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Old 18 Jun 2005, 12:23 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Pwf Jackass The Movie



This film is not yet rated.


HIJ PRODUCTIONS IN CONJUNCTION WITH PWF FILMS PRESENTS...


PWF JACKASS THE MOVIE


** It is a stormy night and the dreams of a few are troubled **


Kermit the Frog : It's The Muppet Show with special guest, Ozzy Osborne!!
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY!!!!!
Happosai : Oh no you don't HAPPO FIRE BURST!!! ** BOOM!!**
Miss Piggy : KERMIE!!! I'll teach you HIIIIYAAA!!

** Happosai easily blocks the blow and moves in **

Happosai : HELLO LADIE!!!
Piggy : AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!
Stick: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

** Stick wakes up profusiosly sweating **

Stick : Oh man what a horrid dream... huh this isn't my room..

** Stick looks around at the pink walls and gay looking Webster bedspread **

Stick : OH MY GOD THIS IS SAM'S ROOM!!!!!

** A loud scream is heard through the building **

Tourettes Guy : WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT??!! DAMMIT!! HOLY SHIT!!

** The inmates of the mental institution all scream with Stick **

Kelly Osborne : C'mon Wanderer you KNOW you want this...
Wanderer : No... must not look...if only I could reach my utility belt.
Kelly : Let's post ME in the other section!!

** Kelly strips naked **

Wanderer: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

** Wanderer wakes up sweating and looks around and sees he's still in his room. **

Wanderer: Whew only a dream ...what a horrid dream.
Happosai : It wasn't just a dream disciple.
Wanderer: MASTER? What do you mean?
Happosai : That dream is a bad omen something bad is happening I can sense it.

** Happosai lights his pipe and blows out some smoke which takes the form of frilly panties and he ponders **

OEO : Sam? SAM??!!!
Randy Orton : Give it up OEO we haven't seen him in a week.
Hulk Hogan : Think he was kidnapped Brother?
OEO : Again? Wonder what they'll demand to not give him back this time.
Starscream : Are you bitches done fooling around yet?
Randy : Star we can't find Sam.
Starscream : Pshaw sam has been here the whole time.

** Starscream points to Sam's stunt double/understudy **

Sam: HEE HEE!! I'm right here guy. Now where's that Sin kid i'de like to read him a bedtime story.
OEO : What the?
Hulk : DUDE it's ...
Randy : The King of Pop.. a woody.
Tourettes Guy : HOLY SHIT!!!! It's MICHAEL FUCKING JACKSON!!!
Sam : Guy no way i'm Sam.
Tourettes Guy : I'de like to see you walk a mile.. IN MY SHIT!!!!
Randy : How'de he get here?
Stick : He followed me... how the fuck did I wake up in Sam's bed?
Sam : HEE HEE!!!
Stick : DAMMIT SAM this is the last straw you tried to gay ME up!!!

** Meanwhile thousands of miles away in a monestary **

Monk : We've had ENOUGH!!! You're gaying the place up OUT WITH YOU!!!!

** the real Sam is thrown out the door and it slams shut behind him **

Sam : But i've not reached enlightenment yet!!
Monks : GO AWAYAND NEVER RETURN!!!!
Sam : OK I know when i'm not wanted...

** Sam walks down the mountain trail and suddenly realizes.. **

Sam : I'm lost...
Darth David : Saaaammmm.. Saaaammm...
Sam : You're my father?
Darth : GOD NO I HOPE NOT!
Sam : Do you want me to join the dark side?
Darth : Dammit Sam even YOU would not dare gay up the dark side.
Sam : Well what do you want then?

** Darth David raises his lightsaber and points it at Sam **

Sam : CRAP!
Darth : Saaamm do you have 8 D Cell Batteries on you? Mine went dead.

** The next morning OEO's house **

OEO : Ah mail is here let's see...
Happosai : Here let me.. bill, bill, summons, HELLO what's this.
Hulk : Woah Brother you've inherited a castle in England.
Star : HA Bitchin..huh?
Wanderer : What's the matter Star?

** Starscream floats outside slowly and looks up and the clouds part **

GOD : STARSCREAM........ STARSCREAM.
Star: You want me to find the Holy Grail?
God: No I lost my contact lens I want you to find that.
Randy : That's all?
God : Just kidding... Starscream there is a great disturbance in...
Stick : THE FORCE??

** A bolt of lightning comes down and hits the shed ** KRAKTA BOOM!!!! **

God : STOP INTERRUPTING!!!!
The guys : Yes Lord Sorry Lord...
God : And don't apologize..ah forget it i'll have someone else do it.

** God looks down at Happosai **

Happosai : GULP!
God : You old freak.... i'm watching you.
Stick : HA POWNED!!!
Happosai: HAPPO FIRE BUUURRSSTTT!!!! ** BOOM!!! **
Stick : IIII CAANN SEE MYY HOOOUSSEEE FROOOMMM HEEEERREEEE!!
Tourettes Guy : WHAT THE HELL'S ALL THE NOISE??!!
OEO: Happosai just blew Stick into the next county.
Tourettes Guy : WELL QUIT IT!!!

