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Promo Thread for Holiday Havoc PPV
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Old 26 Dec 2007, 11:07 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Promo Thread for Holiday Havoc PPV

Promos are due by Thursday Jan. 3rd @ 11PM EST

Please note that that gives over a week from the time of the post.

card subject to change

World Title Match, with everyone barred from ringside
DC (c) vs. Judge

Tag Team Title Match
Jason & Josh w/Stacy (c) vs. Thugged Out

TV Title Cage Match
Unstoppable Force (c) vs. Crusher

Hardcore Title Match
Juice w/ Gritz N Gravy & The Guro Girls (c) vs. Cryptic

Handicap Match
Elix West w/ Jason Smith vs. Strictly Business

Singles Match
M Shadows vs. The Beast

Tag Team Cage Match
Freebird Express vs. Team Earthbound

Emporium Match
Deathshock vs. Alli Sabbah
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Old 26 Dec 2007, 07:44 PM   #2 (permalink)
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*The camera shows Chad Willard walking down the hallway of a hotel in Sydney Austrailia as knocks on a door,and waits until Jason answers it with Stacy hugging all over him*

Jason - What do you want Chad?

Chad - Mr Smith sent me here

Jason - For what? Are you his errand boy now or something?

Chad - He wanted me to make sure you got to the arena on time

Jason - Were always on time why wouldn't be late? How did he know what hotel we were staying in?

Chad - I don't know he doesn't tell me those things

Jason - I'll tell you what go wait out in the lobby for us...go get out of my face!

*He slams the door in Chad's face and Chad goes into the lobby and waits for what seems like an eternity,after about an hour of waiting Chad's cell phone goes off"

Chad - Hello? Yes Mr Smith I'm waiting for them right now

*Jason and Stacy walk up hugging and kissing on each other*

Jason - I love this new outfit you got me for christmas

Stacy - Of course sweetie...and I just love this new necklace and these diamond earrings

Jason - Anything for you

*They kiss as they walk up to Chad*

Jason - Who's that on the phone?

*Chad just continues talking and ignores him*

Stacy - Hello? He asked you a question

Jason - Gimme that!

*He grabs the phone away from Chad*

Jason - Is this Smith? Listen what's with you sending other people out to do your dirty work?

*Jason listens for moment for an answer*

Jason - You're always having people do your dirty work for you and you know why? Because you're a coward that's why and that's why tonight here in Australia Josh and I will once again be successfull in defending our tag team titles and show everyone why we are the best damn thing going in this company and we've proved it now by beating damn near every tag team you've thrown at us

*Jason pauses for a moment and listens some more*

Jason - After we get through with Thugged Out who are you going to throw at us next? Cryptic and Demon Alexander...oh what that's right Demon quit...Team Earthbound? We sent them crying home to their mommies...Strictly Business? We've humliated them so much it's lost all meaning...or what about that new tag team with those two dumb hicks who think they're still in the 80's?

Chad - The Freebird Express...I like those guys

Stacy - Shut up Chad

Jason - It doesn't matter what team you throw at us because we'll always come out victorious whether you like it or not and quite frankly we don't give a damn if you don't like it...you know we should've crippled you when we had the chance

*There's a click on the other line as Jason throws the phone back at Chad*

Jason - Coward hung up because he couldn't handle the truth

*They walk out of the hotel towards their limo with Chad following them*

Jason - Since you like being a messenger boy so much tell Mr Smith that he'll have to kill us before he takes the tag team titles away from us,because there is no way hell we'll giving them up so easily and Thugged Out will learn just that tonight after we go through them faster than ex-lax through your fat ass momma

*Chad trys to get in but gets pushed down as the door shuts and the limo drives off as the camera fades to black*
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Old 29 Dec 2007, 06:08 PM   #3 (permalink)
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*In front of a rebel flag stands the Freebird Express without Chad Willard, Gordy turns to Morton*

Gordy: Aww hell, let's just get this thing going.

*Morton turns to the camera man, who begins to count them down*

Morton: Beautiful Bobby here.

Gordy: And I'm Michael "SPF" Gordy, and we are the Freebird Express, and you know something Double B, we are going to get our first PPV match here in the IWO and I can't tell ya how excited I am.

Morton: I hear you baby, cause in Sydney, Australia, we goin to step inside a 20 foot high steel cage, and take on the former tag team champions.

Gordy: No doubt, that this should be a classic old school match.

Morton: Team Earthbound, you in fo some trouble this week. Last week we got a W on ya, but this week we mean business.

Gordy: The Express is here to stay and we plan on moving up in the rankings with a win this week. If we got to make a kid bleed to do it then so be it.

Morton: I tell ya what regardless we going to a have a rockin good time.

Gordy: So Ness, Jeff get ready cause tonight things are heatin up!

*Gordy and Morton walk off in separate directions.*

--------------------------

*Schmo and Public are seen walking down the streets of Australia*

Schmo: What a win last week, this was just what we needed.

Public: We got lucky Joseph. We lost our focus and we probally should have lost.

Schmo: Be a little more optimistic John.

Public: I can't. I have had it. Instead of competing for a tag team title, we are once again stuck in a handicap match. We are being thrown to the lions again in some sick attempt to get someone over, and I have had enough. I have had enough of this tag team, of this tie, of this name.

Schmo: Settle down John, just wait a damn minute.

*Public turns to face Schmo*

Public: For what? For what?

