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The Glue's Manifesto: interview...
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Old 05 May 2005, 07:27 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default The Glue's Manifesto: interview...

The Glue’s Manifesto
MOTM Exclusive: My interview with myself

I had been meaning to do this for a while, just not in this format. I’d wanted to just throw it down, you know…where I’m coming from politically. Not because I think I have anything particularly enlightening to say, rather it appears that my stances may sometimes seem ambiguous to those who shoot straight from the party line. I was going to just put it all in one of those 2 page dissertations that I used to post when I was new here, but then I got the idea from…another…forum…to do an interview. I figured if I interviewed myself, that would provide just enough lunacy to be both aloof and self-effacing at the same time. We’ll see if it works.

Well, it’s great to be here for the first and hopefully last time to deliver The Glue’s Manifesto. Sitting here with me is a mod who really needs to step up his game. He currently presides (with the help of other estimable mods) over Sports, Off-Topic, MOTM and Third Star From The Sun…which we should probably rename The Dog Pound…Ladies and Gentlemen I give you…The Glue!!

The Glue: Thanks for having me…wait, I’m a mod over at Third Star?!

TG: We’re calling it The Dog Pound tonight. And yes you are…it’s probably because it’s under the umbrella of Off Topic.

The Glue: Well, ain’t that some shit?!

TG: I guess. What’s one more forum for you to not moderate? Anyway, since the point of this is for you “clear up any ambiguity” about your position on politics…or “grandstand like a drama queen,” for those of us who speak English…what is your party affiliation?

The Glue: Hey, watch it sunshine. You ever see Fight Club?? Don’t think I’m above beating my own ass to shut you up if you keep talking trash. Going forward, I am a registered Conservative.

TG: That’s great there, cupcake. Why is it, in this day and age when MTV is recruiting for the Liberals and Hollywood is trying to push Socialism (they know who they are cough, cough Warren Beatty cough, cough), would you be a Conservative??

The Glue: Don’t ever call me cupcake again. Anyway, I’m a Conservative because unlike most people in America, I am able to formulate my own opinion and draw my own conclusions. I don’t rely on Kurt Loder or Madonna’s ex-boyfriend to tell me how it is or how it should be. I can sum up the majority of my political beliefs in four words: More Freedom, Less Government.

TG: Ahhhhh, by saying “unlike most people,” do you mean that everyone who leans politically to The Left is incapable of independent thought?

The Glue: Absolutely not. My youngest son’s godfather is probably the most staunch Liberal I’ve met who hasn’t gone Commie. He’s also very intelligent. I enjoy having political conversations with him, although we eventually just agree to disagree and then I get him a beer out of my fridge. We’re getting off topic here…this is going to be long enough as it is, so let’s get to steppin’.

TG: Okay, we’ll do the short version. So to paraphrase, he hates MTV, Kurt Loder and Warren Beatty and thinks too many Liberals have been brainwashed by the media. The Glue, everyone. So, Mr. Glue, I’ve checked your MOTM posts out and one day you seem as Republican as Ronald Reagan, and other days you seem moderate…you know like what you’re supposed to do in the forums.

The Glue: Allright, Turbo…first of all, I’m a mod over forums that rarely need any moderation. Secondly, my computer at home has more spyware on it than the cameras wired into your bathroom, so forgive me if I haven’t been able to post as much as I’d like to. Third…there are some things I come out in the middle on, I can’t help it.

TG: Okay well, let’s just see about that. Where do you stand on the Lightning Rod issue of the Electoral College?

The Glue: Wow. Well, for the last 13 or 14 years, I thought of the Electorate as an inside joke between myself and just a few others. I mean, I know there were other students in the room when I learned about it in what…11th or 12th grade, but noone seemed to have absorbed that material. I remember going to the poll and listening to people actually ask their friends who they’re voting for…like it even mattered. I figured that people just ignored the fact to serve their overinflated self worth. Then the Liberals couldn’t beat W in the Electorate either of the two chances they’ve had and suddenly everyone is in on my inside joke. Very sad…but the Electoral College works. My AP American Government teacher (God rest his soul) said that the Founding Fathers put that in there because they didn’t trust the decision making ability of the American Populace. Couple of hundred years later, I don’t trust those idiots, either. I mean come on…shows like American Idol, The Simple Life and The Apprentice are ratings phenomena. That doesn’t sound like an educated constituency to me.

