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Old 19 Jun 2005, 08:08 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Pwf Jackass 3:1



Featuring the posters of PWF:

Randy Orton
Hulk Hogan
Sam
Wanderer
O-E-O
STICK

And Starscream's ghost as "The Beaver".

Guest Starring too many to mention.
Episode 3:1 " PWF versus PEE DUBYA "


** Manhatten late one Sunday night OEO is driving the guys around town in the minivan **

Starcream : HOLY SHIT!!
OEO : What?
Stick : Crap is that what i think it is?
OEO : WHAT??
Randy Orton: The sign there it says " Dinner with Kevin Nash for the PW Nashmarks."
Happosai : STOP THE CAR!!!

** OEO hits the brakes and the guys pile out **

Wanderer : Keep the engine running OEO we'll be right back ** cracks knuckles **
Sam : HEY What about me?
Hulk Hogan : You stay in the glove compartment Sam you'll gay up the dinner with Nash.
Sam : OK.

** The guys run inside and for a few minutes loud shouts are heard along with the sounds of furniture being tossed around **

Kevin Nash : HEY YOU GET BACK HERE!!!
Randy : GUN IT OEO!!!
Wanderer : WAIT Happosai is still in there!!!

** Happosai comes running out and stops then turns to taunt Nash **

Happosai : We'll get you NEXT TIME Nash and your little quad too MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!!

** Happosai dives in then slams the door shut and OEO guns it leaving a long skid mark **


Kevin Nash : DAMMIT I SAID DON'T GO ANYWHERE!!! ALRIGHT I'LL SEE YOU PUNKS ON RAW TOMMORROW NIGHT AND KICK YOUR ASSES THERE!!!!

** the next night on WWE RAW **

JR : And if you've just joined us folks Kevin Nash is here in the broadcast location with us, and you can see the empty row of seats at ringside that are reserved for some PWF punks.
Kevin Nash : That's right JR and if they actually show up i'm gonna give them a beating to remember.
JR : Here's what happened to start it off...

** the titantron shows a video of the Nash Dinner with PW when the PWF guys come in and start trashing the place. Nash is yelling about his meal being ruined and the PWF crew is putting the PW Nashmarks thru tables and laying them out with steel chairs. Then they start spraypainting PWF all over the room.

Happosai : That's it men show them the what for... ooohhhh CROISSANTS!!!

** Happosai helps himself to Nash's food **

Kevin Nash : HEY THAT'S MY CROISSANT!!!

** the guys bail leaving Nash in his chair and everything wrecked **

Kevin Nash : You see JR that happened so fast I couldn't stop them.
JR : There was no anchor tied to your behind that lasted five minutes.
King : They ruined a FREE MEAL!!
Kevin Nash : Little bastard took MY CROISSANT!!
King : Well I don't think they'll....

** The ECW music starts playing and the crowd goes nuts **

King : WHAT THE Why is that playing??
JR : King I think they just showed up take a look.

** The PWF crew starts down the stairs single file led by Master Happosai walking down to ringside to the music. Behind him are Hulk Is Job!, Forgotten Sin, Stick, Wanderer, Edge'sBaby, Sodagirl, The Glue, Dogcatcher, Kurt Angle, Hulk Hogan, Starscream's Ghost, Sly As Hell, and Rebel. All of them are wearing trademark HIJ Productions / PWFJA shirts with thier names on them **

Stick : Hey where's OEO he was right behind us?
Sodagirl : Sam's gone too.
Wanderer : He's not gone, Stick stuffed him in a trash can out in the hallway so he wouldn't gay up our entrance.


** Everyone sits down at ringside as Coach comes to the ring **

Coach : Now we have the 2005 Raw Diva Search finalists.....

** Happosai's eyes go wide and he starts twitching as the women come to the ring **

Happosai : Pretty....Ladies....
Wanderer : UH OH.
HIJ : This is gonna be interesting.
Stick : Is he having a fit?
Sly As Hell : PISS BREAK!!
Rebel : Good one.
Happosai : PRETTY LADIES WOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOO!!!

** Happosai knocks over the event staff and chases the finalists around the ring, up the ramp and thru the back **

Coach : What the? I've NEVER seen anything like...

** Coach is stopped mid sentance as Sly and Rebel 3-D him thru a table that was in the ring and start kicking him and the crowd pops BIG! **

Wanderer : MASTER come back!
Sodagirl : Wonder where he went.

** Wanderer and Soda climb into the ring and Wanderer picks up the mic **

Wanderer : HELLO MADISON SQUARE GARDEN!!!

** the crowd pops loudly **

King : HEY LOOK JR!! It's Wanderer from PWF he's my hero. You know I LOVE the Other section..

** King is interrupted by Christy's music who comes dancing to the ring **

Soda : Hey SONNY!!!

** Soda waves a box of Cocoa Puffs at Christy **

Christy : YAHOOOOO I'M CUKOO FOR COCOA PUFF.... *** WHAM!!!**

** Soda belts Christy with a brick that was in her purse and starts pounding her head on the ramp and the crowd goes wild **

Wanderer : Master Happosai come back..

** Mohammed Hassan's music hits and he comes out the curtain with Divari **

Sin : PRAISE ALLAH!!!