Schmo: Because we still have a chance. A little birdie let me in on a secret. We just have to go out and have fun tonight. In the end it will all be worth it.

Public: A little birdie, what the hell are you talking about?

*Schmo leans over and whispers something into Public's ear*

Public: Seriously?

*Schmo nods yes*

Public: Well then tonight let's go out there and bankrupt Mr. West!
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Old 30 Dec 2007, 05:53 PM   #4 (permalink)
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*In a bar somewhere in Sydney, Australia.*

*The Peaceful One is seen wearing a hippie designed Bape hoodie with his hood up as he sips away on a pint of...chocolate milk. The barman is serving other customers as Cryptic sips away on milk with a spiralled straw and grins down at the straw as the milk goes round and round the straw before hitting his mouth.

The barman watches Cryptic like "what the hell?" as Cryptic takes his sweet time with his pint of milk.*


Barman: Hey, mate, you trying to take the piss there mate or what? You've been on the same pint there for over a bleeding hour now and i'm gonna be needin' my glass back soon.

*Cryptic looks up and grins, before blowing bubbles with his milk.*

Cryptic: G'day, mate. Why all the ruckus? Is it really essential? 'tis a beautiful day and one should not rush on such a nice day. The milk you've served me is good, so good in fact one must savour the taste, though it is a little warm, but thats ok..

Barman: Warm?! Why if you hadn't been sitting on your arse sipping on the same bloody milk for the past hour it sure as hell wouldn't be bloody warm right about now.

*Cryptic smiles*

Cryptic: Do not worry, Mr. Barman, i am not insulting the service here, though it is a little dark in this bar, needs a little more light, some more windows to allow mother nature to influence the look of this place a little.

*Barman looks a little mad*

Barman: Why you?! Drink that milk now, before i shove it down your throat!!

*Cryptic looks a little stunned.*

Cryptic: Wha-wha-what was that?

*Suddenly a woman walks over to the bar and draws the attention of the Barman*

Barman: G'day, mam, what can i get ya?

Woman: I'll have a martini please with a little dash of malibu.

Barman: Comin' right up.

*Woman looks at Cryptic and begins to speak*

Woman: You're not from around here are ya?

*Cryptic looks at the woman and smiles*

Cryptic: No i'm not, i am from a place called Iowa which is located in America!

Woman: Interesting. So what brings you to Sydney?

*Cryptic stands up from his bar stall and looks a little focused.*

Cryptic: I Cryptic, your saviour, your shining light, your crocodile dundee, but without the wrinkles, The Peaceful One is here to claim back what is rightfully mine, to claim back what was once stolen from me...I am here to get back the IWO Hardcore title right here in Sydney, Australia at the IWO Holiday Havoc PPV!! I have arrived in Australia with a goal, no not a soccer goal, but an ambition to restore the peace BACK within the IWO Hardcore division...

*Cryptic removes his hood from his head and grins at the woman who watches on in fascination as she sips away on her martini.*

...a Hardcore division that is currently in the midst of darkness, a hardcore division that is currently ruled by a man that is simply incapable, a hardcore division ruled by a coward...ruled by SOMEONE WHO IS MENTALLY HANDICAPPED AND CAN'T SAY A SIMPLE WORD WITHOUT SOUNDING MIKE TYSON ON CRACK!!

*The woman spits out her drink and giggles.*

Tonight i drag the IWO Hardcore division out the darkness and into the light, tonight a new leader, a new idol shall be installed in place of that coward. A saviour that runs into the face of danger, instead of shying away and calling upon and meth addict and two fresh of the boat immigrants escorts, tonight i Cryptic shall become the new IWO Hardcore Champion and tonight i eliminate the fiend that has tainted the IWO's Hardcore division, tonight i shall eliminate...Juice. Speaking of which...

*Cryptic drinks up his milk and sits back down on his stall.*

Hello, Barman, any chance of some apple juice?

Barman: Sure, comin' right up, but you better not take an eternity drinking this one up, mate.

*Just then a kangaroo jumps through the window!!! Cryptic looks on a little startled with a dumbfounded look across his face.*

Woman: Oh, don't be startled, that happens now and then, this bar was just the unfortunate one. So anyway you aim to win a title at the IWO. My ex used to watch IWO, he watched it so much that he started to believe he was an actual wrestler and attempted to use some move called...urgh..i believe its called the Walls of Peace on my mother after an argument, he kept yelling that she wasn't peaceful after an argument and then just snapped. Left him soon afterwards and had him go get some help.

*Cryptic has a glum look on his face and attempts to grin, but is unable to.*

Cryptic: Blimey!! Seems like that guy is not very peaceful at all, bit too much whakey backey i see, one too many hits on the head. Speaking of which...

*Cryptic stands back up and grins*

Juice. You've held my belt for awhile now. You've kept it warm around your waist and have had your fun, kudos to you, Juice. Day by day, week by week...month by month, when you looked at the upcoming matches and never saw my name beside your own i'm sure you stood beside Gritzy "I roll dice, yay!!" 'n Gravy, held hands and thanked the Lord from above that fate had not pitted you against I, The Peaceful One, you felt that karma had skipped a beat and avoided you, well guess what, Juice? Karma caught up to you and tonight mother nature shall strike and she shall strike with full force upon your mentally challenged self, because Juice, you just ain't peaceful and if you ain't peaceful...

*Woman looks on like shes just found out something shocking...*

...YOU AIN'T NOTHING!!!

