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NWA Wildside TV Report in depth
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Old 03 Mar 2004, 08:23 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default NWA Wildside TV Report in depth

Credit to Larry Goodman:

Steven Prazak and Dan "The Dragon" Wilson opened this week's thrilling installment of "the nation's number one pro wrestling alternative" with a quick capsule of last week's main event. The Texas Death Club (Todd Sexton & Masada) put the NWA Wildside Tag Team belts up against the former champions, those P and V guys called the Carolina Connection. TDC retained the titles thanks to the nefarious activities of the Urban Assault Squad. The plot thickens.

Wilson previewed the upcoming hour of mayhem. Onyx was set to defend the NWA Wildside Heavyweight Title (defense number five) against the challenge of Rudy Boy Gonzalez. Caprice Coleman would be putting the World TV Title on the line for the first time since winning it from Rainman. Urban Assault Squad was scheduled to face Murder One and Slim J, but that match was said to be in jeopardy after the backroom beatdown UAS put on the Slimster last week. And they finally came up with a monster truck match to go with Wilson's monster truck announcing style, The Dobbins Brothers vs. Iceberg and Tank.

(1) Jenny Taylor beat Krissy Vaine in 4:22. Wilson said Speedy Nelson was given the privilege of officiating this match due his difficulties in obtaining female contact outside the ring. The match opened with back and forth chain wrestling. Wilson said the number weren't there for a women's division, but if there were, Daizee Haze would be at the top. Taylor launched an offensive flurry with a Japanese armdrag. Taylor was on the verging on a cheeky wardrobe malfunction, as she drove the Vaine one out of the ring. Vaine appeared to be worried about her hair. Taylor fell for it and went after the hair. Vaine snapped Taylor's throat off the top rope. Back inside, Vaine used the hair mare takedown. Vaine got two with a scoop slam. Taylor did a nice Gibson Roll for a near fall. Vaine cut Taylor off with a clothesline. Vaine stood on Taylor's hair and tried to pull her arms out of their sockets. Prazak said Mae Young pioneered that move during the Lincoln administration. Vaine used a snap suplex for another two count. Taylor came back with a sunset flip, but Vaine was in the ropes. Vaine raked the eyes. Taylor reversed a whip and decked Vaine with a hard clothesline. Taylor grounded Vaine with an armdrag. Vaine switched it to a headscissors and Taylor escaped to a back cover. Vaine kicked out. Vaine hit a backbreaker and blatantly choked Taylor in frustration. "Women can be so ruthless, Steve." "Ahh, you obviously know my ex-wife," said Prazak. The finish looked stupid. Vaine walked past Nelson and stared into space, waiting for Taylor to roll her up.

COMMENTS: After four freaking years, Wildside finally has more than one good looking female on the roster. They hit some moves really well and lacked polish on in other spots, particularly the transitions. They're both coming back for Hardcore Hell to do what should be a heavenly three way with Haze. OVW women have nothing on that trio. Lucy got cut and retired (sigh). You can have Nikita and Jillian Hall. I haven't seen Venus, the new girl with the giant bazoobies. Alexis Laree...well, no complaints there.

(2) Tank & Iceberg beat The Dobbins Brothers (Chad & Jason with Al Getz) via DQ in 4:45. The commentators hoped the ring had been reinforced. This was worked as a tornado tag. Iceberg hit a corner clothesline on Chad and rammed him with a series of shoulder blocks. Jason leveled Tanks with the kick of death. They changed dance partners on the outside. Tank bit Chad's fingers. Iceberg bounced Jason's head off the apron. Chad choked the babyface behemoths with the camera cord. Tank halted Chad's forward progress with a nutshot and kicked him in the face. Back inside, the Dobbins took over. This was ugly. Tank made a comeback and whipped Jason into Chad. Iceberg collapsed the brothers with a stacked corner splash. Tank put Jason in the STF and Getz got on the apron to protest. Iceberg collared Getz. Bulldog Raines took advantage of the distraction to clock Tank with a chain. Ray Gordy stormed out to ringside. Gordy stooged off the interference, and ref Mike Posey reversed the decision. More brawling with all six men involved. Getz Enterprises made a painfully slow retreat to ringside. Tank got on the mic, only to find himself looking at the Dobbins Brother's back sides. The Dobbins were fixated on a deaf Lou Reed clone in the first row. Tank told them to turn their asses around. Tank said they were adding the son of legend to their side. He didn't give a damn if both teams kept adding until the whole roster was involved. "Before it's all over, all four of y'all will be licking our balls."

