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Column O' Nonsense: Edgehead Memories
 
 
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Old 20 Aug 2004, 07:58 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Column O' Nonsense: Edgehead Memories

"Hello. My name is Dougie Nunny, and I am an Edgehead."

Ever since Edge's pathetic return to wrestling earlier this year followed by his lackluster feuds and matches since, this has been the normal statement of the former Edgehead army. We are treated now like alcoholics in an AA meeting. We are now treated like less of a fan for our past. We are now, more importantly, treated like idiots. But why? What happened? Well, let's answer another question first and maybe we can go from there.

What is an Edgehead? Simply put, it is a noun that was derived somewhere in mid-2002 in a promo to eloquently describe a loyal follower or fan of the professional wrestler Edge, a former member of a legendary WWE tag team. Seems harmless enough, right? Well when the name first came out, it spread like wildfire all over the wrestling community. Everyone wanted to be on the side of and wanted to support the hottest, new singles wrestler who seemed to be working his way up the ladder very fast since his King of the Ring upset victory over Kurt Angle in 2001. After his amazing run in 2002 which ended with a neck injury, it seems that almost everyone was at least some form of an Edgehead and that the Edgehead army was growing by the day.

But something changed. Edge injured his neck and went through the same surgery that Chris Benoit, Rhyno, Steve Austin, Lita, Hardcore Holly, and more had all gone through before him. For more than a year, we were without this "ideal" wrestler who could deliver quips to Kurt Angle as well as eye popping matches with Eddie Guerrero. For more than a year, we were Edgeheads without an Edge. Though we all missed Edge, we all stuck it through that year. We stayed loyal to this talented wrestler despite our craving for a classic Edge promo. We went over his TLC, Ladder, and great single matches to get our Edge fix. We read his emotional commentary that made us wish he could be the first to return in under twelve months. We cried when he cried after Kurt Angle returned only 3 months after having neck surgery in an alternative surgery Edge could have had. We watched the build-up for the biggest spectacle of all time wishing he could be thrown in there somehow. We even watched that spectacle with the hope that he would interfere in just one of the matches so he could be a part of it.

But it was all right. Two weeks later, our year long Edge craving had been fed, as we saw him spear the stuffing out of Eric Bischoff, which I am sure we have all dreamt about doing from time to time. At last, our beloved Edge was back and his dedicated Edgehead army was there to graciously welcome him back.

Or were we...

After he returned to WWE and was traded to Raw, we all sat through what many perceived to be a mediocre build up just so we could see him compete in what made him famous: the ring. We even gave reason for the bad build up to WWE and/or Kane. Oh, how wrong we were. Following all this, we sat down, grabbed a snack, and expected the continuation of the dominance that Edge had shown in 2002. In perhaps the understatement of the year, our expectations were not met. We saw a horrible match between the legend that we thought was in the making in 2002 and the monster that everyone expected would be the worst wrestler in the ring. Obviously, he was not. Perhaps the worst match of the night was his return, despite us sitting through Coach in the ring as well as a match that was just used to get someone who wasn't even in the match over; and that is really saying something. After this embarrassing display by Edge in this match, a lot of critics shoved it off. He had just returned from neck injury, for god's sakes. Chris Benoit's first match back was not that well, as well as Steve Austin and Kurt Angle. Sure, they were still good, but only because these wrestlers are gods of the squared circle. When you take a god and step him down a level, you get a good wrestler. And when you take a good wrestler like Edge and step him down a level, you get a mediocre wrestler bordering on bad. Don't believe me? Compare Steve Austin Vs. Rock to Steve Austin Vs. Rikishi. Compare Chris Benoit Vs. Bubba Ray Dudley to Chris Benoit Vs. A-Train. You will see my point. How were Rhyno, Lita, and Hardcore Holly upon their return? Mediocre. Hell, Holly was horrible. After his house show and Velocity matches leading up to Survivor Series 2003, I had no confusion as to why he was DQed almost immediately in that high profile match. Trust me. The same all applies to Edge. Nonetheless, subsequent to this horrid match with Kane, Edge was stuck in a random tag team that had everybody nodding with agreement as we all knew this would help him. What do Rhyno, Lita, and Chris Benoit all have in common with their returns? They were all placed in a tag team upon their return until their in-ring work was up to speed with their pre-injury in-ring work. Chris Benoit with Eddie Guerrero, Rhyno with Chris Benoit, and Lita with Trish Stratus. And of course, this made the acclimation to the ring and destruction of ring rust only so much easier even if it was just for one match or ten. Edge required this to a great extent, so naturally, things were looking up.

