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NWA WildSide TV Report....
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Old 25 Feb 2004, 01:28 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default NWA WildSide TV Report....

2/24/2004 3:53:00 PM
NWA Wildside TV report

by Larry Goodman

Welcome to the seething cauldron of vice, violence and psychosis that we lovingly call NWA Wildside, the nation's number one pro wrestling alternative.

Steven Prazak and Dan "The Dragon" Wilson opened this week's show with their familiar review and preview segment. Wilson said that Onyx suffered a countout loss to Azrael in his NWA Wildside Heavyweight title defense last week. Referee Andrew Thomas rendered that decision despite some DQ worthy interference by Mikal Adryan. Prazak said this week's show featured the Texas Death Club defending their tag team titles against the former champions, Carolina Connection.

Urban Assault Squad was up to no good. Shadow Jackson told Nemesis that he knew where Slim J was hiding out. "Hey, Cameraman! Check this shit out." Jackson banged on the bathroom door and called out "room service" in a girlish falsetto. UAS burst into the room and shut the door. The viewers heard the sounds of J getting the hell beat out him. Jackson said there would be no tag match next week because they had taken care of Murder One's bitch. The camera moved in for a close up of J's body slumped in the corner. "Blue Cross, Blue Shield, BLEEP," said Jackson.

(1) Angel Dust & Seth Delay beat Fast Eddie & Salvatore Rinauro in 11:45. This started as an NWA Wildside Junior title match between Eddie and Dust, with Rinauro in Eddie's corner. Eddie wouldn't budge on Dust's shoulder tackle. Prazak said there was a 50 pound weight differential. Dust pulled his jersey off to reveal the stunning physique of a middle schooler. If at first you don't succeed, poke the SOB in the eye. Dust knocked Eddie on his ass. Leapfrog by Eddie. Dust with a spinning headscissors. Dust with chops and forearms. Dust landed in Eddie's arms on a springboard move. Not a good place to be. Eddie gave Dust a bowling shoe ugly shoulderbreaker for a two count. Eddie blindly (does he have a choice?) went for a quebrada and Dust kicked him squarely in the face. Dust kicked the crap out of Eddie's back and his basement dropkick to the face was good for a two count. Dust applied a standing octopus. Rinauro offered referee Andrew Thomas some payola. Dust stayed on the attack with a spinning headscissors for another two count. Dust applied a bow and arrow hold. Rinauro waved the money in front of Thomas again. Thomas stuffed the bills in his pocket and invited Rinauro into the ring to pound on Dust. Thomas declared that it was a tag match. Dust escaped the double team by sliding to the floor. Dust called for reinforcements and out came Delay. They cleared the rudos out of the ring. Rinauro took a sky high double backdrop in the process. Rinauro duped Eddie into being the one to face the music. Delay put Eddie in a Fujiwara armbar. Dust locked Rinauro into an Indian deathlock on his own partner. Contrived but at least it was different. Dust battered Rinauro, who countered with a back suplex, which only put more pressure on the deathlock. Eddie and Rinauro argued on the outside. Dust faked a dive and gave Eddie a back chop. Wilson said that if Eddie didn't wise up, they change his name to Special Eddie. Delay hit a beautiful full speed tope con giro. Commercial break. Dust charged into the corner. Rinauro vaulted to the apron and hit a springboard clothesline. Foot tag by Rinauro. The heels did a double punch that left Dust clutching at his chest. They got heat on Dust. Eddie strapped Dust across his back and flipped him over onto his face for a near fall (stolen from Danny Demanto?) Rinauro struggled with an off balance slingshot suplex. Cover and Dust managed to roll a shoulder. Rinauro missed on a springboard clothesline and Dust countered with a sitout DVD. Thomas's count reached six. Double tags. Delay pummeled Eddie with rights. Delay hit a snap huracanra in one corner and the Kool Krusher in the opposite corner. Rinauro had to break up the pin attempt. Rinauro hit the Phoenix Fury Legdrop on Delay but Thomas wouldn't count the pin because he wasn't legal. Dust hit top rope somersault ace crusher on Rinauro. Eddie destroyed Dust with the russian legsweep from hell. Delay caught Eddie with the Overnite Sensation for the three count. Dust retrieved the belt with the intention of presenting it to Delay, but Thomas snatched it away and returned it to Eddie. Thomas said that since it was a tag match, the title wasn't on the line.

COMMENTS: They leave no stone unturned when it comes to inventing new ways to screw Delay out of the junior title. Thomas heel ref bit schtick still cracks me up. The Rinauro/Eddie show was quite entertaining once again. It's gotten to the point where Eddie doesn't know how to have a bad match anymore. Angel Dust's work was fine. Just leave the shirt on.