** Everyone stares at Sin **

Sin : What?

** Suddenly Chris Masters comes out of the crowd into the ring and puts Wanderer into the Masterlock **

King : OH MY GOD!! JR Hold the fort!!

** Jerry lawler puts his headphones down and runs to the ring while Dogcatcher, The Glue, and Kurt Angle start beating down Divari **

Wanderer : Help!!!

Happosai : WHATTA HAUL WHATTA HAUL!!!

** Happosai runs down the ramp carrying a full sack of stolen womens' unmentionables and hops into the ring and WHAPS Chris Masters with it as Muhammed gets a Piledriver from the King! Divari gets his feet caught on Muhammed's Turban and gets a Magic carpet ride to the outside **

Happosai : I'll teach you to touch my disciple!!!

** He dumps the bras and panties on the trio and the Divas come running out and stomp mudholes in Masters, Hassan, and Divari **

** A bit later Lita and Edge come down the ramp and Edge'sBaby cuts them off**

EB : Edge you don't want HIM!! You want ME!!
Edge : That's my wife young lady.
EB : Yeah well my boobs are REAL and I don't have MISTER WINKY!!!

** EB shoves over Lita and pulls her skirt off and a big bulge is seen up the crack of Lita's ass... Edge takes a step back and HURLS, Backstage Snitsky HURLS**

** meanwhile at Matt Hardy's home he is watching Raw chanting " YOU SCREWED MATT!! Then he sees the bulge and HURLS!!! **

EB : Now that i think about it...who knows what the bitch gave you. I'm no longer interested.

** EB kicks Edge in the nuts hard and the whole crowd goes OOOOHHH!!!! then returns to her seat **

Jr : Wow i'm glad i'm not Edge.
King : Me too JR that looked painful.
Kevin Nash : I almost tore my quad just watching that.

** Triple H comes to the ring and starts a LONG ASS Promo which starts putting people to sleep Sin can't take it anymore and he rushes to the ring and grabs the mic from HHH **

Sin : Would you please... SHUT THE HELL UP?????!!!!
HHH : Why you!!!
Sin : Look behind you.

** HHH turns around and is greeted by a thunderous chairshot to the head by Hulk Is Job! ** WHAPPP!!!!! Then he gets Pedigreed on the dented chair as well **

Kevin Nash : I gotta help Hunter...

** Nash gets up and hobbles to the ring as the whole PWF crew gets in the ring and is stomping away at HHH when suddenly.. **

JR : OH MAH GAWD IT'S A SLOBBERKNOCKER!!! LOOK AT THE CARNAGE!! IT'S A CAR WRECK!!!!!

** Nash hobbles to the ring as someone dressed like Sting rappels down from the rafters behind him, The crowd goes berserk **

OEO : WOOOOOOOO!!!

** OEO nails Nash in the quad with a baseball bat then puts him in the scorpion death lock on the ramp. Nash taps out on the steel as HIJ spraypaints PWF on HHH in the ring and the program goes off the air with the PWF crew holding a PWF banner on the side of the ring. **
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Old 19 Jun 2005, 08:20 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Damn that was awesome. Probably one of the funniest things I have read yet.
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Old 19 Jun 2005, 08:21 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Funny as hell and hell had to get funnier for the comparison.
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Old 19 Jun 2005, 08:30 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Great Work HIJ . Very funny.
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Old 19 Jun 2005, 10:31 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HULK IS JOB!
Kevin Nash : I almost tore my quad just watching that.
lmfao best... line... ever
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Old 19 Jun 2005, 11:27 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Very good stuff HIJ. it's good to see this stuff back. and the fact i was even mentioned made it better, but i'm just an egomaniac.
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Old 19 Jun 2005, 12:14 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Holy Shit...that was fucking funny....work of art right there
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Old 19 Jun 2005, 07:15 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Nick Saban , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Nick Saban , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Nick Saban , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Nick Saban , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Nick Saban , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Nick Saban , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Nick Saban , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Nick Saban , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Nick Saban , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Nick Saban , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Nick Saban , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Forgotten Sin
Very good stuff HIJ. it's good to see this stuff back. and the fact i was even mentioned made it better, but i'm just an egomaniac.
Strange, I'm glad I'm never metioned in here.
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Old 19 Jun 2005, 11:14 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Popeaux
Strange, I'm glad I'm never metioned in here.
Seriously, do you post just to see your name?
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Old 19 Jun 2005, 11:27 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Popeaux
Strange, I'm glad I'm never metioned in here.
What's 'metioned'?





***EDIT***

Good stuff HIJ. That was pretty funny

Last edited by STICK; 19 Jun 2005 at 11:29 PM.
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Old 20 Jun 2005, 01:31 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Good read, very funny stuff.
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Old 20 Jun 2005, 01:44 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Totally Tripendicular.

Late.
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Old 20 Jun 2005, 02:09 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Toof , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Toof , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Toof , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Toof , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Toof , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Toof , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Toof , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Toof , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Toof , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Toof , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Toof , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.
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Ah yess HIJ one of your best works.
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Old 20 Jun 2005, 07:45 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris
Seriously, do you post just to see your name?
I tried it once, it didn't work very well.
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