*Woman points at Cryptic with a "what the fuck" look slapped across her face*

Woman: What a minute you're...you're, the guy my ex boyfriend took after!! He must have copied your move!!!

*Cryptic shakes his head and has a sip of his apple juice before speaking once more...*

Cryptic: No, no, that wasn't me he took after. It was my former padawon Demon, yep it was him, not me.

*Camera fades as Cryptic sweet talks his way out of his uncomfortable situation*
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Old 31 Dec 2007, 05:19 PM   #5 (permalink)
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*The crowd goes crazy and is cheering loudly as DC heads towards the ring...he is dressed in wrestling gear and climbs through the ropes as the ref is already in the ring, the crowd is absolutely losing it as DC climbs one of the turnbuckles and raises his arm, to the delight of the crowd...just then the screen goes black, the camera pulls back and we see DC standing in front of a TV with the IWO World Title around his waist, he turns to the camera man as he removes his hand from the power switch*

DC: Follow me, I want to show you all something.

*DC walks out of his locker room door and turns to left down and begins to walk down a hallway with the camera man following him...DC goes about 15 feet before stopping at looking at a picture of himself wearing a championship belt*

DC: Ahhh, the good ole days. Back when the fans appreciated real wrestling. You see that Judge!

*DC points to the belt in the picture*

DC: That's right Pacific Heavyweight Champion...this picture was taken the last time I was here and the very same night I won that title....you see Judge, I'm no stranger to this area, and the fans...well as they video showed they love me!

*DC walks on down the hallway and comes upon the Holiday Havoc Banner*



DC: Look another picture of the greatest champion in the world....Kinda funny that I don't notice you on this poster Judge...Oh unless you got a second job as a drunk santa claus!

*DC begins to chuckle as he looks at the picture*

DC: Maybe that's your dad or something, I mean I can kind of see the family resemblence.

*DC walks a little further and turns a corner*

DC: By now Judge, you are probally watching and wondering just what the hell I am doing...well I am giving you a little preview...you see the tape was the first thing...it was the first thing you will learn before Holiday Havoc and that is the people of Australia love me...you see why those idiotic fans at the IWO Arena boo me, real fans around the world love me..just like these fans.

*DC walks through a curtain and is standing on the ramp looking down a stage to where the ring would be*

DC: The second thing you need to know Judge, is that this is no joke. You see all along you have been trying to accomplish something, and so far you have been unsuccessful...and what is your goal, well the goal that so many others before you have had, and that is to become the World Champion.

*DC walks towards one part of the stage and looks over the edge*

DC: You see Judge you had your chance, your chance to win this belt, and you failed, you failed to beat Corey Taylor so long ago. Then what happen, you got lost in the shuffle, you became an afterthought...But then Judge, then something happened...You see you came close to go over the edge!

*DC looks down at the floor below before moving back...he heads back to the middle of the stage*

DC: But then someone saved you...and that someone was me!

*DC starts heading down the ramp towards the empty spot where the ring would be*

DC: Judge you had the chance of a lifetime, just hang with me and you could go places...I gave you everything you could ask for..protection, the tv title, but no that wasn't good enough...no you had to get greedy, and by that you had to make the mistake of becoming a captain for Absolute Power...

*DC is now standing where the ring would be*

DC: You know Judge, you tried to beat me and you failed..much like how you do as TV Champ...you failed miserably...but it's okay, I understand...I understand your quest...you feel that me and you have never been in the ring one on one..and well maybe you are right...at least not for the world title...you feel that you have done something to earn this shot at the gold, but you haven't...no Judge, you haven't done a damn thing but get your ass handed to you for the past month...and for what, to step in the ring with me? The greatest champ the IWO has ever seen!

*DC takes the title from around his waist and looks at it*

DC: So many have tried, great champions have tried to beat me and in the end they all fell...take a look at your buddy Force, the TV champion, the guy that had a whole summer to get the belt from me and failed...or what about Corey Taylor, the guy that you helped win this title, when you interfered in our match...where is Taylor now? That's right, he got what was coming to him...but Judge, you have survived, you have survived the onslaught, and now you get me in the ring...no Thugged Out, no Wilma, no Juice, no outside interference...this is your chance to prove yourself, because you have the cards in your favor.

*DC puts the belt over his shoulder*

DC: Judge in a very short time you step into the ring with me...right here, in Sydney at the first PPV of the year. The start of 2008. You have the best chance to beat me, a chance that few others got...and Judge when you lose, because you will lose, then this will be your last chance at ever getting a world title shot...because Judge I have let you taste fame for the last time..I made you a star and once again I will prove that I am the greatest wrestler in the world, when I end your career in Sydney!

*DC lifts the belts up*

DC: Because believe me Judge, when our match is over, the one thing you are going to see is this belt being raised in the air just like this, with your sorry ass laying on the mat looking up at your worse nightmare...all your dreams will be crushed in an instant...Judge get ready because at Holiday Havoc, your dreams are ended in the dogpound!