(2) Altar Boy Luke & Gabriel beat Jay Fury & Nick Halen in 6 minutes. Opened with Halen and Gabriel doing chain wrestling. Gabriel's chain wrestling was strong as usual. Gabriel got two with a roll up. Fury and Luke squared off. Fury worked on the arm. Halen came off the top with an ax blow to the arm. Luke broke it up with a forearm shot to Halen's jaw. Luke did a nice duck under hammerlock and tagged. Gabriel came off the top with that wicked double stomp to Halen's back. Ninja double team. Gabriel hit a senton backsplash. Gabriel dropped Halen with a good punch. Halen reversed a whip and hit a leg lariat. Only good for a one count. Fury tagged in with the kick and punch. Fury did a delayed vertical suplex. Fury used a series of jabbing thrust kicks in the corner. Fury charged into a boot and this thing exploded. Fury ducked Gabriel's lariat with the Jaytrix. Gabriel blocked the Enzufury. Gabriel with a forearm. Fury fired away with kicks. Gabriel blocked a kick. Fury did a backflip to his feet and Gabriel leveled him with a roaring forearm. Yes~! Both men down. Double tags. Halen tried to come from the top, but Luke met him with a forearm. Halen reversed a whip and clotheslined Luke. Halen's dropkick connected. Luke reversed a whip and hit a lightning kick for a near fall. Luke used a DVD to set up the Halo. Right on the money, but Fury saved. Luke hit the Holy Driver on Fury. A stiff kick from Halen sent Luke to the outside. Halen went for a dive, but Gabriel cut him off and hit a slingshot senton. Gabriel destroyed Halen with the Cradle to the Grave (pumphandle torture rack into a sitout powerbomb). The ref said Gabriel wasn't the legal man. Luke hit a guillotine legdrop to end it fair and square.

COMMENTS: Good stuff. All four showed well. The punch Gabriel threw early in the match reminded me of what the old timers knew: one good one is a lot more effective than 10 that look like crap. The sequence between Gabriel and Fury was awesome. Wouldn't mind seeing them in a singles match somewhere down the road.

(3) Ray Gordy beat Jeff Lewis in 5:36. The announce team noted that Jacey North was in the crowd but must have gone to use the wonderful bathroom facilities (at least the building has indoor plumbing now). Lewis got a single leg takedown and tried to ride, but Gordy used a sitout escape. Gordy lit into Lewis with forearm shots. Gordy's offensive flurry built to a twisting fisherman suplex for a near fall. Gordy ate a boot to the face on the old telegraphed backdrop. Lewis dropped Gordy's skull across his knee. Lewis went on the attack, garnering two counts with a kneedrop and a rolling necksnap. Gordy used elbow shots to escape from a loosely applied chinlock, but Lewis ripped Gordy down to the mat and dropped an elbow for two. Coming out of the commercial break, Gordy hit an enzuigiri. Lewis went down face first. Gordy fired away with forearms. Gordy decked Lewis with a charging back elbow and climbed to the top. Swanton bomb! But Lewis grabbed the ropes. Gordy went up again. Lewis threw ref Rick Smith into the ropes to crotch Gordy. Lewis hit North's pet move, the Iconoclasm.

A masked man appeared at ringside, wearing the familiar Trojan condoms t-shirt. Wilson said it was El Delicioso. Prazak said he smelled etouffe. Lewis appeared to be highly upset by this turn of events. Gordy took advantage of the distraction to hit a german suplex with a bridge for the pin on Lewis. The masked man vanished into parts unknown. Lewis sold the german for a long time. Wilson said the "Feature Presentation" looked more like a matinee. The camera picked up North in the crowd laughing at Lewis. North did some major heckling as Lewis made his way to the back.

COMMENTS: This has turned into a good midcard storyline for comedy relief. There was nothing remarkable about the body of the match, but the finish and postmatch were hilarious. The bookers don't seem to have much for Gordy as a baby since he parted ways with Sal.

Lewis was pissed off backstage and said he didn't have much time to talk. "I've got places to see and people to do." Lewis said he had Gordy beaten in the middle of the ring when the masked man appeared. Lewis said he knew it was Jacey North and he was going to prove it.

