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RLL Blood, Sweat, & Chairs - July 24, 2004 Results
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Old 25 Jul 2004, 09:28 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default RLL Blood, Sweat, & Chairs - July 24, 2004 Results

Before the show started, the heavens opened up above us and let out rain that went on and off for about most of the show. Well...they still did it. Who else would? Exactly.

Prior to the action, we were treated to the musical stylings of The Devil Tones, and after about ten to twenty minutes of music, the action started.

Chatch came out and walked to the ring with his donation cup...er...Gatorade bottle. He enters the ring and gives a solid promo which had people laughing like crazy. He talked about the impossible odds he would be up against in the twenty man battle royal as all of Team No Respect would be in it and how he would overcome them. He asks the crowd if they have ever had to fight a bum for a half eaten taco on the streets, which was by far the best thing said all night. Kudos, Chatch.

TNR then came out and completely beat down Chatch. Chatch did a really good job at selling that some people in masks fail to do. Yet again...kudos, Chatch. There was a huge "F*ck Canada" chant going for Spok Holly. What a team. These guys really know how to get a crowd riled up. Spok, Jive Nyce, and El Sucio each take turns speaking their minds. Some memorable moments would be Spok saying there is no NASCAR tonight, so go home. After a couple of minutes of a promo on the battle royal tonight and El Sucio's title match (which he promised victory of course), TNR leaves to the upset of all the female fans and we are treated to our first match.

"Stabbin" John Kickass Vs. Masked Jobber 23

The Masked Jobber idea has got to be one of the best ideas of the night. The crowd was so behind this Masked Jobber of Mexican descent, it can't even be explained by this two-bit journalist. Kickass starts off with tie ups into strong pushdowns to 23 two times. He then takes him into the corner and delivers monster punches. The highlight by far was the sternum punch that Kickass delivered. It looked more real than anything you would ever see in TNA or WWE right about now. Kickass then picks up Jobber and drops his face onto the turnbuckle, and Jobber was even more over at this point. The overwhelming support for 23 was mind blowing due to the fact that during squashes, unknowns are usually not cared for. Then again, this is not WWE. WWE would not wrestle in the open and rain and try half the crap these guys did. I digress. Kickass then delivered probably the most impact full clothesline I have ever seen. Think of JBL's Clothesline From Hell and increase it by about two Gs and you have this clothesline. Kickass then pins 23, but then does the classic routine of stopping the count as he is not done with the punishment yet. Good for us. Bad for 23. Surprisingly, 23 begins to get in some offense...for about two seconds. Kickass delivers a huge chokeslam that 23 did his best at selling. I swear, I have never seen anyone tuck his body in more to sell the height, it was incredible. Kickass then delivers a couple of huge moves like the Pump Handle Buster and Sidewalk Slam. He then does the classic cocky pin, yet instead of staying down for 3, 23 actually kicked out. You got to give props to 23 after this. Two seconds of offense in a 5 minute match so far, and he still kicks out? Good psychology by the two competitors. Kickass got pissed after and beat on 23 like Tommy Lee on Pamela when he was drunk. It was pure rage. After a couple of snapmares and a minute of a mounted punch combination, the ref signals for the bell and Kickass is announced the winner via beat down....or TKO by those confused.

Winner: "Stabbin" John Kickass

Star Wrestler: Masked Jobber 23

He was so over with the crowd and he just kept getting them behind him by his resilience. I mean, the crowd expected a typical squash, but after 23 kicked out, they got more than they expected.

After the match, a weird looking guy in a lab coat comes out. We are then told he is a scientist...duh, how did I miss that one? Anyway, he talks about how he always wanted to be a wrestler, but doesn't have the physique, so he made the perfect genetic wrestler: The Amazon! It was a solid promo by a really good manager in my eyes, and when The Amazon came out, people were shocked. Because of the character...and the mask. People commentated on how it was a cheap Shark Boy mask and other stuff, but Amazon was definitely over as a heel. The scientist had some green light in a tube that he used to control the Amazon. It was actually pretty funny and reminded people of Kamala and Undertaker's urn.

