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The Most Ultraviolent Hardcore Show You Will Ever Read...... (CZW FANS ONLY!!!)
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Old 17 Jan 2004, 03:07 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default The Most Ultraviolent Hardcore Show You Will Ever Read...... (CZW FANS ONLY!!!)

Ok here it is......

The UHW’s theme song plays over the open outside arena in Dover, Delaware. The small crowd goes wild as the opening video package plays showing all of the superstars in there wrestling matches from the past. The package shows “Sick” Nick Mondo, The Messiah, “Hardcore” Nick Gage, and of course Zandig and many other superstars that are in the show tonight. The video clip ends as Zandig superplexes Lobo into a flaming barbwire table, from CZW. Then the show appears outside of the ring and the camera zooms around the crowd as UHW blares through out the opened arena. The crowd is in a uproar as Zangid’s music hits and he makes his way out of the stage way and into the ring. He walks through the ropes and walks around the ring a bit as he grabs a mic and taps it on the speaker to get it to work. Zandig then starts to speak.....

Zandig: Hello everybody and welcome to Suicide Saturday’s FIRST show in its run. Now tonight is going to be different from the other businesses you have watched before, because this is ultraviolet entertainment! And what you are going to see today isn’t wristlocks. Your not going to see leg locks or some body slams. You might see body slams onto panes of glass! Yeah that's right, because as luck would have it, this month is the Tournament Of Death! And to kick off the TOD we are going to have our little death matches here tonight! You see every match is going to have a gimmick to it. Right from the match coming up to the very ending match. I promise you that in every segment you will see blood. Big bumps everywhere. And some of the sickest matches here tonight because Sick Nick Mondo is in the fucking house! Also, it is going to be a very sick match between Lobo and Mad Man Pondo in a No Rope Barbwire match! So get ready because our first match, a hardcore bout between, personally my two favorites, Necro Butcher vs The Homeless Guy, Homeless Jimmy!

Match 1: Homeless Jimmy vs Necro Butcher-Hardcore Match

Zandig leaves the ring as Homeless Jimmy’s music hits and he slaps his hand and pats him on the back as Zandig walks through the curtain. Homeless Jimmy walks down the ramp with his shopping cart filled with “goodies” and stops and enters the ring. He waits for Butcher. Then, Necro’s music hits as he comes out with the arm chops and runs into the ring with the black mat. Butcher looks at Jimmy’s cart and looks back at Jimmy as the bell sounds and the match is under way. They both square off as they lock up and Jimmy gets the upper hand and throws him into the corner, hard! Necro goes down as Jimmy picks him back up and places him in the corner again and starts to punch him into the head, as the fans chant...1....2....3....4...Necro had enough and lowblows Jimmy and he falls sideways. Necro takes some time off and then climb the turnbuckle and does a fist drop onto Jimmy’s face! Necro picks Jimmy up as he puts him in a suplex position and turns him in mid air and drops him onto his neck! Jimmy is down as Necro picks him up and throws him to the outside of the ring and Jimmy’s ass gets slammed onto a table on the outside. Necro takes the advantage and gets a chair set up in the corner and slams it over the head of Homeless Jimmy. The chair fit around his head! Necro smiles a little bit as he swings Jimmy’s whole body into the corner post and the chair digs into his throat even more! Jimmy goes down trying to get the chair off him and Necro steps on the side of the chair, causing him to not breathe for the about five seconds. Necro then goes under the ring and brings out this big box. A metal box that has two clips on it and a handle. “I brought the supplies”, Necro says as he opens it up and a bunch of objects fall out. He then picks up from the ground a staple gun! Necro clicks the button about four times before he throws it into the ring and then grabs from the box a screwdriver. Necro holds the screwdriver tightly as Jimmy gets up slowly and he jabs it between the eyes of Jimmy. Jimmy goes down again! Necro picks him up and places him in the corner and runs the screwdriver further into the wound of Jimmy. Jimmy screams in pain as blood starts to trickle down his face. As soon as the blood started to flow, it started to push and pump out of his forehead. And a few seconds later Jimmy’s face is red! Necro looks at the bloody tip of the screwdriver and licks it! He laughs out of breath like and throws Jimmy back into the ring. He looks under the ring and grabs out a brown, tall, box from the ring and slides it in as well as himself. He then puts the box up in the corner and grabs it to his chest and starts to rip at the taped box. He rips it open and inside was four light tubes! Necro takes one out as stalks Jimmy like a lion would a deer and as soon as he turned around...WHAM...right in the stomach and chest one of the light tubes goes into Jimmy! Jimmy goes down and holds his stomach. Necro takes another tube and as Jimmy gets to his knees and hands he cracks and smashes another one over his back. Necro controls the match as he picks up the beaten and bloodied Homeless Jimmy and whips him into the corner and back body drops him onto the mat now filled with sharp pieces of glass! Necro laughs as he puts Homeless Jimmy’s head between the first and lays his head on the second black rope. He takes another light tube and cracks it over his head! Necro then takes the broken and half tube and picks up some of Jimmy’s hair and slices it with the tube! He makes a little bald spot on his head and scraps the broken light tube across his head! Jimmy is out. Necro picks him up and does a exploder suplex and Jimmy has to be done. Necro pins him....1.....2...NO! Oh my god the fans cheer Homeless Jimmy on as he has no fighting chance but to kick out. Necro gets pissed, so he takes the staple gun and looks at Jimmy and smiles. But Jimmy gets to his feet quick and kicks the staple gun out of his hands and picks it up and cracks it over the head of Necro. Both men fall to the ground... covered in glass! The ref is stunned as he backs up into the corner and just stays there. Jimmy starts to get up a spilt second before Necro does so that gives him some time to kick him in the nuts! Jimmy takes Necro up onto his ass and sits him right up. Jimmy takes the last light tube and cracks it over his head as Necro goes down. But Jimmy thinks other wise as he picks him back up in a up right position and takes his black shirt and puts it on his lip. He then takes the staple gun and staples a staple in his lip! Oh my god, Necro can get his shirt from his mouth. Jimmy then takes him and picks him up and powerbombs him. Jimmy then smiles as he takes the shirt and rips it from Necro’s mouth and Necro screams in pain. Jimmy picks him up again and does a piledriver onto a piece of un broken glass tube. Jimmy then pins Necro....1.....2....3! Jimmy wins as Necro is in the ring in pain holding all his body parts but really feeling his lip wound. Jimmy then rolls outside and grabs his cart and goes up the ramp and the crowd cheers him as the UHW goes to a commercial with a Necro close up of his face.