COMMENTS: The Dobbins Brothers slow ride off into the sunset commenced with this plodding brawl. Their brain dead handling of the postmatch was about as unprofessional as it gets. The good news: Iceberg, Tank and Gordy were reforming the alliance that originated in NAWA as the Extreme Freebirds. The bad news: they were still programmed with Dobbins Brothers.

(3) Caprice Coleman beat Don Juan to retain the NWA World TV Title in 5:37. Juan claimed his hair was pulled on an armdrag. A chain sequence lead to a swap of two counts, Juan with a legsweep and Coleman with a reverse sweep kick. Juan did his spastic dancing. Prazak said it looked like Juan was still suffering from that nasty muscular disorder. Coleman mesmerized Juan with his footwork and decked him with a straight right hand. Now that was funny. Hiptoss-armdrag-dropkick. Juan took big bumps and bailed. Juan stunned Coleman with a shoulder block through the ropes and hit a Jerry Lynn style slice legdrop. Juan got two with a hangman neckbreaker. Coleman reversed a whip with a spin scissors kick. Juan begged. Coleman rocked Juan with the Thrilla from Cornelia. Juan came back with a swinging neckbreaker for a two count. Coleman got near falls with a pair of northern lights suplexes. Juan's drop toehold left Coleman's throat resting on the middle rope. Juan charged. Coleman moved and Juan took an unconvincing crotch shot on the rope. From there, Coleman set out to destroy Juan's knee, forcing him to tap out with the Hyper X (figure four stump puller). Juan tried to get revenge, but Coleman smoked him with the Comatoser. Azrael clubbed Coleman from behind, with Bailey urging him on. Azrael hit a vertical suplex into a uranage, a killer move aptly named the Ted Bundy. Azrael was getting ready to torch Coleman, when Gabriel and Luke made the save. The commentators said they had seen enough of Azrael's impromptu barbecues in 2003.

COMMENTS: A routine title defense save the sweet dissection of Juan's knee. Coleman brought the stump puller variation out of mothballs for the finish. Juan wasn't at the top of his game, like he hadn't been wrestling as much during his time away from Wildside. Strong postmatch angle to set up a Coleman/Azrael program. Unfortunately, a subsequent injury to Coleman's back lead to a change in plans, at least for the time being.

(4) Murder One beat Urban Assault Squad (Shadow Jackson & Nemesis) via DQ in 6:08. What a set up. Murder One was all by his lonesome due to the injuries Slim J suffered at the hands of UAS in last week's backstage incident. UAS were licking their chops at the chance for another two on one beatdown. M-1 caught UAS with a Road Warrior Hawk style flying double clothesline. M-1's strategy became clear: throw one thug out of the ring and beat the bejezus out of the other one. At 1:10, Jackson grabbed M-1's as he climbed the ropes, and M-1 took a top rope slam ala Flair from Nemesis. Nemesis decked M-1 with an axe bomber
lariat. Prazak said UAS was all power and no finesse. UAS used quick tags to keep the heat on. M-1 fired back on Nemesis with chops and clubbing forearms. UAS beat M-1 down in their corner. M-1 sold big for a Nemesis hangman neckbreaker. Nemesis covered for a two count. Jackson stuck a back kick in M-1's groin while he calmly talked with ref Mike Posey. Lots of choking and gouging here. The commentary put across the storyline that M-1 had taken J under his wing because they had a lot in common. Wilson said that with all the adversity J has encountered in his young life, he could have just as easily ended behind bars like M-1. Back from commercial break, the UAS were putting the boots to M-1. Posey tried to put a stop to it, so Jackson tossed him through the ropes. UAS hit their finisher, a combination backdrop/powerslam called Something Fall That Ass. Nemesis made the three count for Jackson. The refs held Slim J back and Carolina Connection (Jeremy V and Brandon P) made the save. Tempers flared as UAS baited Carolina Connection. A brigade of refs had their hands full trying to keep the teams separated.