** In the next county... **

Stick : Damned old freak wait til i..

** A dixie air horn is heard and an ice cream truck jumps over a ramp and over Stick **

Sweet Tooth : YYYEEEEEEEE- HAAAWWWWW!!!!
Stick : WHAT THE FUCK??!!!!

** A missile shoots out the back of the truck and blows up two persuing police cars ** BOOOMM!!!**

Sweet Tooth : Holy Crap Stick!!! How ya been?
Stick : Woah Sweet tooth haven't seen you around lately.
Sweet tooth : Hop aboard and i'll give you a ride home.

** Meanwhile Sam finally finds his way out of the forest **

Sam : Wow it's a jungle in there... hey who'se that?
Smokey The Bear : Only YOU can prevent gaying up the forest!
Sam : Me? Wow! How do i do that?
Smokey : GO SOMEWHERE ELSE!!!

** Smokey raises his shovel like a golf club and swats Sam away **

Sam : Wooooaaahhhh I can see my house froomm heeeerrrreeee ** WHAP!!!**
Tourettes Guy : HOLY FUCK IT'S SAM!! DAMMIT!!! HOLY SHITT!!! PIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSS!!!
Wanderer: GET OFF ME!!
Sam : Hey guys what's up?
Happosai : Well I was right it WAS a bad omen.
Sam : HEE HEE!!!
Sam : WOAH It"S MICHAEL JACKSON!!
Sam : No it's not i'm Sam!!!
Sam : No I'M SAM!!!
Hulk : Oh crap don't tell me we're gonna end the movie like this.
Randy : No way even HIJ wouldn't use something so obvious as to leave room for a sequal would he?
OEO: Hey what the fuck? Flying letters.
Starscream : BITCHES!!!!!
Wanderer : Where??
OEO: Crap it's the credits.
Tourettes Guy : HOLY FUCK!!! MY ASS!! WHERE'S THE KEY GRIP???!!!!
Happosai : Wow I didn't know casting was done by Roc-A-Babe.
Randy : Special Effects by the Glue wow.
Hulk : First Aid was Kool Aid Man?
OEO : Who the hell are these names whizzing by?
Randy : Those are the alts nobodys posts with.


** Sam and sam continue fighting in a dust cloud as THE END comes up and everything goes black **
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Old 18 Jun 2005, 02:16 PM   #2 (permalink)
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other than I can't remember the last time hulk hogan was here, and the fact that randy orton is pwf's kurt, twas alright
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Old 18 Jun 2005, 07:54 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I remember when I first started the whole "Sam is gaying up this thread" thing

I think it was when he ruined the Rolling Stones
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Old 18 Jun 2005, 08:32 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris
I remember when I first started the whole "Sam is gaying up this thread" thing

I think it was when he ruined the Rolling Stones

Actually i think Stick started it.
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Old 18 Jun 2005, 08:33 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HULK IS JOB!
Actually i think Stick started it.
I don't think so....but I'm sure somebody will come in with a definitive answer.
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Old 18 Jun 2005, 08:49 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Very first episode is down on page 6 post is dated 2/14/04.

that should give a timeframe on what was going on.
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Old 18 Jun 2005, 09:15 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Funny stuff HIJ, especially the parts with Tourretes guy.... and me of course
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Old 19 Jun 2005, 05:34 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Very cool, HIJ. Had me laughing all the way through.
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Old 20 Jun 2005, 09:52 AM   #9 (permalink)
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This part cracked me up.

Quote:
Sam : You're my father?
Darth : GOD NO I HOPE NOT!
LMAO.
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Old 19 Jul 2005, 12:51 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Kool Aid Man , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Kool Aid Man , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Kool Aid Man , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Kool Aid Man , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Kool Aid Man , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Kool Aid Man , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Kool Aid Man , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Kool Aid Man , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Kool Aid Man , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Kool Aid Man , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Kool Aid Man , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.
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My name doesnt make sense in this little story.
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Old 19 Jul 2005, 01:32 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Great Job this part was hilarious.

Quote:
Originally Posted by HULK IS JOB!
GOD : STARSCREAM........ STARSCREAM.
Star: You want me to find the Holy Grail?
God: No I lost my contact lens I want you to find that.
Randy : That's all?
God : Just kidding... Starscream there is a great disturbance in...
Stick : THE FORCE??

** A bolt of lightning comes down and hits the shed ** KRAKTA BOOM!!!! **

God : STOP INTERRUPTING!!!!
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Old 20 Jul 2005, 03:35 PM   #12 (permalink)
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why the hell was this bumped?
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Old 21 Jul 2005, 10:26 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Probably because KAM came in and dropped his 2 cents.
Doesn't count as a bump it was still on the first page since nobody is posting anything in CW except me posting new episodes.
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