After this, Kamikaze Kid came out to a huge pop.

The Amazon Vs. Kamikaze Kid

Kamikaze started with a good bang, which was good as a lot of people expected a squash to put over the "monster." However, for the umpteenth time that night, they gave us what we didn't expect and gave the fan's their money's worth. Kamikaze did some pretty huge spots especially with a huge neck breaker and hurricarana that was timed right to the T. The Amazon then got a perfect Lou Thesz press onto Kamikaze which was really good as it shifted the balance in about a split second. Plus, it is always good to see old school moves in new school matches. A huge spinning neck breaker spot followed which surprised the crowd a lot. After some clubs to the back, Amazon gave Kamikaze a huge hurricarana to the outside which was by far one of the biggest surprises of the night. On the outside, they had little mats which were not big enough to take bumps on in my opinion, as one side would hit the mat, and the other would hit the concrete. They didn't care. They were there to entertain us no matter what. When Kamikaze finally got back in the ring, he fired back to Amazon with some sweet kicks, yet then Amazon responded with a modified Tarantula. A huge sit-out powerbomb followed, which was odd due to the size of these men, but it worked nonetheless. The Amazon then hit a huge clothesline, and kept the momentum going with the Claw! After getting out of it, Amazon headed to the outside for a suicide dive, but missed and hit the scientist instead. When the both got up, Kamikaze delivered a huge plancha to the both of them with the crowd's approval. When they finally get back in, the action resumes as normal. After Kamikaze hits a Double Ax Handle, Amazon starts to really fight back. After clotheslines, clubbing blows, and a huge airplane spin into the Claw, Amazon decided a moonsault was in order. Many people thought it was over at this point, but Kamikaze rolled out of the way. Man, Amazon hit the mat with such impact. Kamikaze then hit a massive Kamikaze Kick (or Enziguri) and then hit the Anti-Life Equation (modified Fisherman's Brainbuster) for the victory.

Winner: Kamikaze Kid

Star Wrestler: Kamikaze Kid

Kamikaze was amazing in this with his agility, emotion, and moves. He was literally one of the best of the night. Kamikaze showed ring psychology that rivaled legends of the past and knew just how to play the crowd.

Break Time! Don't worry. While they prepared for the next match, The Devil Tones performed for us yet again.

After this, we are surprised by the ring announcer letting two people in the ring. The guy talks on the mic for a while to his girlfriend and then proposes! Lots of "Say Yes" chants. Very sentimental. I need a moment...

Ok, I'm fine. Well, back to the show.

Horrorshow comes out to a huge cheer. Weird music choice, but oh well. Horrorshow delivers the best promo of the night. He first congrats the engaged couple, and then shifts attention to the last show. He said he went in with three other men, and walked out that massive steel cage the first ever RLL Champion. One of the best quotes was, he is here for us and he would die for us. Nice emotion by Horrorshow. We were then informed the match with El Sucio would be a No Disqualification match and he finished his promo by quoting Ric Flair's "To be the man." Excellent job that was very well received.

TNR then accompanies AKA to the ring and delivers a promo before his match. It was pretty much the same as their earlier promo, with more of an emphasis on Horrorshow losing the belt.

After this, That Guy Dave comes out to the biggest pop of the night. For those of you who don't know, the gimmick is just as it says: he is that guy Dave. This thing is so over with the crowd, you wouldn't believe it. Between his entrance, match, and his participation in the 20 Man Battle Royal, there were probably about 30 "THAT GUY DAVE" chants. WWE wishes they could get people over like him.