Jeff G. Bailey was in the ring with the complete NWA Elite entourage. Bailey said that a new year meant new goals and bigger accomplishments. Bailey paused to welcome the return of "The Role Model" Jason Cross, calling him pro wrestling's most spectacular athlete. Bailey claimed that Onyx was walking around with Elite property. Bailey said there were four men in the ring that all held victories over Onyx. In fact, Azrael had beaten Onyx as recently as last week. Bailey promised that 2004 would be the year that "the Onyx problem" would be solved once and for all. Bailey said 2004 would also be Caprice Coleman's swan song as a pro wrestler. Bailey threatened to disfigure Coleman's pretty face. "When the Elite gets through with you, you are gonna be uglier than Kelly Osbourne, and that's ugly, let me tell you." Bailey admitted that his plan of beating Gabriel into the Elite had been unsuccessful. Instead, he was going to prove to Gabriel that his so called friends were manipulative deceivers. Talk about ironic. "It's time to send out the meat, so the Elite can prove, one more time, why we are the most exciting vulgar display since the outlawing of public hanging."

(4) The NWA Elite (Rainman & Jason Cross & Azrael & Mikal Adryan with Jeff G. Bailey) beat Drew the Don & Apollo & Nick Rampage & Skeeter Frost. This was supposed to be prime squash material, but there were some serious cooperation problems in this match. Only the last 30 seconds aired. Busta Rhymes, I mean Apollo, was straining for a tag, but the Elite pulled his teammates of the apron and beat the bejezus out of them. Cross hit THE BEST DAMN BRAINBUSTER IN NORTH AMERICA. Azrael viciously spiked Apollo with a Michinoku driver. Cross hit the Crossfire (Shooting Star Legdrop) for the pin, with Apollo wimping out and putting his arms up to block it. Adryan gave Apollo a postmatch Assisted Suicide for good measure.

(5) Texas Death Club (Todd Sexton & Masada) beat Carolina Connection (Jeremy V & Brandon P) to retain the NWA Wildside tag titles in 7:55. Wilson did champion style ring intros. TDC attacked the CC prior to the bell. Prazak said they were dumb to have turned their backs. CC did stereo whip reversals and TDC collided. The faces dumped Masada with a double clothesline. P was right behind him, courtesy of jumping knee to the kidneys from Sexton. V hit the VDT on Sexton. Masada pulled his partner out to regroup. Masada squared off with P. P with a crisp armdrag. Masada backed P into the corner and (surprise) refused to break cleanly. P planted Masada on the top turnbuckle and tried for a superplex. Masada blocked it and moonsaulted to his feet. Masada blocked a rolling reverse. P ducked a clothesline and hit a springboard leg lariat. P's follow up dropkick was good for a two count. Sexton took a bump off the apron as he tried to interfere. Masada made use of the diversion by nailing P with a powerslam for a two count. TDC doubled on P. Masada did a double stomp to the back of P's neck. Wilson hoped that P had access to South Carolina's finest chiropractor. Sexton used a northern lights with a bridge to gain a near fall. More double teaming, capped off by Sexton's enzuigiri. P tried to fight his way out of TDC's corner. P ducked Masada's clothesline from the apron, but no such luck on Sexton's dropkick. Sexton hit a slice n' dice style Bombs Away kneedrop. Masada covered for two. P countered Masada's tornado DDT attempt with an overhead suplex into the turnbuckles. Masada appeared to injure his ankle. Double tags. P hit the ring like a house of fire. The TDC were bumping bigtime for his flying forearms and VKOs. TDC finally overwhelmed V and set him up for a spike piledriver. P saved by whipping Masada into the corner to crotch Sexton. Masada took a double backdrop bump right on his tailbone. Tandem superplex on Sexton for a near fall. CC busted out a missile dropkick variation of the Aftershock (Future Shock's old finisher) on Sexton. Masada made the save. Masada blocked P's backslide and went for the Masadamizer. P escaped. V nailed Masada with a leg lariat. V blocked a superkick from Sexton. P decked Sexton with a flying bodyblock. A double dropkick took Masada out of the picture. P and V went up top for the Carolina Combo. Sexton rolled away from P's top rope elbow. V's 450 landed feet first on Sexton. Oops. V covered anyway, but Masada pulled ref Speedy Nelson out of the ring. Urban Assault Squad attacked V. V took a killer flip bump into the rail. Sexton used a reverse roll up to pin P with an assist from Masada.

COMMENTS: Intros like the one Wilson did for this match is one of the small details that make fake wrestling titles seem important. P sold well as the face in peril. The twists and turns leading to the finish were well laid out. This was one of Carolina Connection's best television matches except for the blown spot, which unfortunately, was a key moment in the contest. It appears that Carolina Connection are being moved out of the number one contender spot just as they are really gelling as a team.

credit: Observer
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