When the UHW returns from the break it shows at the bottom corner of the screen “Before The Show” and on the main screen shows the words “SICK” on somebody's forehead as the crowd cheers wildly and the camera zooms out to reveal that its “Sick” Nick Mondo. Mondo stares into the camera with the whiteness of his eyes glaring into the lens. He then points to his forehead with both his fingers and then does his “Mondo” sign. He then gets ready to speak......

“Sick” Nick Mondo: Messiah! Tonight, the first night of the UHW. Both of us were granted of competing for the World Title at the very first show. Now both of us go back a while you know that. But come on, what type of match can you POSSIBLY think of that we haven't already worked on. 200 light tube match? Done it! How about a 1000 light tube match? Yeah, that wouldn't work out now would it. Messiah, its YOUR turn to think of something for a change instead of just leaving it up to me! Were in the main event, so that gives you....two hours! Think of something, something original Zandig said. Zandig wants something original! Well your the man to give it to him. Make a match so good that it almost fights itself. Messiah, you need to think quick because the clock ticks away. Every second I talk the clock gets down to the point were you need to make a choice here. Either find or make up a match, or give me the title and forfeit! Now Messiah...just incase your worried that you can’t think of a good enough match for tonight's main event. Well your in luck, I have one that we have never done. A Mountain High Flaming Barbwire Table Match. Now you know what a mountain high barbwire table match is right. Of course you do, its a table that is glued and crazy glued and some sorts of other things and the barbwire is very high. So when one of us goes through it, then that means that were stuck in it. That means its like being in a car crash when the car implodes on you and the car is made out of barbwire. But just to make things worse...its going to be flaming!

Nick Mondo stops speaking and stands up from the chair he was sitting at and the camera goes level with him. Mondo points to his forehead again and walks off camera. Then the scene goes to the ring again and has the announcer standing in the middle of the ring with a little notepad getting ready to announce the next match.

Ring Announcer: Our next match is going to be for the UHW Tag Team Championship Titles! Introducing first, the challenger.... Jay and Mark....The Briscoe Brothers!

Jay and Mark Briscoe make there way to the ring

Ring Announcer: And the UHW Number #1 Contenders for the Tag Team Championship Titles, Johnny Kashmere and Trent....Acid. The Backseat Boys!

Match 2: The Briscoe Brothers vs The Backseat Boys-Tag Team Championship Titles

Kashmere and Trent make there way to the ring as Trent dances around the ring and Kashmere rolls into the ring and the bell sounds. Trent goes through the ropes and both teams talk it over. Johnny Kashmere steps out and so does Jay Briscoe. Trent Acid and Mark Briscoe start the match off! Both stare each other, feeling each other out and then lock up. Mark gets Trent into a head lock and quickly Trent pushes him to the ropes and runs as well and delivers a hard clothesline. Mark goes down as Trent picks him up and puts him in a suplex position and drops him on his head like a brain buster type of move. The crowd “Ohh” as they see Mark’s head get driven into the mat like that. Trent then swings him into the ropes and Mark jumps up and over Trent’s head and runs to the ropes and grabs Trent’s back and does a hard German suplex. Mark is down but quickly gets back up and goes up onto the turnbuckle and jumps off the top rope onto Trent and goes for the pin....1...Kashmere breaks it up in the middle of one. But then Jay Briscoe comes running in the ring and scaring Kashmere out of the ring as he chases him around it. Kashmere then runs into the ring and waits for Jay and dropkicks him in the jaw. Jay rolls out of the ring as Kashmere goes outside and throws in a chair. Trent takes it as Mark goes to pick him up by the head and lowblows him with it. Mark is down for sure! Trent sets up the steel chair as he whips Mark into the ring and does a back drop onto the black steel chair. The chair flips off and fold back up as Mark holds his head. Trent drags Mark’s foot as he tags in Kashmere and Jay looks ready to come in the ring now. But Mark is helpless as the two Backseat Boys pound on Mark Briscoe. Jay finally had enough and runs into the ring and knocks down Trent Acid. Trent and Jay fall out of the ring as Jay takes his head and bounces it off the steel guard rail. Jay takes a steel chair and hits him on the back with it and Trent’s down. Jay runs over to his corner and continues to make sure Mark gets the tag. Kashmere finds out what happened to Trent and is distracted by it as Mark flips him over and dropkicks him to the floor. Mark is out of breath and needs a break bad as Jay stretches his hand out as far as he can. Mark climb to his knees and walks over to Jay and tags him in. Jay speed out of the ringside like a bullet and goes and grabs Kashmere by his head. Jay then picks him up and puts him in a Fisherman's Buster but turns it around and neckbreakers Kashmere! The crowd cheers as they have never saw the move before. Outside the ring Trent has a table and slides it in the ring and attacks the ready Jay Briscoe. Kashmere then lowblows him and Jay goes down as well as Mark on the outside. Kashmere tells Trent something as he goes over to the table and sets it up in the corner. Trent smiles as he whips Mark Briscoe into the ring again and puts him by Jay. Then both Backseat Boys pick up one of the Briscoe Brothers and put them together and hold them in place for a double T- Gimmick! They position it right and run towards the table and T- Gimmick the Briscoe Brothers through the table together! A “Holy Shit” chant breaks out as Kashmere pins Jay....1.....2....3! The Backseat Boys win the Tag Team Titles!