TG: Ahh, touché. So what about the man himself, George W. Bush??

The Glue: I knew this was coming. Well, honestly I should first say that when I learned about the Electoral College, I started viewing the Presidency less as a political office and more as a sports team. In that viewset, my team has won both of the last two Super Bowls. Way to go, my guys!!

TG: Can you answer the question, please?? I’m sure many have stopped reading at this point. Looks like we may have to make this a two thread interview. Will that make the other mods angry??

The Glue: If it does, I can just merge it. Anyway to the question, Mr. Antsy Pants…W is a product of the system. In 1999, I was hoping that the Republicans would have the balls to nominate John McCain to be President. Then I read that before the field for the Republican Primary was even set, that W had raised over $90 Million towards his campaign. It was obvious at that point that he’d win the election. I mean, the ‘Pubs go where the money is, and to be quite honest, the only real candidate that year that was less electable than W was Al Gore…so 1+1=2. I was disappointed.

TG: So do you hate W, too??

The Glue: No…I feel bad for him. First of all, W is pretty much the personification of the American Dream right now. I mean despite his family ties, if he can become President, then so can you and I. Secondly, I don’t think he ever wanted to be President. However, when all that money gets behind a person with that kind of pedigree, he/she really doesn’t have much of a choice. I think the only decision that he’s made independently was to go to war, and I’m not even sure he’s the one who ultimately made that decision, but that would be true if that other guy…uhhh, Ron Larry is it?? The long faced guy from Massachusetts with no position on anything…if he’d been elected, it’d be the same thing. Elected officials generally feel no responsibility to the people once their campaign is over. At that time, they become indentured to the wills of those who contributed the big money to their campaign. Voters don’t matter to these people once the polls close. The fact that people fool themselves into thinking otherwise pisses me off. It’s ignorance at its best.

TG: So are you going to be pining for McCain in 2008?

The Glue: I don’t know. I mean if America actually wants a real war hero for a President, then he’s your guy. He isn’t some asshole who joined up simply to have that feather in his cap for when he eventually made a big run in politics, ala Ron Larry…fucking poser. He also isn’t some yayhoo who joined up just so he could smoke some of that good weed from Thailand…although it’s not like I don’t see eye to eye with W on that one. No, McCain is not only a war hero, he is the son of a war hero, and he’s one tough mother. I could go on and on about McCain, as his story is one of the more compelling ones out there, but you said we were up against it so I won’t carry on too much. I don't think it's realistic that he'd get the nomination though. The "right candidate" almost never gets nominated for President, IMO. You have to kiss too much ass for that.

TG: Okay and last question before we sign off and we probably will have to do this again sometime cupcake, but what do you think is wrong with the system? You’ve expressed a disenchantment with it previously; what in your estimation is the problem??

The Glue: Did you just call me cupcake again??

TG: Of course not. Hurry up.

The Glue: Oh, yeah. Well, the main problem is partisan bullshit. I know, everyone says that but noone means it. I certainly do, though. The system we have in America would work great if A) The Politicians worked together. When The Right and The Left get together, throw ideas up against the wall and see what sticks…the system works great. That hasn’t happened in 30 years, I think. B) If the Politicians actually worked. Case in point, Hillary Clinton, D-NY. Is she working for the betterment of New York State right now?? No, she’s working on her campaign in 2008 for the Presidency. I knew all along this is what would happen, that she’d use a Senate seat as a stepping stone. My fellow New Yorkers in all their Dumbfuck Liberal Glory are only too happy to let her walk all over them in her bid to lose in the 2008 election. Mindless fucking sheep will probably re-elect her into Senate no problem. Chuck Schumer, D-NY (one Senator who busts his ass for New York) probably hates her guts. And finally C) If Special Interest and Campaign Contributors didn’t hold the sway they do…if all of those things would happen, then the system wouldn’t be fucked up. Nearly none of them do…so it is.

TG: There you have it, Ladies and Gents…The Glue!! We’ll finish this up another time when there’s more of it. Till then, ta-taa.

The Glue: I told you not to call me cupcake again, bitch…


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Old 05 May 2005, 11:19 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I happen to enjoy American Idol....I consider myself edumacated.

Good read Glue....even tho your views usually clash with mine.

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