Part II of "Macho Gets a hangover"

[Trevelbond]

Macho Gets a Hangover II

Scene 1

(We left our heroes following a gunshot and scream that rattled the hearts and minds of our stars. We find Macho running towards his Ice Cream shop in a panic… dressed only in socks.)

Macho (Screaming): Haywhatchadowahetredidjago!!?!?!

(He fumbles with his keys)

(He opens the door to find something that shook him to his very core, something so terrible that I hate to even type it.)

Macho: Oh… my… god…

(Chyna and Scott Hall lie on the floor… both with crushed ribcages… squirming and writhing beneath a massive weight. A weight known only as… Kevin Nash.)

Macho: What happened here?? What was the gunshot?? Is anybody hurt??

Hall(Struggling to breathe): Please… help. We killed Nash… but it was an accident…

(Macho uses all of his strength to move the goliath.)

Hall: Chyna and I were making hot hermaphrodite lovin’ when Nash came diving over the counter.

Macho: That’s impossible!! Nash hasn’t had working knees in months!!

Hall: The lack of beer in his system must have sent him into a frenzy… I can’t explain it either.

Macho(Suspiciously): How did he get shot then??

Hall: It wasn’t really a shot… my hinting knife came out of its holster. It brushed against his belt, which snapped. The belt whipped around his back and severed his spinal column… I can’t believe he’s gone.

(Hall and Chyna begin to cry)

(A customer knocks on the door. He wants in)

Macho: You two get out of here!!! I’ll deal with things here.

Hall: Umm… do you want my pants or something??

Macho: No, Your pants?? Why??

(Hall and Chyna roll their eyes and leave. Macho unlocks the door.)
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Scene 2

(The customer enters. Looks at the naked Macho, then the dead body. Macho. Body. Macho. Body.)

Customer: I’ll take half a pint of Rum Raisin, nice… conversation piece.

Macho: Are you nuts?? Do you know what kind of situation you’re in?? What kind of sick freak are you?? RUM RASIN!?!?!? Get the hell out of my store!!

Customer: What’s with the body?

Macho (Calmly): Conversation piece. Here’s your shit cream. Get out. OOOOH YEEEAAH!!!

(The customer leaves as another enters. A short Latino man.)

Latino: Oh man what the hell is that smell??

(Macho notices that Nash is decomposing)

Macho (Stupidly, Loudly): FUNG SHUEI!!!!!!

Latino: Mayn, fuck you puto, get me a quart of strawberry, ‘fore I cut you… foo!

Macho: Fine, here it is… now leave. I have to dust off my fung shuei.

(Nash begins stirring. He claws at Macho, asking him something.)

Nash: SavE…… mY… caNdy… bAAaaAaAAArrrs…

Macho: NOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEAAAAAAH!!!

(Nash suddenly rises and starts walking out of the store.)

Nash: I was testing you. Everyone gets one.

Macho (Perplexed): How’d I do??

Nash: Two words: fung… shuei…

Macho: What the fuck is fung shuei??

(Nash rolls his eyes and walks out without any explanation of the attack. Macho realizes this.)

Macho (Calling out from the doorway to Nash standing at the curb): What was that thing with Chyna and Hall??

Nash: The longer I can keep those two from procreating; the better society is in general.

(Nash sees the Bus approaching, he collapses to the ground)

Nash (Faintly): My kneeeees!!

(He winks at a still confused Macho.)

(Macho stands alone, confused, unsettled at this whirlwind of events that has so affected his life. He sits and reflects. After several minutes of deep thought

Macho: Rum raisin?? People that aren’t me are freaks!!!

-The end-

[Rusty Cooledge]

Beautiful stuff! I can see you writing for Adult Swim cartoons for sure.