Ring Announcer: Here are your winners, and NEW UHW Tag Team Champions....The Backseat Boys!

Trent and Kashmere exit the ring as the Briscoe Brothers are still in he ring. They slowly get up as the crowd gives them a ovation and they smiles and exit the ring as well. The camera cuts to the ring again were the announcer is there again.

Ring Announcer: Our next match will be a barbwire ladder match! For the Ironman Championship Title! Introducing first......Ric Blade!

Ric Blade appears as he walks to the ring

Ring Announcer: Introducing second, the challenger.....Adam Flash!

Match 3: Ric Blade vs Adam Flash-Barbwire Ladder Match-Ironman Championship Title

Adam Flash walks out to the ring and the orange ladder wrapped in barbwire is standing outside the ring. The bell sounds as the two look at each other and then look at the scaffolding hanging from the to buildings by a string, is were the belt is, on top of the scaffolding! Ric Blade gulps and Adam Flash breathes real hard and whips his hair back. Then both men lock up and Ric Blade starts to punch Adam straight in the face. Ric Blade then whips him into the corner and runs with a clothesline to his neck and chest. Ric Blade throws him into the other corner and does the same. As Flash wobbles out from the turnbuckle and Ric Blade performs a bull dog and sending Adam Flash’s face into the hard, wet mat. Ric Blade looks for some glass on the floor but the workers did a pretty good job of sweeping up all the glass. Ric Blade picks up Adam but Flash fights back with punches to the gut. Flash slowly gets control as he whips him into the ropes and delivers a big dropkick as the two men go down. Flash crawls to the ropes as he picks himself up and goes to the outside. Flash looks under the ring and pulls out a yellow ladder. A small six or seven footer and slides it into the ring. He then takes the big fifteen or twenty foot barbwire ladder and tosses it into the ring, very carefully. Adam jumps back into the ring as he picks up Ric and puts his arm behind his own back and lifts him up. Adam Flash then drops all Ric Blade’s wait onto his own arm! Blade screams in pain as he stomps at his chest. Flash then takes the little ladder and sets it in the corner. Adam picks up Blade and whips him into the ladder. Ric squints in pain as he slides down the front of the ladder and onto his front. Adam flips his hair back with his hand and takes out the barbwire ladder. He then places it gently onto Blade and then picks up the yellow one and smashes it on top of the barbwire ladder that has Blade underneath it! Blade starts to bleed from his arm and his forehead. Flash quickly sets up the yellow ladder and starts to climb it. He makes his way up to the top as Ric Blade starts to get up as well. Flash is at the top and can’t reach the belt, to small. As Adam is coming down Blade pushes the ladder over and Flash falls onto the concrete on the outside of the ring! Blade collapses as he tries to pull himself up by the ropes. Blade gets to his feet but is woozy. He picks up the yellow ladder as he chucks it to the outside of the ring onto Flash! Blade takes the orange barbwire ladder and sets it up. Blade looks at it and starts to climb through the barbwire. It takes a long time for each step as he keeps getting his hands caught in the barbwire. Ric Blade, about half way there as Adam comes in and a table come sin with him. Adam’s arm is sliced open as he sets up the table and then reaches for a chair from the outside. He then throws it up to Ric Blade as it knocks him out for a bit. Adam then climbs the ladder as well, faster then Blade as he reaches the middle as well. He takes Blade’s head and pounds it against the barbwire ladder. He then brings him up and places him onto the scaffolding and jumps up there with him. But no wait Ric Blade puts him in the 2K Bomb! Oh my god Ric Blade jumps from the scaffolding and threw the table! Both men our out as Ric rolls around the ring and actually pulls himself from the ladder up! Ric points up as he starts to climb again. Ric blade walks up the steps that Flash did and reaches the couple last steps. Blade reaches for the Ironman Title as he grabs it and the bell sounds! Ric Blade climbs down slowly.

Ring Announcer: Here is your winner......and new, UHW Ironman champion. Ric.... Blade!

Ric Blade holds up his title as he holds the back of his head as well and looks at the building to his left. He points to it and drops his newly won title and rolls Adam Flash out of the ring. That’s enough, Ric Blade is going to kill Flash tonight. Adam follows Ric slowly as Blade takes him over to the building with the entrance way and sets up a table. He then takes a light tube that a fan brought and smashes sit over the stomach of Adam. Blade sets the weaken Adam Flash onto the table and points to the ladder on the building. Ric starts to climb the attached ladder as he goes up it. Ric then pushes himself up onto the building and walks over to the edge. No way! Ric Blade is going to jump off the roof of that twenty-five foot building! Ric Blade holds his hands out and screams! He soon then jumps off and Swanton Bombs Adam Flash straight threw the table! Both men are out Ric then amazingly slowly gets to his feet as the fans chant “Ric Fuckin Blade” over and over again as Blade goes to the ring and grabs his title. Blade walks out as the fans reach out and get claps from Blade. Blade goes to threw the curtain as about two different replays show the action that just happened. The show then goes to a commercial with Adam Flash knocked out and getting help, the scene fades into a commercial.

When the UHW returns Messiah’s music hits and the crowd goes into a frenzy of cheers. Messiah makes his way to the ring with his black shirt on and black pants. He walks into the ring as a “Fuck Rob Black” chants starts up from the old days. Messiah grabs a mic and starts to speak.