*DC turns and walks away from the camera and heads back up the ramp as the camera fades out*
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Old 01 Jan 2008, 07:25 PM   #6 (permalink)
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(from now on mine and Shadows promos will both be posted by me, so both promo's will be in this next post)

--------------

**a montage of all the events between shock and shadows plays**

**on the montage the song "the hand that feeds" by NIN plays**

the video shows:

***week 1***

shadows debut to the IWO

shock running up the ramp after him and getting attacked

shock in the back getting checked by emt's

***week 2***

shadows interrupts shock again

shadows hits the ring

shock refuses to fight him and just walks away

***week 3***

shadows destroys shocks dressing room

shock still refuses to fight

**the music gets really soft as the promo of shadows disrespecting shock plays**

**music picks back up**

***week 4***

shadows beats up a midget shock

shock has had enough and destroys shadows**

***week 5***

shadows is getting beat down by sabbah's crew

shock makes the save

raises the chair to his shadows, but doesn't**

***week 6***

shock is getting beat down by juice thugged out and sabbah

shadows makes the save, clearing the ring

shock and shadows stand face to face and hug

raising they're arms together, the faction is born...

**the video cuts out and the arena goes black **

**the red spot lights roam only the left half of the arena**

**the blue spot lights roam the right half**

**"remedy" by seether booms through the arena**

**spot lights still roaming the crowd is going wile**

**the titontron plays an entrance video of shock and shandows mixed together as one**

**a loud reving sound can be heard and a huge hummer busts through the entrance curtain and ears it and a bunch of equipment down**

**shadows sticking his head out the window the fans go crazy once they see him**

**then everyone in the top left corner in the nose bleeds goes nuts as shock breaks the glass in one of the VIP box's**

**shock climbs out and jumps down into the crowd and makes his way to the ring**

**shadows gets out of the hummer and walks around the ring slapping hands with the fans in the front**

**shock stopping occasionally to do a taunt and slap a few hands**

**shock jumps over the guard rail and grabs a mic**

**shadows grabs a mic after shock**

**they both slide into the ring and hit the corners**

**shadows doing his signature number 1 sign and shock raising the steel pipe**

**the music cuts and the lights to back to normal**

shock:[COLOR="Black"]well well, i see you all approve of me and shadows new faction?COLOR]

shadows: trust me, once we take this motherfucker over, you wont regret bein behind us

after tonight..when JUDGE becomes your NEW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!.. me and shadows are on the job to make sure that DC and his little weasels thugged out and juice cant help him steal back that title.

tonight isn't only going to be the mark of a new era with judge taking the title, and shock and myself making sure DC never gets back on top..but tonight we've got out OWN BUSINESS TO HANDLE! like when shock destroys sabbah in an emporium fight!

**crowd pops**

sabbah...Ive been waiting oh so Long to get My hands on you, but every week it seems you manage to narrowly escape me, but that seems to be your plan every week..you seem to always run in with perfect timing after I'm already down, and run out when I'm up..you say its a mind game? i say its fear bitch! you see I'm not one your your regular opponents sabbah, its much harder to freak the mind of a psychopath. see your not playing the mind game with me at all..all i think of you, is a sad clown who likes to slap around men with his meat.


FAGGOT! FAGGOT, HES A FAGGOT!

seems that way doesn't it? you need to have your goons hold me down so you and slap me with you meat..i dont know if I'm more pissed or embarrassed by fueding with you.. on one hand id like to tear out your intestines, tie one end to a tree branch, the other to a tire, and swing around in my back Yard...but on the other hand i feel like having my name spoken in the same sentence with yous just puts me to shame..i dont want to be associated with a man who is obsessed with slapping other men with meat.. i mean how much respect am i gonna get from kicking the holy shit out of you? ill probably lose respect from beating you..oh shock beating the shit out of a man half his size, half his strength, who has no balls and cant pick up a victory to save his great grandmothers life.. hows that gonna look on my card? i feel like your a waste o my time, waste of my potential, and just a waste of my life, so after i destroy you tonight, i never want to hear from you, see you, hear about you, or even have to think of you, again.

oh shock, we forgot what i got in the trunk..

fuck, we did..go get em..

**shadows hops out of the ring and pops the trunk on the hummer, and out falls 4 of sabbahs goons, bloody and tied with, with dildos crazy glued to they're forehead**

see sabbah, now when they're kissin your ass, they can fuck it too, just how you like

**the crown erupts into laughter as all the goons squirm in embarrassment**

i dont know Matt...i think this is like a favor to sabbah, not really a dis-service..

**shock jumps out of the ring and goes over to shadows**

your Right... so lets just beat them some more..

**shock and shadows start to stomp on and kick all the goons until they stop squirming then get back in the ring**

alright, were running out of time here so lets just get this beat guy done and talked about... the beast..thats your name? the beast? how gay is that shit. i don't now you, so i dont know what to say honestly. all i can say is sorry for the beating i give you later..even though I'm not really sorry haha, I'm gunna love every minute of it.

**as shadows was talking a 5th goon made his way to ringside and untied all his buddies**

**all 4 of them run up the ramp and to the back to hide**

**the 5th goon climbs on the back bumper and jumps on the roof of the car**

who the fuck do you too losers thin you are!! shock, i cant want to see sabbah beat the living shit out of you tonight!!

**without hesitation, shock hops over the top rope onto the hood of the hummer and runs up the windshield across the top and spears te goon off e back of the hummer to the floor**


eesh!! hooly shit... uh...


**shadows does the classic porky pig out-tro from the classic looney tunes cartoons**

THATS ALL FOLKS!!

**remedy by seether hits and shock and shadows both leave**

*****break*****
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Old 02 Jan 2008, 02:59 AM   #7 (permalink)
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AlliSabbah presents his take on the true status of DeathShock and M. Shadows.

