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Old 05 Mar 2005, 09:39 PM   #1 (permalink)
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why me Dwyane Wade's Thoughts

Yeah, I wanted my own thoughts column, but no one cares what I think. So I invited my favorite NBA star over, and he's here to give us his thoughts for March 5, 2005. Basketball players aren't very smart, and can't write full columns. So you'll be getting Dwyane Wade's thoughts through an interview which I did with him earlier today.

Alex: Hello Dwyane.

Dywane Wade: Hello Alex.

AM: So, how do you like my house? Do you enjoy coming over?

DW: Hell no, dude. Your room's a fucking mess. And why don't you own ESPN NBA 2k5? What the fuck's up with this College Hoops 2k5 bullshit game?

AM: I'm the one asking you questions, alright. Now, what do you think of this PWF place?

DW: Meh, it's okay. Sometimes I LMFAO when I'm on it. But really... IMO, the internet is kinda gay. I'm rarely on it FYI.

AM: Umm, then why did you just use three fucking internet acronyms in the same sentence? LOL!!! Anyways, who's the best player on the Heat? You or Shaq?

DW: The only thing Shaq does better than me is rebound and block. And I'm not a big man, that's not my job. I do everything a PG should do. I score, steal, and assist. I'm better. Now admit it, right fucking now.

AM: Dude, why do you think I invited you over instead of Shaq? You rule, now get the gun out of my face. Why does my comedy suck so much?

DW: I recommend not trying as hard. Let the funny come to you. Like a bird, flying into a shallow pond of elegance.

AM: What the fuck? That question was rhetorical, dude. And you didn't make any sense. Who's your favorite NCAA College Hoops Player and Team?

DW: Illinois and JJ Redick. Just like you. Maybe it's because I am you.

AM: You're not supposed to say that. Dude, what the fuck is wrong with you. You just ruined my interview. Turn the fucking camera off, guys.

=================================

Now, just to make sure this is a true ripoff of Gdawg's column, let's have some Fuck Ups and Jack Offs!

Fuck Up- Dwyane Wade, for fucking up my interview.

Jack Off- Gdawg, because he left PWF for a 1 day repeated jack off session.

Fuck Up- Me, for trying to write when I know I can't.

Jackoff- Me, because I jacked off today.

==================================

Dwyane Wade has legally changed his name to "Shaq's Owner"

Alex has legally changed his name to "Never Writing a Column Again"

Gdawg has legally changed his name to "Back and Black"

======================================

That ends Dwyane Wade's column for today and forever. But don't worry, out there in the real world, someone is practicing. Someone is perfecting their skill. And one day, there will be another thread in CW. One day.
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Last edited by Alex; 26 Mar 2008 at 05:04 AM.
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Old 05 Mar 2005, 11:06 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Jack Off- Gdawg, because he left PWF for a 1 day repeated jack off session.


That good or bad
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Old 06 Mar 2005, 12:01 AM   #3 (permalink)
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"That good or bad"?

Oh my god! You are back and black.

And that's good. I jack off too. We all do. And to leave your favorite site just to jack off repeatedly for 24 hours... you are the MAN, Gdawg.
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"My enemies, I wish em all luck, and I pray for them...
Cuz whenever we cross paths, that'll be the day for them...
Thompsons, M16s, and AKs for them...
Can't just get one, bullets like Frito Lays for them..."

- Jadakiss
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Old 06 Mar 2005, 12:34 AM   #4 (permalink)
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lmfao. You so crazy Alex... you so crazy.
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Old 06 Mar 2005, 02:03 AM   #5 (permalink)
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What'd you think of my column?
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Thompsons, M16s, and AKs for them...
Can't just get one, bullets like Frito Lays for them..."

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Old 06 Mar 2005, 06:55 PM   #6 (permalink)
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I liked it. Im a huge D-Wade fan.
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Old 06 Mar 2005, 10:22 PM   #7 (permalink)
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I liked it. It was funnier than hell, which by the way, is pretty funny.
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Old 07 Mar 2005, 10:11 AM   #8 (permalink)
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GDAWG, next time you go in hell, gimme a holla!...I would love to see what it is before i die. Nice work, Alex(i guess that's you're name).
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Old 07 Mar 2005, 10:15 AM   #9 (permalink)
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well, with all the dead comedians, you cant help but laugh. BTW, in the Great Balls of Fire room tommorrow night, Hitler is Rodney Dangerfields opening act. See ya there
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Old 07 Mar 2005, 10:20 AM   #10 (permalink)
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^OH...MY...GOD!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA...Priceless...But i'm wondering why Dangerfields's not St.Peter's clown. I tought the judge loves humor... I guess he prefered Chaplin.
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