Messiah: “Sick” Nick Mondo, I have a match for ya. You see that truck over there. Yeah the eighteen wheeler over there behind the crowd. Well if you have noticed that I have set up numerous of tables with light tubes and other shit on them. So Nick Mondo.... you could only guess that tonight's match will a semi-truck match! Were both of us will fight up there, and if we have to.... we will throw each other off . And one more thing, Mondo.... you need to pin me UP there to have it be the three count. Yeah of course there is the mountain high table over there. Of course close by there will be a couple matches and gasoline. So this match is kind of a two in one. Nick Mondo today is the day that I am the first ever, first ever UHW World.....

Messiah is interrupted by John Zandig’s music. Zandig makes his way the ring and grabs a mic. John Zandig starts to talk.

Zandig: Messiah, my good friend. You are out here to make the main event challenge to Nick Mondo. Well Nick Mondo is in the back right now and he says that he wants something else in the match as well. Now I am just saying what he said I am not taking sides here, but Mondo told me to tell you that he wants the semi to be covered in weapons during the match! Now I know that sounds.....

Messiah: It’s great! “Sick” Nick Mondo, your on bitch!

Messiah drops the mic as he leaves the ring and walks to the back. John Zandig starts to talk again.

Zandig: O....k? Onto our next match and will be a Four Corners Of Pain Match! In one corner, will be a thick glass pane. And in another corner, will be a bed of barbwire. Then in another corner will be a roll of chain linked fence nails onto a piece of three inch wood! And in the last corner, will be something for main events, but will happened in only the fourth match in the debut of UHW! In the last corner will be a wooden board with small explosives on it! Yes that's right straight out of Japan! So lets get this match on the road with one of the most hardcore guys I know. I mean, its in his name! Here is “Hardcore” Nick.....GAGE!

Match 4: “Hardcore” Nick Gage vs Josh Prohibition-Four Corners Of Pain Match

“Hardcore’ Nick Gage’s music hits and he runs to the ring. The workers are placing the barbwire bed and the glass in the ring. Then slowly they move in the explosives and then the chain linked fence. Gage looks around with his mad face and waits for his opponent. Then finally Josh Prohibition’s music hits and he charges the ring and starts to pound on Gage. The bell sounds with out a introduction of Josh and they start to punch back and fourth. Gage gets the up hand and arm drags Josh close to the explosives! Josh just saw his life flash before his eyes as he jumps back up and performs a hurricanrana and Gage lands in the middle of the ring. Josh points to the pane of glass and picks up Gage were his head is in between Gage’s legs and Gage has the chance to summer flip him for the pin. But that doesn't happened as Josh throws and whips Gage into the pane of glass and glass shatters everywhere! The crowd cheers them both on as Josh pins him....1....kick out! Oh my god, I thought it was over! Josh takes a piece of the glass and cuts it across the shaved head of Gage. The camera gets a close up as you can see the glass digging into the flesh of Gage and blood starts to trickle. Josh keeps cutting him in other places as you see seriously deep gashes in Gage’s head. Josh lets off as he picks him up and puts him in a suplex position and turns him around and drops him onto the glass as his legs bounce off the turnbuckle! Josh quickly gets up and sweeps off the glass on his arm and rolls to the outside. Josh looks under the ring and grabs four light tubes. Two in each hand, and rolls back into the ring. He drops two and waits for Gage, he drops another one and when Gage turns around Josh goes to hit him straight in the face, but Gage reverses it and takes it from him and kicks him in the nuts. Josh falls to his knees and looks up at Gage. Gage strongly smashes the light tube over the head of Josh Prohibition. Gage then grabs two more and then places them next to each other and puts him up for a pulling piledriver on the light tubes! Gage grabs his pants and drives his head into the light tubes. One breaks and the other just cracks. So, Gage picks up Josh and puts him in the empty corner. He smiles as he breaks one over his head again and he is a bloodied mess. Josh falls to the ground and then Gage puts the last light tube by his face and runs to the other side of the ring and drives his boot into Josh’s face. He quickly does it again, and then again. When Gage stops he looks at him and starts to smack him. Gage kicks him in the face again and goes to the outside. Gage looks under the ring and grabs a steel chair and slides it in the ring. He then takes out another black chair and slides that in the ring as well. Gage walks around the ring and looks under there and gets out a piece of wood and goes into the ring with it. Nick Gage takes the chair and slams it into the back of the woozy Josh Prohibition. Gage then sets up both chairs and then puts the piece of wood on to the two chairs and balances it out. Gage looks at it and makes sure its steady as he goes and gets Josh and brings him into the middle of the ring. He puts his head under his arm getting ready for a suplex. But no, Josh reverses it into a Fisherman's Suplex Pin and pins Gage....1.....two and a half! Josh gets up slowly as he picks up Gage again and Back Drops Gage onto the board of wood between the two chairs. The board snaps in half as Gage lifts his arms up and quickly gets up and rolls out of the ring. Gage is down on the floor and comes back in and Josh kicks him in the gut and hits him with a piece of wood. Gage goes down as Josh goes over to the broken glass and puts it all in a pile. He then puts some of the glass in his shirt and in his hand. He walks over to Gage and drops the handful of glass onto his face! Then he drops the shirt full of glass onto him as well! Quickly Josh runs into the ropes and hits a leg drop onto his face! Oh my god, his face is cut up! Josh squints in pain as he gets up and pulls the piece of wood with the chain linked fence nailed to it into the middle of the ring and pick sup Gage again. Josh then picks up Gage and drops his body weight onto his knee. Gage’s nuts get driven into Josh’s knee as Josh picks him up and powerbombs him into the fence! Gage rolls around in pain as he rolls out of the ring and walks around a little bit. Josh follows him and Gage looks at the fans and grabs something from the fan and then hits Josh over the head with it. Gage then picks up Josh and starts to rub it against Josh’s face! It’s a damn cheese grater! Josh’s face gets cut up and his skin peels off as Gage rolls into the ring and gets the fence board. Gage picks up the huge board and slams it onto the back of Josh Prohibition. Josh bends over as Gage jumps onto the guard rail and leg drops Josh’s back with the chain linked fence on his back! Both are down. Gage, Gage is up! He taunts to the crowd as he picks Josh up and throws him into the ring and then pulls out a bag. Two bags! Gage holds them up as the fans chant “Fuck Him Up” and over again. Gage rolls in the ring as he empties one of the bags and its thumbtacks! Oh my god, thumbtacks everywhere! Gage picks up Josh and puts his between his legs and holds his arms out. Gage picks him up and drops him. Standing Tigerbomb on the tacks! Josh lies in the middle of the ring with tacks in his back and everywhere. Gage then rips off his shirt and then takes the other bag and puts in the corner. He takes a piece of glass and rips it across his back a couple times and now Josh has these four or five huge gashes on his back. Gage then smiles as he takes the other bag and pours it out onto his back. SALT! Oh my god its salt, salt is in the cuts and everything this is sick! The fans start to cheer as Josh screams in pain and Josh is out. Gage picks him up and throws him into the empty corner and them puts him onto the top rope and puts his head like a powerbomb position and has Josh up! Gage runs towards the other corner with the barbwire bed and does a Running Powerbomb into it! Josh is stuck in the barbwire as he is just not moving. Gage runs to the other side and kicks him right in the face! Gage pins him....1....2...NO! Oh man, Josh won’t give up! Gage gets pissed as he picks him up and some of the barbwire is still sticking and places him in front of the explosive board. He places him in front of it and runs into the other corner like he is going to spear him. Gage runs towards Josh but no! Josh Back Body Dropped Gage into the board! Oh my god the whole screen goes white for a couple of seconds and there is flames and shit everywhere! Gage is folded up as Josh falls back onto him....1....2...3! Josh wins it! Josh slowly but ok gets up and falls down across the ropes. After a while both men come up and Josh’s music stops playing. Gage and Josh stumble to their feet and both men after a while stand in the middle of the ring. Gage, holding his back, and Josh, hold his ribs, look at each other as the fans start to chant “Match Of The Year” numerous of times over and over again. Gage puts his hand out and Josh looks around the crowd. Josh then extends his hand and both men shake. Gage then rolls out of the ring with the respect from Josh and goes to the aisle to the back. Josh stands in the ring listening to the fans chant and cheer for him. Then, out of nowhere Zandig’s music hits and he starts to walk down the aisle. He walks past Gage and into the ring. Zandig them starts to speak....