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Old 02 Jan 2008, 04:49 AM   #8 (permalink)
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**a camera is set up in the back and death shock is seen watching sabbahs homemade video on monitor**

shock:wow sabbah, you further proved what my entire promo was about, thank you. with your video you proved that all your thoughts and actions are driven by homo-erotic feelings. your just obsessed with man on man aren't you? is that why your in this business? i dont even feel comfortable fighting you, i fear your going to like it too much. after watching this video ladies and gentlemen, its proof that LLI sabbah is infact, a homo. he is a cock suckn splooge lovein bukkake feenin butt pirate! who the fuck do you think you are, Michael Jackson? ooohh dont worry boysss and girlssss, is a super-dee-duper super hero, and ill save the day acting out my fantasy's and slap other boyss with my favorite big stick of meat! hehe! you make me sick sabbah, you think thats the kind of shit that the fans and the corporate board directors find impressive? you think that will make a Mark for yourself as a superstar? making home videos of yourself and a bunch of gay fat bastards macking on each other? who were you trying to make look bad, me and my brother? or yourself, for having those types of thoughts and then even standing by and watching as you have a couple of queers act out your sick fantasy's? if thats your attempt to prove dominance over me, you might as well get your shit packed up, and drive your gay ass home back to Fabio, bust out the Vaseline, even though it clearly states FOR EXTERNAL USE ONLY, and get to a night of of only thing your good at, and take it like a champ. weather its me, splittin your skull and spillin your blood across the emporium, or Fabio, splittin your ass hole and spreadin blood across your clean sheets, either way...just wait and bleed, BITCH!
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Old 02 Jan 2008, 07:54 AM   #9 (permalink)
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AlliSabbah sitting in the Emporium relaxing when one of his security guards walks up to him and hand him a letter.

He spends some time reading it and then sets it down and chuckles while saying cheerfully.

"It appears that someone is a little bit angry with me. Immune to my mind games my ass!"
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Old 02 Jan 2008, 12:41 PM   #10 (permalink)
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*Josh Dionio is shown walking around Austrillia, checking out the sights*

Ah, feels great to be here. Too bad these pukes hate American soldiers. Meh, I guess the entire world is full of arrogant assholes who'll us the US for their freedom and bitch when we do. Kinda like Thugged Out. Seriously, all you do is run around as DC and Smith's bitches. Too bad you have to whore yourselves out. Well, tonight at Holiday Havoc, you two will be taken to the cleaners. Just because you beat me in a singles match doesn't mean you should get cocky, Stick. Now that the tag team titles are on the line, you better believe I'm not going to lose. Now, if you excuse me, I gotta find my lady for after the show. Humphh! Hey, watch where you're... going? April?

*Josh is bumped into by April Century who looks as shocked as him*

April: Yeah it's me, Josh. I heard your little promo. Guess you couldn't wait to get over me, huh?

Josh: You damn right. Hell you being a bitch when I came home or when we were in the locker room was hell. Thank God I got rid of you. Now leave me alone.

*Josh walks off as April looks like she's going to cry*
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Old 02 Jan 2008, 07:11 PM   #11 (permalink)
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*Thugged Out are having a party at the beach. The opera house can be seen in the background. There are sexy girls wearing little cargo shorts and bikini tops dancing and having a good time. There is some crocodile dundee looking dude cooking up some food. There are also some crazy aboriginal dancers doing some sort of fire dance around a massive fire pit. It looks like basically every single Australian cliche rolled up into one scene.

Exo: So, we finally all the way on the other side of the world.

Stick: Yep, we made it. Parked the jet. Picked up some ladies. Start a party.

Exo: Yo, my mate. Throw another shrimp on the barby, Oy!

Stick: Mayan, you sound like an ass.

Exo: I'm gonna bag me one of these sheila's, and maybe go ride around in a kangaroo or somt'in.

Stick: Nigga, you fucking crazy. Don't fuck this up. I'm been dreamin 'bout tapping a little outback ass all day. These bitches is hot.

Aussie Chick: G'day mate.

Stick: Ooh, and that sexy accent...Dayamn.

Exo: Yo baby, come on over here and have a little drink for a sec.

Aussie Chick: Oy.

*The chick rips open a can of Fosters and slams it, then she crushes the can on her head.

Stick: Well, they aint the classiest, but they likes to party. Yo, didn't that crocodile dundee bitch get stabbed out here by some fish?

Exo: What the fuck are you on about? That wasn't no Dundee shit, that was Steve "The Crocodile Hunter" Irwin.

Stick: That nigga was crazy. I seen him fucking with those things and I was like, Nigga, you gonna get killed one day.

Exo: Fuck with the bull and all that.

Stick: [steveirwinaccent] "Oy, Crickey mate! [/steveirwinaccent]

Exo: Now you sound like an ass...

Stick: You seen that Australian Football shit?

Exo: Yeah, it's aight. Better than that English Football bullshit. Don't know what they're thinking.

Stick: I bet we find J and J down under one of them scrums or whatever that shit was. Looks pretty gay to me. Figure they'd fit right in.

Exo: They prolly off on some butt safari. Or they at the Mel Gibson fan club museum or some shit like that.

Stick: Wait, what's that? I think that's them!

*A safari jeep comes bouncing up the beach and the sound of Men At Work can be heard fading in as the jeep gets closer.

Men at Work: "Do you come from a land down under? Where women glow and men plunder? Can't you hear, can't you hear the thunder? You better run, you better take cover."

*The jeep pulls up to the party and everyone, including the aboriginis turn and stare. The 2 midgets from last month hop out, except this time one is dressed up in army pants and the other is wearing a shirt that says "Pussy Whipped". That one is handcuffed to a deflated blow up doll.

