill me now because he knows I have a lot of people and quotes from them.

These all came from Will Rogers


The only real diplomacy ever performed by a diplomat is in deceiving their own peopleafter their dumbness has got them into a war.

The best doctor in the world is the Veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is thematter--he's got to just know.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

There is only one thing that can kill the movies, and that is education.

If you ever injected truth into politics you have no politics.

The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.

Everyone is ignorant only on different subjects.

I have a scheme for stopping war. It's this--no nation is allowed to enter a war till they have paid for the last one.

Asking Europe to disarm is like asking a man in Chicago to give up his life insurance.

If all politicians fished instead of spoke publicly, we would be at peace with the world.

The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.

An economist is a man that can tell you...what can happen under any given condition, and his guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's too.

All Wrigley had was an idea. He was the first man to discover that American jaws must wag. So why not give them something to wag against?

If we ever pass out as a great nation we ought to put on our tombstone, "America died from a delusion that she has moral leadership."

Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.

The only way to solve the traffic problems of the country is to pass a law that only
paid-for cars are allowed to use the highways. That would make traffic so scarce we could use the boulevards for children's playgrounds.

The budget is a mythical bean bag. Congress votes mythical bean into it, and then tries toreach in and pull real beans out.

Did you know there are over 3,000 miniature golf courses in the city of Los Angeles? Half of America is bent over.

In golf, what you do with your ball has nothing to do with what the other guy does with his ball. Its solitaire only quieter.

The short memories of the American voters is what keeps politicians in office.

Horses are smarter than people. Have you ever heard of a horse going broke betting on people?

It will take Americans two more wars to learn all the words to the national anthem.

Liberty is not as good in practice as it is in speech.

We can't all be heroes; some of us have to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.

The easiest job has to be vice president. All he does is wake up and say "How's the
president?"

Inflation? When Congress becomes 10% efficient; that's inflation.
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Old 15 Apr 2004, 08:45 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Toof , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Toof , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Toof , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Toof , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Toof , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Toof , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Toof , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Toof , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Toof , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Toof , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Toof , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.
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Quote:
The short memories of the American voters is what keeps politicians in office.
LOL this is so true no matter where.
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Old 15 Apr 2004, 10:06 AM   #5 (permalink)
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"Eighty percent of putts that are short don't go in." -Yogi Berra

"Golf is harder than baseball because golfers have to play their foul balls." -Sam Snead

And the funniest quote ever....

"I...never...touched...that woman." -William Jefferson Bubba Clinton

Late.
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Old 15 Apr 2004, 10:30 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Toof , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Toof , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Toof , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Toof , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Toof , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Toof , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Toof , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Toof , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Toof , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Toof , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Toof , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.
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Actually Glue it went like this.

I... did not.. had sexual relationships.. with that woman.

Yeah that is a true classic.
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Old 15 Apr 2004, 12:49 PM   #7 (permalink)
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I can't remember who said these, but...

"If winning doesn't matter, why do we keep score?"

And my favourite...

"Life is a sexually transmitted disease."

Thank you.

GJGR
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Old 16 Apr 2004, 10:41 AM   #8 (permalink)
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where did this thing come from?.....wow.....
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Old 16 Apr 2004, 01:41 PM   #9 (permalink)
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i see OEO was checking out the funniest quote sports page...anyways here is one skip caray said

"it's a partial sellout" while talking about the 6,000 paid attendance at Atlanta Fulton County Stadium that held well over 20000 people
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Old 17 Apr 2004, 07:52 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gary Jules
I can't remember who said these, but...

"If winning doesn't matter, why do we keep score?"



GJGR
I believe that was Vince Lombardi
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