Zandig: Wait, wait, wait! Josh, Gage.... you two don’t shake hands! What are you crazy! Just because you two shook hands I have something for you two! At the next Suicide card, both of you, “Hardcore” Nick Gage will vs Josh Prohibition!

Josh and Gage smile in respect for each other and seem alright with it.

Zandig: But no, not just any regular match. As you know what you just saw is unbeatable! So, this match will be a Cage match. But, don’t you guys say ok yet! Who ever loses, will be FIRED!!!

The fans boo Zandig as the two look at each other and Gage just leaves with disgrace look on his face. Josh is standing in unbelief! Zandig moves as the scene cuts to the ring later that day when the ring is somewhat clear of all the glass and stuff? It’s getting dark now as the workers are setting up the next match with the UHW’s Two Hundred Light Tube Match coming up next. They are putting piles of thirty light tubes in each corner witch is one hundred and twenty light tubes. Then all around the ring about eighty light tubes are scattered around the ring ropes. Then, wait what! They are putting one light tube in the middle of the ring. two hundred and one light tube match? The ring announcer then speaks.....

Ring Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, the two hundred light tube match is now a two hundred light tube match plus the light tube fill with thumbtacks in it! Introducing first, the challenger......New Jack!

New jack makes his way to the ring with his garbage can filled with “toys” and walks into the ring with the opening in it. New Jack is in the ring.....

Ring Announcer: In this one fall to a finish match, introducing next.....Nate.....Hatred!

Match 5: Nate Hatred vs New Jack-Two Hundred Light Tube + The Thumbtack Light Tube Match

Nate Hatred runs to the ring and slides in as the bell sounds and he picks up the middle light tube. I think that's going to go fast! Both men have a stare down as Nate has the thumbtack light tube and New Jack grabs a parking sign from his garbage can and each taunt each other with there weapons. Nate looks around to the crowd and New Jack thinks fast and hits him with the sign, Nate goes down as New Jack gets the light tube from his hand. Nate gets up as New Jack cracks it over the head oh Hatred. The light tube does not break! New Jack tries it again and it still doesn't break! New Jack throws it down and picks up Nate and whips him into the ropes! Nate falls as about five or ten light tubes break over his back. New Jack picks up Nate and puts him in a press slam and drops him onto more light tubes. Almost all twenty on that side are gone! New Jack then takes Nate and picks him up into a slam and slams him onto the log cabin of light tubes in that corner! New Jack pins him....1.....2...NO! Hatred is out as New Jack picks him up and cracks a light tube over his head and is down again. New Jack climbs the turnbuckle and calls for a knee drop. New Jack jumps off but no, Nate puts a light tube in front of him and New Jack’s new lands right onto it! Oh my god that light tube is in his leg we need some help out here. New Jack is in a lot of pain as the light tube is sticking out of his leg and Nate picks up the thumbtack light tube and picks up New Jack and smashes it over his head and it breaks! Thumbtacks fly everywhere as Nate Hatred pins New Jack with his foot....1......2....3. It had to be over. Soon after the match, paramedics come out and help New Jack onto a stretcher and roll him to the back. You can see the light tube seriously half way into New Jack’s leg! Wait, wait, Nate Hatred has a mic!