Mini Jason: Hey, where's Chad.

Mini Josh: Hey, where's Chad.

Mini Jason: Hey, stop copying me.

Mini Josh: Hey, stop copying me.

Mini Jason: Hey, baby, you look cute.

Mini Josh: Hey, baby, you look cute.

Exo: Fuck man, this is worse than last time.

Stick: Too much sun maybe...

Mini Jason: Hey, um, I'm gonna make out with my girlfriend.

Mini Josh: Hey, um, I'm gonna make out with my girlfriend.

*Mini Jason begins to make out with the deflated blow up doll and rolls off the beach over a hill and into the water. Everyone looks perplexed. Of course, Mini Josh goes running after them.

Mini Josh: Hey, wait for me!

Exo: Weird. Aight, fuck it. Let's eat some koala burgers then head to the stadium. Got some shit to take care of fo sure.

Stick: Thas right bitches. J & J, We takin our belts back tonight boys. Sorry, but once agian, you bout to get Thugged Out.

*Thugged Out turn around and pick up some weird bottle as the camera fades

Exo: Vegemite. What the fuck is this?

Stick: I dunno man, I dunno...
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Old 02 Jan 2008, 08:49 PM   #12 (permalink)
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*camera shows a shot of a sunset. Then words slowly come up in the foreground to Dirty Window by Metallica. 'When there is crime in society, there is no justice.' -Plato. The words fade back into the sunset and then the camera changes to a shot of Judge climbing up a wall of some sort. We can just see his back and a deep voice over prepared earlier begins.*

History tells many stories. History teaches us many lessons. History brings in new eras. History is written....by the victors. At Holiday Havoc this will become abundantly clear, when the storied rivalry between the criminal DC and the righteous Judge, comes to a climax. The Judge will finally show DC that crime does not pay, and that truth and justice will always prevail. He is the law and he will be the one....to usher in...a new era. He will be...the next...World Heavyweight Champion.

*The deep voice over cuts out as Judge is still climbing the wall and we hear a voice over of Judge speaking come in.*

Judge: This is it. My moment. My time to shine. After what seems like an eternity I have finally earned my chance to challenge for DC's World Heavyweight Title...and I...will not...Lose.

You see DC, you might wonder what makes me different from all the challengers to that title you have had over your long reign, here in the IWO. Trust you to not understand what makes me different, trust your revisionist take on history to only include the beat downs I've received, and not the victories I have won.

You see I'm a changed man since a year or so ago when I took on Corey. Since that time I have done way more than simply get mugged by your goons. I have become a four time TV champion, and a one time former Hardcore Champion. I have been in some of the IWO's greatest matches, defending my titles. I have been in great Hardcore matches, great Tag Team matches, great singles matches, great 4 way matches and great specialty matches. I have learned to master all elements of the IWO, and only one thing remains, to capture your IWO World Heavyweight Gold. I will not be denied.

You see, I have studied history closely, and in doing so I have discovered all the things that I need to beat you, that your former challengers did not realize.

For Corey, it was an issue of patience and of perseverance. He simply could not keep up the intensity, he could not keep coming, he was broken by your merciless onslaught of paid goons and hired hookers. In the end, despite his best efforts, you wound up with the title. Well, I've proven my determination, my persistence, time and time again in the IWO. I have toiled away in the mid card winning title after title match, and constantly looking for ways to better myself, to prove myself, in the eyes of the commissioner, and earn that title shot. Now finally I have it. If I have been prepared to toil for so long yearning that title that sits so tightly around your smug waist, imagine how long I will be prepared toil now I am within its grasp, to get it from you, and keep it. I will not be denied, I will not give up, until that belt is around my waist.

Then there is Troy. His mistake was arrogance. Pride. He deep down believed that he was better than you. That the only reason you came out on top was because he got unlucky, because you managed to twist circumstances in your favor, and avoid the loss. I know better than that. You see I have wrestled you before for the TV title many months ago. I lost to you, then I ended up winning the title from you. I have seen how you wrestle. I know, that despite all the goons you hide behind, you are still one of the most talented guys on the roster. You don't use the goons because you can't win a match. You use them because you don't want to make the effort. You don't want to give these fans the classic title bouts they deserve. All you care about is keeping that belt around your waist. But that's not what a true champion should be about, and it won't be, after I take that title from you, here, in Australia.

Then there came Unstoppable Force. A man who tried nothing new and expected to make gains. As talented as he is, it was always the same thing. It was like he believed he was already the best. He was not willing to work as a team, he was not willing to try his hand at mastering different techniques, different ways of taking you out of your game. Whilst you were constantly master minding new schemes and ways of keeping him guessing. You simply out maneuvered him. Well that won't happen with me. See, week after week I have tried mastering new fields, new match types, new techniques. Every single week I have learned something new and that has allowed me to grow into one of the most diverse wrestlers you will ever encounter. I will succeed where Force has failed.

Now some people say that learning from history isn't enough. That I'm not compelling enough as a character to hold that IWO World Title, but you see, that's where they are wrong. I might not have some stupid gimmick whereby I go around shouting 'Seven' or walk around showing off two dollar whores, whilst talking gangster, like it accounts for anything in the ring. But I do have ability. Week in and week out I bring the thunder on the mike. I talk trash and then prove it gold when I back it up in the ring. See this isn't about gimmicks anymore. This is beyond that. This is about bringing prestige back to the IWO World Title. About bringing the Judge to the IWO World Title. When we step into the ring, it isn't about any dip shit gimmicks.