COMMENTS: By far the beat heat of the hour. Match had to be rebooked after J sliced the tip of his finger off in an accident. It worked well for what it was. M-1 brought the fire that the fighting-against-the-odds storyline needed. Nemesis is in desperate need of more flattering ring gear. The stuff between UAS and Carolina Connection came across well for building interest in their program.

(5) Onyx beat Rudy Boy Gonzalez to retain the NWA Wildside Heavyweight Title in 6:09. Gonzalez got perturbed by the Onyx chant and immediately started to brawl. The announce team put Gonzalez over for having a hand in the training of so many great talents. Onyx slid through Rudy Boy's legs and halted the attack with a dropkick. Onyx hit a snap suplex and hooked a leg for two. Onyx grabbed a waistlock. Gonzalez couldn't break it and Onyx switched to a full nelson. Gonzalez got both feet over the top rope and demanded a break. Onyx obliged. Gonzalez was seeing red. Gonzalez took hard bumps on a succession of legsweeps. Gonzalez looked like he slipped on banana peel on the last one. Onyx took Rudy Boy down with an arm drag. Gonzalez backed Onyx into the corner and sucker punched him on the break. Gonzalez worked Onyx over in the corner. Onyx reversed a whip and blasted Gonzalez with a lariat. Gonzalez decided to take a powder. Onyx battered Gonzalez at ringside. Gonzalez fired back. Onyx hoisted Gonzalez into a handstand on the apron and dropped him face first on the hardwood. Cool spot. Back inside, Onyx was in position for the Blackout, but Gonzalez shoved him off. Gonzalez went to work in the corner again. Onyx reversed a whip and charged. Gonzalez stepped aside. Onyx took the bump and got nailed by Rudy Boy's superkick. Delayed cover and Onyx managed to roll a shoulder. Scoop slam and Gonzalez slowly climbed the ropes. Onyx rolled away. Gonzalez kissed the canvas on a missed Vader bomb. Onyx sorta hit the Blackout (spinning implant DDT). Gonzalez kicked his legs but couldn't break the cradle.

COMMENTS: Rudy Boy was entertaining in the role. Nasty and funny and the guy can still bump. Match lacked for heat, most likely because Gonzalez wasn't viewed as a serious challenger. It wasn't given time to develop either, which basically sums up all the matches on this hour. The show finally kicked into high gear with the postmatch and promo that followed.

Abyss made his way towards the ring. The announcers freaked. Wilson said the monster formerly known as Justice, had suffered a mental breakdown. Abyss confronted Onyx in the middle of the ring, literally towering over the champion. Abyss goozled Onyx, but the Genetic Specimen blocked the choke bomb and fired back. Abyss laid Onyx out with the Black Hole slam. Out came Jeff G. Bailey. Abyss grabbed Bailey by the throat, but the sleazeball talked his way out of it. Bailey pointed at Onyx. Abyss hit a sitout torture rack backbreaker on Onyx. Referees and security guys crowded around the stricken champion. Bailey decided to send Abyss back into the ring for more. Abyss destroyed one of the security guys (wrestler Scott Starr) with another backbreaker. Bailey looked worried about his ability to control the masked psychopath.

The show closed with a great promo by Bailey and Abyss. Abyss provided a compelling visual focus, doing a classic B movie tortured monster. Bailey wanted Onyx's head on a stick. "Your life is an unfolding snuff film." Bailey said the irrefutable truth was that they had already won, that tonight's carnage was only a foreshadowing of what was to come. Bailey said Onyx could try to convince himself that he had beaten this man, but Justice was dead. Bailey said he would spare the horrific details of his transformation to Abyss (Puerto Rico must be an even tougher territory than I thought).

What has emerged is a monster of wickedness with an insatiable lust for blood, your blood, Onyx. And more importantly, he will return the NWA Wildside Heavyweight Title to the NWA Elite where it belongs. Next week, Onyx, Abyss will take everything from you. Next week Abyss. Onyx...Onyx...Onyx. He must die.

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