Nate Hatred: Now, I think we should continue this match. Not tonight, obviously he is out. But New Jack, I challenge you to the Tourtament of Death in the following weeks! Now I am waiting for an answer, but I won’t want long!

Nate drops the mic as he rolls out of the ring and his music plays and the UHW cuts to a short break....

When the UHW returns it shows it shows the workers setting up the No Rope Barbwire Match. The workers have taken out the ropes and are now wrapping it with barbwire. Not just three spools of barbwire but the whole length of the ring is covered in barbwire. There is an opening big enough for anyone buy the side of the ring. The announcer then comes in the ring and introduces the next match.

Ring Announcer: Introducing first, for the No Rope Barbwire Match! Mad...Man...PONDO!

Mad Man Pondo makes his way to the ring and slides into the opening.

Ring Announcer: Introducing next, for the No Rope Barbwire Match, this is....LOBO!

Match 6: Lobo vs Mad Man Pondo-No Rope Barbwire Match

Lobo makes his way into the ring and Pondo attacks him early in the match and the bell sounds. Pondo starts to kick at the gut and then picks him up and knees him into his stomach. Mad Man Pondo lifts Lobo up and struggles as Lobo gets back down and starts to punch at his gut. Lobo reverses the grapple and then suplex’s him! Lobo then picks him up and hoists him into the corner. Pondo gets hit hard and screams in pain. Lobo runs to him as Pondo reverses it and picks him up and drops his head on the turnbuckle padding. Pondo kicks him in the gut as he puts him in a suplex position again and then drops him onto the barbwire, stomach first! Lobo falls out of the ring as his shirt is ripped and blood starts to trickle down from his gut. Pondo them backs up and climbs the turnbuckle. Pondo jumps off and flying into Lobo which sends him down again! Pondo gets up and sets him onto a table that was outside. Pondo then, takes him off? Pondo has a better idea as he rips his head across the barbwire and blood starts to pour out of his head. Pondo then sets the table up and then sets up another. He asks the fans for chairs and hits Lobo with them first before setting them up, on the table!? Pondo sets up about five or six tables and then asks the fan for something. They give him a big STOP sign that is wrapped like an X in barbwire. He places that in all the chair mess and then takes out a ladder. Pondo hits Lobo in the head with it first, then throws it in the ring. Pondo throws Lobo in the ring as well by sending him into the barbwire mess again. Pondo climbs onto the apron and goes in by the turnbuckle. Lobo is still down as Pondo takes the ladder and sets it up in the corner. He pick sup Lobo and Scoop Slams him into the ladder! Pondo takes the ladder and sets it up. He tries to bring Lobo up onto the first step, and Lobo follows! Mad Man Pondo as him by the edge of the ladder and puts him in a powerbomb position and walks onto the other side! Pondo takes a deep breath and then jumps off the ladder! Both of them go crashing through the table! Both men are out as the ref starts to count.....1.......2........3...........4.........5 ........6......7........8.......9.............10! Both men have been counted out as the bell rings and the announcer speaks.

Ring Announcer; Ladies and gentlemen as a Double Count Out! This is a.......

Zandig’s music plays as he walks onto the entrance way with a mic.

Zandig: No, no, no! You see because this match is now a Two Out Of Three Falls, No Rope Barbwire match up! And that first fall, the first fall, did not count! Hahaha......

Zandig exits the ring as the fans boo him on.

Ring Announcer: Ok, ladies and gentlemen this match is now a Two Out Of Three Falls! No Rope Barbwire Match up!