AKA Vs. That Guy Dave

It started with a couple missed attacks, which added to the drama a little, I suppose. Dave has some damn talent for being a guy from the crowd. He hit a pretty big facebuster at this point to the excitement of the crowd, but his offense didn't stay for long. AKA whipped him into the corner and gave him a classic turnbuckle beat down. However, he then whipped him into the other turnbuckle, and when AKA ran at him, Dave jumped up and went into a Sunset Flip which flowed really well and hit perfectly. After this, AKA got up to deliver a massive clothesline. At this point, AKA was on fire. Shoulder thrusts were followed by a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, followed by an Abdominal Stretch which was sold incredibly by Dave. While the ref was distracted, Spok Holly helped give him some leverage. It maybe a cliche heel move, but so is a lot of things in a match so shut up. After a missed clothesline, Dave finally got a quick school boy followed by a modified fallaway slam. After this while the ref was distracted, the classic heel beatdown began. Yes, yet again this is cliche, but hey, a lot of things in the world are, suck it up babies. After the beatdown, AKA got a huge tilt-a-whirl that ended in a scoop slam, which definitely surprised me as I thought it would end in a suplex. For those of you out there; yes, surprise is a good thing. Don't worry about ol' Dave; he didn't stay down long. The crowd wouldn't have let him. Dave got up, delivered an Atomic Drop (don't see much of those anymore), and followed with a clothesline. After this, there was a huge ref bump. A lot of times you see a ref get hit by a twig and he falls down and starts convulsing into selling. Not this time, fans. This ref bump was hardcore...and the ref looked like he was seriously out of it. Of course, the heels come in after this; but yet again, don't worry about ol' Dave. Chatch came in for vengeance on the beatdown from earlier, and he cleaned house and owned them like a two dollar pair of shoes...not that Chatch could afford that, but still. Chatch delivered a huge suplex to AKA, and then he got up to the top to deliver a Flying Body Press. As Chatch jumped, AKA scouted the move and jumped out the way and he hit Dave instead. Wow. You don't see that much, now do you? There was a definite "You f*cked up!" chant going around; and for the first time in wrestling history, it was because of the storyline, not a botched move. Anyway, AKA rolled up Dave for the win.

Winner: AKA

Star Wrestler: That Guy Dave

When you have a guy whose name is "That Guy Dave," you shouldn't expect much of him. I mean, he is supposedly from the crowd, and a lot of them are guys with beer guts who you wouldn't expect can go forty minutes; but damn if Dave doesn't! As I did with Chatch earlier, kudos, Dave.

Instead of a promo or interlude or whatever the hell you want to call it, we go right to the next match! Goody!