Maybe not, however. As his title reign with Benoit went on, we saw Edge scarcely improving. He essentially remained the same, which I am sure is another one of the understatements of the year. The excellent tag team competitor who found success with Rey Mysterio and Christian was gone, and this replacement of the former great couldn't even spark my interest during the hot tags. Yes, that is very pathetic, and I agree with most of what you are thinking. In any case, what did WWE do to solve this? They took the straps off of Edge and Benoit, and pushed him into a singles feud. Big mistake. Enter Randy Orton. The self proclaimed legend killer who really had not had a bad match since his debut. Well, obviously, Edge sought out to fix that. That was a little bit harsh, but by looking at that match, it made us all wonder if he was ever going to improve and if maybe he was sabotaging Orton. No one could do that bad after being so good, right? Hopefully. And all the more, why in the world was he given the strap? Yes, any belt puts someone in the spotlight and improves him/her, but had he given any indication for improvement yet? Don't think so. WWE dropped the ball on that one, and no one seems to realize it yet. Despite all this history, we are stuck with cold, hard facts now. His in ring work just does not appear to be recovering after his injury His promos are works of which we expected of a steroid induced wrestler. His look does not spark the same knowledge of passion we once thought him to have. Basically, this is not the man we once knew and loved, and the wrestling public knows this.

People who used to fawn over Edge are now biting their thumbs at the young star, and those who have faith that Edge will return to his former glory are treated to ridicule. But instead of forming meetings for former Edgeheads in the style of AA or hiding the fact that we used to tune into Smackdown at times only to see him, shouldn't we find a better alternative that doesn't ridicule us or make us change our former beliefs? Sure. But what?

For starters, watch a match of his. Go out to your local video store and buy a DVD with him on it, or if you are poor like I am, go out and rent one. Hell, I'm sure if you have Kazaa, Limewire, or a good way to manipulate Google; you can find them online. Anyone of his epic bouts from 2001 and 2002 will be sufficient. You will be shocked at what you find in comparison to today, and you will realize why you loved him in the first place. From his excellent feud with Eddie Guerrero to his "put it all on the line" attitude he portrayed in his ladder match with Christian, you can find it all. There are plenty of instant classics:
KOTR 2001
Summerslam 2001
Unforgiven 2001
No Mercy 2001
Vengeance 2001
Royal Rumble 2002
No Way Out 2002
Wrestlemania X8
Backlash 2002
Judgment Day 2002
Vengeance 2002
Summerslam 2002
Unforgiven 2002
No Mercy 2002
Rebellion 2002
Survivor Series 2002
And trust me; the list does not stop there.

Find someone who has some tapes of Smackdown from 2002. Watch his tag team run with Mysterio, or his monumental cage match with Angle. Even more, inform Edge haters of these matches. If anyone watches all of those and can't even be entertained, let alone impressed, by one of them, then I must be the most delusional person on the world. I know how you guys are feeling right now despite the memories, and I am too somewhat. Edge is not Edge now, but until he is, we have to bide the time. History will always help us. Whether it is a TLC match from 2000 or a singles match from 2002, the history of Edge will bide the time until this current stale character becomes history too.

His promos are just another bullet to put on your list of things to help you bide the time. Go back to the Invasion angle, or before that. Look at the confrontations he had with Taker, X-Pac, Christian, Regal, Storm, and more. Remember how he made a fool out of Angle with the pictures and the T-Shirt or how he challenged Taker's legacy with how many title reigns he had with Kane. If you didn't find that funny or comical in the least bit, then honestly, what do you find funny? That stuff is gold in WWE and the feather in the cap of their ever decreasing quality of promos. Yes, his promo skills are gone, but they will be back again one day and one thing is for sure. They will definitely reek of awesomeness when they make their anticipated return. When this day happens, gone will be the day of staring down Triple H looking like a psycho with his fingers in the air, and the day will come again when we see Edge play a practical joke for the sake of a practical joke.

Nevertheless, that's not all that has to be done to save our army. One thing is more important than just watching and remembering his matches and promos. What thing am I rambling on and on about? Faith. No, I am not talking about faith in god, us, or something cliche like that. Put faith in Edge and that history will repeat itself. People come back from injuries different, and they always take time to get back to where they were. For Chris Benoit, it took a few matches. In my opinion, it took Triple H a year and a half (though that is not fact). Who knows how long it will take Edge; but if we have faith that he will once again soar through the ring like a hawk swooping in for a meal, then that is all that will take. With faith, we can survive on old tapes, pictures, promos, articles, and more. With faith, we can survive anything that this stinker may subject us to at this point for we know that he will come back to the former stature that he was once at. Sure, he is having a couple of bad months, but the faith will get us through it. More importantly, it is what drives our faith that will get us through this rough patch.