There won't be an idiot shouting 'Seven'. There won't be two gangsters singing about their devious adventures on the twelve days of Christmas. There won't be a guy with a speech impediment slapping around well respected celebrities. It won't be about who is going to the Dog Pound DC, cos I assure you, both of us are. You know what? It won't even be about answering my question. See I know what your gonna do when I come for you. Your going to fight like no tomorrow. You've beaten me before, a long time ago, and I've beaten you a long time ago. But that was then and this is now. Its about who has come the furthest, who has learned the most.

I truly believe that is me DC. Because whilst you have no doubt improved in the ring for a few months, recently you have been slacking. Hiding behind goons, and developing ring rust, and most importantly, developing arrogance and pride. Arrogance and pride not based on constant solid title defenses, but based upon what your goons have done for you. Well now, they are nowhere to be found. Now they are banned from ringside. Now, we see, who really is the better man. DC, you are about to receive your Final Sentence, and the Judge is about to rise to the top.

*As Judge says the line about rising to the top he climbs up onto the top of whatever he has been climbing as the shot zooms out. Judge stands up and turns around as the camera continues to zoom out.*

And I know, that the view from the top, will be....simply....

*Camera cuts to a video clip of all the Final Sentences Judge has delivered in the past, they run through the shot faster and faster and faster and then suddenly snap back to slow mo as we see Judge deliver a Final Sentence to DC. DC hits the floor and the shot goes black for a few seconds. Then the shot cuts back to Judge, who we finally see, is on top of Ayers Rock with his hands held high, looking out over the rock into the sunset.*

Judge: Unbelievable

*Shot fades out as we see the the sunset and the view out over the desolate Australian terrain through the eyes of Judge.*
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Old 02 Jan 2008, 09:00 PM   #13 (permalink)
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*A fan with backstage passes meets Elix West, and Jay Smith in the back*

Fan: Mr. West, Mr. West

Jay: Mr. Fresh, just by himself you'd be impressed. I mean damn look at this man, you guys should be on your knees for the man that is saving your favorite brand of wrestling.

Fan: Trust me, I am impressed by this monster's ability.

Jay: As you should be, now. Move on.

*West and Smith begin to walk*

Fan: But... But.... fuck I wanted to ask them something.

*West and Smith continue down the hallway*

Jay: You know tonight you were thrown into a 2 v 1 match at last second. Why is this, cause this team known as Strictly Business is breathing all the air of the big stars around here. Like yourself. These men belong in the back of the bus like my ancestors were forced to do, but unlike my ancestors they stood up for what was right, these two men you are facing tonight just take it in the ass until everything goes away. Well it's not going away tonight. Tonight you are going to take these guys off there seat and throw them off the bus. Now playa, you know your outnumbered, but them two combined don't even equal an eighth of you. Your the greatest superstar to come to the IWO, your the man that ended 2 careers, and are about to end 2 more tonight. I know, I know, there career's aren't on the line technically, but when they face you, it's always on the line. Now I want you to get out there, and make sure these two men become a part of that ring.

*West yells as him and Jay begin to walk to the stage*
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Old 02 Jan 2008, 09:42 PM   #14 (permalink)
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*The Tag Team Title match has just finished and the camera opens up to Marv Rome and Tater Inberg sat at the Announce table*

Rome - Welcome back Ladies and Gentleman and what an amazing match we just witnessed.

Inberg - It sure was and it will certainly be a hard one to follow but this particular match may just be the one to do that.

Rome - Ladies and Gentleman, next up is possibly the end to the epic rivalry between Unstoppable Force and Crusher. It has lasted months people and everyone has that question on their lips; Is tonight the night?

Inberg - That's right. Could tonight be the night that Crusher breaks his duck against Unstoppable Force?

Rome - And this week I spoke to the Man himself. I had a chance to sit down with Crusher and speak about his long, intense rivalry with Mike Thomas.

*The camera cuts to a room. The camera then turns to show Marv Rome who is sat in a chair*

Marv Rome - Hello Ladies and Gentleman, I am joined at this time by our Special Guest, Crusher.

*Camera cuts to Crusher who flashes a slight grin*

Crusher - Thanks Marv.

Marv Rome - Crusher, for the last few months you have been embroiled in a bitter feud with Unstoppable Force which has seen him go Undefeated against you. How has that felt?

Crusher - It hurts. There is no point lying about it all it has hurt me real bad. I mean, last week I picked up my first win in weeks against a lesser opponent. Where is the sense of accomplishment in that? I have fought tooth and nail to get to this point in my career and what has come of it? Huh? Nothing. I've turned into an upper card jobber. Just another guy to be thrown around by the Champions of this federation. I hate it but how do I change it? I have done everything within my power to beat him. I have gone out there every night and given it my all but still, it isn't good enough. I have faced him in his matches. I have faced him in my matches. Each time the outcome the same. I lose. What other options do I have? I mean this week I face him in a cage match. A match that prevents any outside intervention but why? During this whole feud there has been no intervention from anyone else. Why would there be? I mean, no one has any reason to attack either of us. We both have checkered pasts in this federation but each rivalry has been ended in the ring. It seems to me I'm just being put into another match I am bound to lose. For the enjoyment of who? The fans? No, the fans like a different outcome each week. The like rotation. Something new. Unexpected. I feel as if I am being fed to Force each week to keep the suits in the executive boxes happy. Non of them want to see what's real holding a championship. Look at the records. Each of my championship reigns have been no longer than 2 weeks long. I am being held down because the executives don't want to see someone who was once fighting it out on the streets. Fighting to survive. I didn't have a good upbringing and they don't want to see that. I made it clear from the start. I am no angel but people like DC, Force and Troy who had either privileged upbringings or whose upbringings are unclear are the big time players of this place. Why? Because that's what the suits want to see, Marv.