RLL Championship
Horrorshow (c) Vs. El Sucio

Before I start, I have to address Sucio. First of all, we all love to mock heel names, but damn, Sucio has got a good one. The "Sissy-ho" chants were galore, and sure, most might view that as cheap heat; but hey, whatever works, right? Sucio played the typical heel coward, but instead of just backing away, he had that face. You know the face of a five year old when you turn off the lights? That was Sucio. Anyway, they did two tie-ups, each with Sucio being the better by some cheap measure. Sucio kept doing shoulder blocks, but when you have a guy twice your weight, it isn't going to work, junior. A couple spinning head lock moves followed which got good reactions, but Horrorshow really picked up the offense with the next routine. It was a clothesline, revolving scoop slam, and then another clothesline. That was pretty cool because it was good psychology at that point. The crowd was behind him and he was just anticipating the next move. Good job, Horrorshow. After getting Horrorshow on the ground with a failed sunset flip, Sucio delivered a huge kick to his back. Man, that was a kick too. Sucio took up the offense and carried the match around at this point while Horrorshow sold pretty well. After about five moves, Sucio got to the top rope and delivered a massive missile dropkick. Man, when you get a smaller guy, you always expect something like a SSP or a Swanton, but to see a dropkick? Good surprise. I like surprises; by the way, did I tell you that? Anyway, Sucio pulled up Horrorshow and whipped him into one corner for some chops and then whipped him to the other one, however, Horrorshow countered. When Sucio got to the turnbuckle, he did the counter out of it, yet Horrorshow countered, flipped him, and delivered a sick Alabama Slam variation. Now, I have seen ROH guys do this and not have it look half as sick. After this, the highlight of the match and one of the night occurred. Horrorshow stepped over Sucio and started grabbing different parts, and when he was done, we had a Scorpion Death Lock. No, wait. Not just a Scorpion Death Lock. An elevated one. Now, a Scorpion Death Lock alone is pretty sweet looking and effective, but elevating it? Wrestling smarks around the world are probably drooling at this point. Suck it up boys; we got a little more to go. AKA jumped in the ring to attack Horrorshow, and he took him to the outside. At this point, all hell broke loose. A couple fans got closer to the ring to see and even though it was hard to see, you could definitely get the jist of it. While AKA and Horrorshow were brawling on the outside, Sucio attempted a suicide dive. Yes, I said attempted. Instead of hitting it, Horrorshow caught him and gave him a fallaway slam. Now, they were on the outside at this point. I would assume Horrorshow was standing on the mat, which meant that if he did a fallaway slam, Sucio hit concrete. I couldn't see, but that's a pretty astute observation; and I think I would be right in what the crowd said: Holy shit! Well, obviously it didn't hurt too much. Sucio got back up and even delivered a picture perfect Asai Moonsault. After this, I really couldn't see jack shit. AKA and Sucio ganged up on Horrorshow and while AKA had Horrorshow caught up, Sucio went to hit him with some "bling-bling." Well, Horrorshow ducked and then a sick combination happened. Horrorshow went into a snap suplex on Sucio and flowed like poetry into a fisherman's brainbuster. Good God man, how much can you take? The outside brawl continued for a while and they traveled deeper into the crowd, thus cutting off my vision completely; so of course, when you can't see the match, your eyes wander. And what do my eyes see? All of the sudden, I see a skinny Italian climbing up the roof and I think someone's kid got up there. When the person is finally on the roof, it's Sucio. Man, these guys don't hold anything back. Sucio delivered a flying body vault to Horrorshow to the crowd's approval. They finally made their way back to the ring which is good for this journalist's job. Sucio tossed in two chairs at this point. I personally thought he and AKA would do a con-chair-to, but it was probably better that they didn't. Sucio delivered a clothesline, followed by a Russian Leg Sweep. After this, a new stage of the match began: the springboard stage! Man, Sucio did so many springboards. Did he do the typical ones? No, he varied them and modified them. After the leg sweep, Sucio delivered a springboard leg drop. Yea, that's right. A Springboard Leg Drop! After this, Sucio went for a clothesline, but Horrorshow pulled him into a powerbomb reversal. Damn, that was exciting. After this, the second amazing submission came out. This one just can't be explained either, but the name is "Goliath Bird Eater." When you have a name like that, do you need to explain the move? Anyway, after that, Sucio hit a massive Nothern Lights Suplex pin and after the break, they got to the turnbuckle and the fun began. Now I expected a superplex, and I got it...just not in the fashion I would expect. Horrorshow climbed up there, put his hands around Sucio, wrapped his legs around the turnbuckle, and delivered a snap release Superplex. Amazing. Simply amazing. Sucio then delivered a sick chair shot, but it didn't faze Horrorshow much. Horrorshow picked up a chair, and completely wailed on Sucio with two massive chair shots. After this, Sucio stumbled around, but managed to hit a huge variation of the West Coast Pop onto Horrorshow, which was springboard number two for those counting. Now, what happened next was not for the weak of heart. Sucio got it in his mind that the third time was the charm and went for a springboard body vault, yet he only got the first part. After springing off the ropes, Horrorshow smacked his head with the steel chair harder than I have ever seen in my life. After stumbling around, both men got to their feet, and Horrorshow signaled for the mist, yet when he went to give it, Sucio ducked and the ref got the full gist of it. After this, Sucio hit his Sucio Driver (DVD) and then went for the 450. He hit it, but fatigue set in, and he almost missed. This is telling a story people. The desperation and lengths people will go for the title. That's telling a story. Well, Sucio didn't think that was enough, so let's add a massive leg drop! After covering him, he realized the ref was out so he went to go check on him. When he got back to Horrorshow, he was on his feet and there to deliver a huge Omega Effect (Fameasser variation). The fans started counting with the ref and despite everyone saying three, it didn't happen. Afterwards, offense went back and forth until Sucio finally decided to go flying again. Well this time, Horrorshow had it scouted and caught him with a spinning wheel kick in mid-air. After this, Sucio was able to gain control again and even got Horroshow fazed for about and got about 5 straight near falls. After arguing with the ref, Sucio turned right around and walked into the mist (red at this point) and then Horrorshow hit the Omega Effect for the win! Man, what a match.