Rely on your Edgehead memories, my friends, and they will guide us through this storm. These Edgehead memories can navigate me through anything this replacement throws at me. In the end, my Edgehead memories helped me survive a year without him, and half a year with his doppelganger, and they can survive me for as long as I live for they are that strong. That is why I have faith. That is why I have optimism. Can your Edgehead memories do that for you?

Well, that's it for the topic of this edition of "Column O' Nonsense," and I would like to let you all leave with your intelligence intact, so why don't we get this final stretch over with?

For this week's match of the column, I really wanted to pick something special to go along with the feeling of the column; something that would inspire all of us to indeed keep faith in our downtrodden version of Edge. But don't worry, I found something that everyone here can love and appreciate; and as I said before, if you can't even be entertained, let alone impressed, by this, then I must be the most delusional person on the world. This was the perfect end to one of Edge's and the other competitor's best feuds; and honestly, the brutality and innovation of this match were amazing. Despite its environment, it wasn't a spot fest or a sloppily booked match, but rather a match that told the story of how far these two competitors would go to defeat the other. This week's MOTC is:
Edge Vs. Eddie Guerrero
No DQ
Smackdown, September 26, 2002

Well, now that we have a match that can remind you of why we love Edge, why not a quote from a classic promo? Here is something that puts Edge up on that level of the greatest insulters of all time. This guy could insult anyone, anytime, any day of the week and do it in such quickness, veracity, and humor that made us all think so highly of him. Trust me, if Edge had kept along his path with these promos, we would be saying, "Who's Rock?" Below is just one of the many classic quotes that I have in my library of him, but it was the first one to come to mind and something that took a cliche and turned into an epic putdown. This week's QOTC is:
"And as far as being part of the most popular group in WWF history, well, hanging out with really cool people does not make you a really cool person. Oh and by the way, 1998 called and they're sick and tired of you, so feel free to join us in the year 2001 anytime."
Edge to X-Pac
Smackdown, mid-2001

Finally (hopefully), let's get this cheap plug over with, and we will be done! First of all, I would like to plug a new site owned by a friend of mine. Wrestlingunited.com is definitely a site worth checking out. From columns to news, it's got mostly everything you can want in a news site in better format and content. Also, Mike Steele's and my site is still open, and for those of you who don't know, it is a mostly columns site, but with a load of other features. As of right now, we have columns, wrestler columns, guest columns, interviews, forums, audio shows, e-fed, games, reviews, live PBP reviews, cartoons, contests, and so much more! Last week, the site turned 4 months old, and for a site people wouldn't think would last 4 hours, that is darn fine. As of right now, we have 90 columnists writing for us, about 7 interviews ranging from Indy superstars like Steve Corino and Low Ki, a wonderful team of reviewers, an excellent young cartoonist who will start soon, and an excellent forum. If you like my stuff, then you go to this site and find all my interviews, reviews, and my weekly audio show with Adam Perez. Even if you don't like my stuff (and especially if you think I am an idiot), check out this week's show with Will Hernandez as you can find a good way to prove I am an idiot! The Wrestling Voice is the voice of the public, however varied it may be; and we pride ourselves on trying to portray every aspect of the IWC. Well, to sweeten the deal even more, we are accepting applications for any job 24-7! If you think you can be a columnist, reviewer, game maker, cartoonist, or something else, just fill out an application at this address (http://thewrestlingvoice.com/application.shtml) or you can find out more about us by e-mailing.
The Wrestling Voice - Get Your Voice Heard!

Well, let's bring this to a close. Next time, I will have a column entitled "Black Sheep;" and no, I can't tell you who it is about. It will ruin the surprise! If you have anything to say about this column, me, or anything else; just IM me or e-mail with the information below. I will answer ASAP back to you, so don't worry! Well that's it from "Column O' Nonsense." This is Dougie Nunny signing off and asking again: can your Edgehead memories do for you what it did for me? Or did I drop your IQ lower than the wrestling ability Edge has now that you can not survive with even those potent memories?

AIM - Dougie Nunny
E-mail - dougienunny@thewrestlingvoice.com
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