Marv Rome - That's a bit controversial Crusher but we won't dwell on it. You mentioned your match at Halloween Havoc. What are your opinions?

Crusher - Like I said. It's something to keep the prawns in the top tier happy. The people who don't have a clue what wrestling is all about. Here on a trip from work. Celebrating a successful fucking year. Good income. Great profits. A fantastic team effort so let's go have a glamorous night at the wrasslin' but what is this? A kid who was brought up by incapable parents? Slept in cars and had to fight for everything? Winning? Oh dear, we don't want to see this. Get me that Smith on the phone. I think we need words. No, it's not good for business. The investors. The directors. The Chairmen. The Board. All of that crap looking down on us in their business suits do not want to see what's really happening to kids out there on their shows. Let's keep it as artificial as possible guys. Let's show the people OUR superheros. As for the actual match. I look forward to it, like all my bouts with Force. Why? Because it is a test of my abilities. A way of asking myself, am I getting better? Each time the same answer, Yes, but not good enough. I enter this match as always. Confident but quietly cautious. I know the odds are stacked against me. I know the records say it is impossible. The fans doubt me. Force doubts me. The guys in the Locker Room doubt me. The backstage staff. The camera crew. The United Kingdom. Russia. Australia. The United States of America they all doubt me and you know what? I love it. What could possibly be better than winning a match and proving pretty much every wrestling fan in the entire universe wrong? Nothing. It's going to be rough. A steel cage, man, it's not forgiving. It will take you to the limits and being in there with Force will only make things worse but deep down inside I know I can win. I can be slammed, smashed, bloodied, brutalized and I will still sit back up and try and escape that cage. Too much is at stake tonight for me. I lose this and what have I done for the last two months of my career. Been thrown around and messed up by Force? No, tonight I prove it was all worth it and win the IWO TV Championship.

Marv Rome - What are your feelings towards Unstoppable Force?

Crusher - Mixed. On one hand the guy has proved without a doubt he deserves his spot. He deserves to wear that gold around his waste. He has beaten everyone there is to beat here in the IWO and yet he is still the same as when he started. He has never stopped. He has never stopped giving it all of his effort. He has never stopped giving it his all for everyone in the audience. He is without a doubt one of the most amazing wrestlers I have ever encountered in my life. A truly amazing athlete. Yet, at the same time I have a level of hate towards him. He has made my career look useless up to this point. He has made all my efforts look immature and mediocre. He has made the last few months of my life a living hell. I have lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling for hours on end wondering how he does it. Thinking so hard that it gets to me and I have to go and train to become bigger in the hope that I will one day beat him. Many nights I have spent without no sleep, which would probably explain my slump in performance, all just because of him. That Man I face tonight. Do I hate him? No. Do I admire him? No. I respect him and with respect comes a certain amount of dislike. I dislike him for the fact he puts down everyone around him because of his achievements. Sure, they are something to be proud of but when you can't respect another man for challenging you and have to put them down about their style, their looks and personality you show that beneath all the victories, championship reigns and unbeaten runs there is a small desperate man inside there covered over by a mass of muscle. Force, I respect you but with that respect I bring everything that goes with it.

Marv Rome - What does the TV Title mean to you?

Crusher - The ability to represent my weight class with honor. A way to show everyone that no matter how much you are put down, made fun of or doubted in your life you can do anything. If I pick up the victory tonight I will be able to take this title back to Brooklyn and show all the kids living in poverty that no matter how hard it gets, keep your eye on that goal, and you will achieve. It will mean I have finally beaten Unstoppable Force. Above all else, Marv, it will mean I can look back on what have been a terrible few months for my career and say "It was worth it".

Marv Rome - Crusher, any last words for Unstoppable Force before your match?

Crusher - Tonight, Force it's going to be no different from all the other times. You are going to get 110% Crusher. Non stop until the match ends. I will no quit. I will not back down and I will not lose. Tonight, Force you can hit the Unstoppable Drop and I will still get up. You see tonight, I have a point to prove. I have to show everyone here that the impossible is possible if you put enough time and effort into it. I have to prove to everyone upstairs that no matter how hard you try you cannot hold me down. I have to prove to myself that I am the best.

Marv Rome - Crusher, Thank You for your time.

Crusher - Thank You for the opportunity, Marv.

*We go back to ringside as Don Compass begins announcing the next match*
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Old 03 Jan 2008, 12:24 AM   #15 (permalink)
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The_One should go home and get his fuckin' shinebox.The_One should go home and get his fuckin' shinebox.The_One should go home and get his fuckin' shinebox.The_One should go home and get his fuckin' shinebox.The_One should go home and get his fuckin' shinebox.The_One should go home and get his fuckin' shinebox.The_One should go home and get his fuckin' shinebox.The_One should go home and get his fuckin' shinebox.The_One should go home and get his fuckin' shinebox.The_One should go home and get his fuckin' shinebox.The_One should go home and get his fuckin' shinebox.
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I'll have mine up tomorrow. Rough week.
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