The bell sounds again as the first match begins....again. Lobo starts to get up as the ref counted to three and slowly picks himself up and leans against the railing. Lobo looks at the crowd as all sorts of shouts tell him what is going on. Lobo shakes his head and picks up Pondo. He puts him in a powerbomb position and drops him onto the broken tables and such! Lobo covers Pondo.....1.......2....NO! Lobo gets up and pulls the stop sign from under his back and it rips at his back again. Lobo waits for Pondo to get up and then cracks the barbwire street sign over Pondo’s head. Pondo goes down as Lobo jumps in the air and leg presses the sign into Pondo’s face! Lobo gets up as he screams “Let’s Get Extreme!” Lobo then looks under the ring and pulls out some matches! Lobo drops the matches by the ring and picks up Lobo and smashes his face against the railing. Lobo then takes the matches from the ground and lights one and then lights the whole packet on fire. Then he lets it drop onto the table and it sparks up a little bit. Lobo smiles and puts his finger up and then goes under the ring and gets....LIGHTER FLUID! He pours some into the pit and then it explodes with flames. Lobo laughs as the flames simmer down and he picks up Pondo. He puts him in a powerbomb position and then drops him into the flames! Oh my god, the crowd goes crazy as they are seeing a man being burnt alive, right in front of there eyes! Pondo goes man, no pun intended, and gets up and runs and rolls around the hard cement. The fire goes out as Lobo smiles and shakes his finger like he is saying “No” Lobo picks up Pondo and pushes him into the burnt table and everything. Pondo just lays there, exhausted, as Lobo picks up the stop sign again and gets two chair from the mess. He sets up both of the chairs and then the stop sign in the middle of the two. Lobo gets Pondo up and Back Body Drops him onto it. Pondo goes crazy as Lobo stops him and pins him........1.......2.....NO!?!? Lobo looks confused as so does the audience! Lobo picks up Pondo and whips him into the open area of the ring and he's back in the squared circle again. Lobo looks under the ring and pulls out a bag, and then a big box of something. Thumbtacks, again? Lobo runs into the ring and holds up the bag. He pours out the bag and....and its crushed glass! Millions and millions of pieces of crushes glass! Lobo goes over to the big box and rips it open. He opens it and its about twenty.... light BULBS! Lobo takes one tries to crack it over Pondo’s head and all you hear is a big thud! Pondo is woozy as he stumbles back into the turnbuckle. Lobo says “Screw it” as he pours out the box of light bulbs and they all go into the crushed glass as well. Lobo slides out of the barbwire ring and climbs the turnbuckle from the outside. He gets inside again and then grabs Pondo. Lobo then picks up Pondo and turns him around, no way! He is going to drop Pondo from the top turnbuckle into the ring! But no, Pondo has gained some what of a upper hand and flips Lobo over him and he goes crashing into the glass! Oh my god, Pondo stand up on top of the ring and jumps off doing a big splash and pins Lobo........1..........2.....NO! What the fuck is it going to take to get Lobo down! Pondo slowly gets up by himself and then takes Lobo’s head and scrapes it across the barbwire. Lobo is bleeding even more as he was before. Pondo then screams as he slides out of the ring and goes and gets a table. And then some light tubes. He slides them all in the ring but Lobo kicks the table into his face. Lobo kicks the table out of the ring and takes the two light tubes and climbs the turnbuckle. When Pondo turns around Lobo jumps off the top rope and hits both tubes into the face of Pondo. A “Holy shit” chant starts up as Lobo taunts with the crowd. Lobo turns back around to a head but right to the face and Lobo stumbles backwards. Pondo then takes him up the ramp and hits him into the railing along the way. Pondo takes Lobo backstage as the camera follows. They are in this weird area as Lobo fights back and hits Pondo into a huge red pole. Pondo goes down as Lobo finds a small little blue crate. He takes Pondo and sets him onto his shoulders and lets him down. Lobo backs up and piledrives him onto it! It does not crack, just dent as Lobo goes for the pin backstage.....1......2.....NO! Pondo is even more indestructible! Lobo gets up as Pondo gets up and Lobo hits him with the blue crate. Pondo goes down and rolls outside the curtain as Lobo follows. Lobo then points to the eighteen wheeler that “Sick” Nick Mondo and Messiah are going to fight on and walks thought the crowd to it. “Hey, you can’t fight on that, it needs to be saved for the match!”. Lobo doesn’t listen to the worker near by as he slams Pondo into it and then screams as he opens the truck door in the back! Lobo throws Pondo into the back of the truck and jumps into it as well. He push him into the truck and back and fourth he goes back and fourth Lobo hits Pondo into the steel sides of the truck. Pondo, knocked out, Lobo takes him and puts him in a pulling piledriver position and performs it! Pondo’s head crashes off the steel and Lobo pins him........1.......2.........3!

Lobo gets the first fall as he relaxes and falls back into the truck even more. Both men take a breather as Lobo gets up and drags Pondo out of the truck and takes his head and finds a table nearby. He then kicks Pondo in the nuts and then throws him onto the table. He then finds this ladder and places it on it. Lobo signals for the top of the truck as he goes up there. Before he gets up there Pondo suddenly shifts and gets up. He goes over to Lobo and runs up the other side of the truck. Both men get to the top of the truck as the fans cheer Lobo on. They throw punches back and fourth. This is the main event early! Punches fly back and fourth and then Lobo kicks him in the nuts again. Lobo them put him in a powerbomb position and then drops him on his head! Lobo pins him.....1.......2......NO! Lobo gets pissed so he picks up Mad Man Pondo and takes him over to the ledge. He puts him on his shoulders and wants to drop him. But no, Pondo reverses it and slides down his back. Lobo turns around and Pondo puts him on his shoulders and jumps off the ledge! Death Valley Driver off the truck through a table! Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit! A chant breaks out as Pondo lands hard onto Lobo and the ref pins........1.....2.....3! The match is evened out!

Both are out as the ref starts to count again.......1.........2.........3..........4...... ....5..........6 Lobo gets up to his feet! Wait, so does Pondo! There both to there feet and are woozy, stumbling and staggering everywhere. They go into the crowd as Lobo goes towards the ring, not such a safe place either. Lobo rolls into the ring and just chills out in the corner, busted wide open and is a bloody mess! Same with Pondo as he goes through the crowd and rolls into the ring as well but Lobo kicks him and stomps on his back. Lobo picks him up and cradles his head between his arms and quickly does a Spinning DDT onto the glass! Lobo pins Pondo........1.........2.......Pondo got his left shoulder up! This is simply amazing as Lobo gets up and climbs to the second rope. He screams as he jumps and does a leg drop. Pondo moves as he lands hard onto the glass. Pondo gets up and suplex’s him by the glass as well. Pondo takes his arm and twists it behind him and does a armbar from there! He holds it on tight and there is now place to go, no ropes or nothing as Lobo struggles out of it and puts Pondo into a head lock. Pondo whips him into the corner but Lobo over powers him and knocks him down. And then he runs to the side and then runs back with a knee drop. Lobo picks up Pondo and tells a worker to set of a table near by. He sets it up and tells a crowd member to give him a chair. He gets a chair and hits it over the back of Pondo, it bends. Pondo then gets up and he crackes it over his head and it fits right around him. Lobo then, out of breath, picks him um and stumbles to the barbwire rope and throws him over the ropes through the table! The fans chant Lobo’s name as he rolls out of the ring and pins him..........1............2........He kicks out! Oh man, Lobo looks like he is going to collapse as Pondo low blows him and pulls himself up from the railing. Pondo takes part of the wooden table that broke straight in half and sets it up in the ring apron corner. He picks up Lobo and whips him into it. Lobo breaks through it again as Pondo pins him.......1........2.....NO! Not enough as Pondo tells a fan to give him a weapon and a weapon the fan gives him! The fan gave Pondo a barbwire brick! Pondo looks at it and laughs and shakes his head as he picks up Lobo and hits it over his head. He takes him from his knees and then DDT’s him onto the brick! Pondo pins him again.......1.........2.....Not yet! Oh my god what is it going to take. Pondo gets pissed as he picks up Lobo but no! Lobo pick shim up and drives his spine right into the ring post outside! Lobo looks under the ring and pulls out two cinderblocks and places them far away from each other. He as for a chair and lays it on the two cinder blocks. He then goes and picks up Pondo and puts him in a Styles Clash sort of position and drops him on his head and the back of his neck! Lobo pins him for a three count......1..........2.......NO! Holy shit, the fans chant again as this match reaches close to an hour! Lobo takes Pondo and whips him back into the ring. But Pondo stops and slides back out and kicks Lobo in the nuts and takes the chair and hits him in the back. Lobo goes to his knees and Pondo takes him and puts him in a piledriver position and walks over to the cinderblock! Oh my god, Pondo drops Lobo with a piledriver onto the cinderblock. The cinderblock smashes into pieces as Pondo lays down onto him......1.........2.........3! Pondo wins....Pondo wins....Pondo wins! Lobo is knocked out as Pondo picked him up and rips his thumb across his throat as the fans boo him even more and rolls him back into the ring and then picks up Lobo and puts him over his head and holds his head and drops him like that onto the glass! The bell sounds numerous of times. Pondo just Emrial Fusion Lobo onto the big pile of glass! Pondo steps on his face as he leaves him a bloody mess..........What what what! Lobo starts to crawl to his feet. He pulls himself up form the turnbuckle and asks for a mic. Lobo sounds very tired and is breathing heavily.