Winner: Horrorshow, still RLL Champion

Star Wrestler: Definitely El Sucio

Why? Well, when you take all the bumps he did, it's the least I can do.

Finally, our last break occurred and the Octaine Saints played for us while I took a well deserved potty break.

About five minutes and one long potty break later; we are ready for the main event.

RLL Hardcore Championship
Twenty Man Battle Royal

I have to address something before we start. If you could only take a look at this belt, you could die happy. Most belts are boring with some weird design and wrestling pictures. Not this one. Most are relatively flat. Not this one. This one had chains all around it and a huge skull in the middle of it that sticks out about half a foot. Even more, the skull's eyes light up. That's intimidation for you. Even more, when you clock someone with the belt, there is no way you can fake a hit. Well anyway, this match was the main event and went for at least a half hour. Instead of going through the whole match like I did the rest of the matches, I think I will give the highlights. Why? Well, we are on page six at this point, and I like to keep stuff under twenty pages and plus, I may be good at jotting down notes, but not that good. Anyway, these were the entrants:
That Guy Dave, Chatch, AKA, Pizza Guy (Domino's, of course), El Sucio, Amazon, Spiderman (Tobey Maguire graciously made an appearance), "Stabbin" John Kickass, Chad, Jason (fresh off his feud with Freddy), Spok Holly, Jin Tanakawa, Masked Jobber 23, Darth Vader (he survived after all), Gwar, Kamikaze Kid, The Ring Announcer, and Jive Nyce.
There were a lot of memorable moments and lots of comedy. The pizza guy tried whacking people with the pizza box. Of course, this didn't faze the wrestlers at all. Sucio brought out a ladder about 5 minutes in, and man, did it play a huge part in the match. Yes, people you read right. Darth Vader, Jason, and Spiderman were all in this match. Darth Vader came out with a light saber and Spiderman sprayed web all over the crowd. Gwar was an interesting thing. Imagine the Road Warriors or the Legion of Doom with their shoulder pads. Now amplify that by ten, add some weird masks and a sledgehammer, and then take away the clothes (except a thong). That's Gwar. Yea, I thought the same. The most exciting part of the match was also the most disappointing. That Guy Dave was the clear cut favor, and my god, when he got eliminated; I thought there would be a riot. You guys have no idea how over Dave was. You hear all these old stories about actual riots or people fearing of one. I feared for some of the wrestlers in the ring after they eliminated Dave. Finally, it came down to Kamikaze Kid, Jive Nyce, Spok Holly, and Chatch. Honestly, I figured Spok to be the winner. Usually, feds split up the belts between heels and faces, and Jive isn't an active wrestler like Spok is. Well, it didn't play out the way I thought; and honestly, surprises are good. Did I mention that? Anyway, the TNR boys eliminated Kamikaze Kid, and it was Chatch versus TNR. Well, after about two minutes of back and forth action. Chatch finally got rid of Jive Nyce. After Spok checked on his fallen buddy, Chatch sprung at Spok and eliminated him for the title!

Winner: Chatch, new Richmond Lucha Libre Hardocre Champion

Star Wrestler: Spiderman

Instead of filming Spiderman 3, he comes down and returns to his roots. Yet instead of wrestling Randy Savage in a steel cage, he wrestles in a battle royal. Anyway, it was good for us.

After the show, the bands played more as the people packed it up. What a show man. In the rain, we saw an elevated scorpion death lock, springboard chair shot, genetic freak debut, hardcore battle royal, and so much more. Whoever missed the show certainly missed one of wrestling's greatest shows.
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