The stupidest thing you will ever read.
“Jizz… Jizz all over my face…” The boy screamed as I was gassing up my car. I thought, why the hell would the guy to say that? I charged the gas on my card and drove home, and before I fell asleep that night I suddenly stopped and thought, “Jizz… Jizz all over my face…” and it disturbed me. I couldn’t sleep that night; I drove the town for almost an hour. I watched the sun rise high over the hills surrounding the valley, and all I could think about was that damn stupid kid.
I figured it wasn’t worth fretting over, and I should get my mind off of it. I headed to work. I still don’t think my wife knew I had even been home. I sat at work and filed papers and done my share of the duty. But something wasn’t settled, why was I obsessed with this? I sat all through the lunch hour, contemplating human nature. Why? Why do people say and do such random things? I decided to try it for myself. I headed over to my friend Frank’s desk, I leaned over and said, “Frank... if you don’t get to work I'll shave your head and lick it... then I'm gonna say, ‘Hey... his head tastes like my dick. That’s some good dick.’" Frank stared stunned for a moment, he then got up and walked out of the office. I thought to myself, “well, that didn’t work out so good.”
I drove the usual route home and had dinner with my wife, she was ‘in the mood’ that night. So I hopped in bed with her, she was on top. She started in with that lame dirty talk that I always thought was so stupid. For some reason, that I do not know of to this very day, I blurted out, “Jizz!!! Jizz all over my face!!!” My wife then rolled over, and turned out the light, and went to sleep.
The next day she filed for divorce. There was a long custody struggle, the details of which are too painful and gruesome to go into. The Judge asked me for a closing statement, and on that fateful date in court I said, “Jizz… Jizz all over my face…” That’s all I could come up with. I haven’t seen my kids since.
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Thats the story. And if you read it, your IQ has dropped about 3 points.
-Trevelbond-
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