Lobo: Mad....Man.....Pondo! Your a tough son of a bitch!

Pondo turns around

Lobo: That's right, you! You beat me tonight. But in two weeks, is the.....Tourtament Of Death! Now I know that both of us are in it. But you and I are going to go down in the record books. Do you know how long we fought! Around an hour and a half that almost two hours of pure hardcore wrestling these die hard fans just witnessed! Now are you going to come down to this ring and shake my hand until next time. Or are you a pussy!

Pondo looks around the crowd and starts to walk down the ring and slides in with a pissed off face, kind of since you can’t see it behind all the blood.

Mad Man Pondo: I don’t have to shake your hand because I am the one standing tall! Your the one on your knees. But you know what, I will ask Zandig and tell him that both of us are in the Tourtament. And that both of us want a match.

Pondo goes over to Lobo and helps him up. Lobo backs up and Pondo extends his hand.

Pondo: Forget about it man? Good match!

Lobo looks around the crowd and shakes his bloody hand with his bloody hand and Lobo turns around.

Pondo: Hey Lobo!

Lobo turns around and Pondo spears him right into the barbwire! Oh my god that sick son of a bitch! Lobo flew into the barbwire and is stuck! Pondo then slides out of the ring. The UHW cuts to a break after this awesome match and Mad Man Pondo’s bloodied face in the screen trash talking with the fans booing.

When the UHW comes back from the break it shows the truck and then you hear Messiah’s music blare over the speakers and Messiah walks out. He walks around to the truck and then starts to climb the ladder attached against it. Messiah gets on top of the truck.

Ring Announcer: Introducing first.....the challenger......Messiah!

“Cut my life into pieces, this is my last resort. breathing don’t give a fuck about breathing” Papa Roach glares over the speakers as those words are said and the fans stand up on there feet. The music keeps going as Nick Mondo comes out and runs up to the truck and starts to climb the ladder. He gets on top of the truck as he does his “Mondo” sign and then the bell sounds before the Ring Announcer can speak.

Main Event: “Sick” Nick Mondo vs The Messiah-Truck Match-Heavyweight Championship Title

Both of them are staring at each other as Messiah puts his hand out. Mondo looks around and shakes his hand as Messiah kicks him in the gut! Messiah grabs a light tube from the mess of weapons and breaks it over Mondo’s back. Mondo tensions as he back is covered in white light tube dust and is bleeding. Messiah picks up Mondo and puts his head in arm and DDT onto the steel and glass. Messiah rolls over Mondo and takes his head and twists it. Mondo screams in pain as he starts to fight back and punches him in the face. Messiah give in and Mondo gets up and kicks Messiah in the gut. Mondo then takes his face and smashes it into the steel. Sick Nick Mondo then goes over to the end of this huge truck and picks up a chair wrapped in barbwire and brings it back and hits Messiah over the back with it. It sticks to his back as Mondo leg drops his back and Messiah goes down. Mondo rolls him over and pins him......1...kick out at a one count. Mondo picks up Messiah and takes him over to the edge and steps on his nuts! Oh man Messiah is in a lot of pain. Messiah is down as Mondo takes another steel chair and places it in the middle of the truck and then takes another one and sets it right in front of it. Mondo then gets a couple of light tubes and places it there. He keeps one and smashes it over the back of Messiah again. Mondo picks up Messiah as he follows him and Mondo powerbombs him threw the glass and all! Mondo bridges the powerbomb and pins Messiah......1......2.....NO! Mondo then screams that it is over as he brings Messiah over to the edge that has the four tables, about fifty light tubes, and two chairs on it and all stacked up. Mondo kicks him in the gut as he puts Messiah onto his shoulder...he wouldn't! Yes, Mondo jumps off the truck! ASSAULT DRIVER....ASSAULT DRIVER....ASSAULT DRIVER! Assault Driver through the tables chairs and glass! Oh my god! This match is over! Mondo pins him.......1.........2.......3 NO! Oh my god the same exact time the refs hand came down Messiah’s shoulder came up! Mondo thinks he has one as he gets up and celebrates and Messiah gets up slowly and runs at him and clips his leg. Mondo is down as Messiah picks him up and throws him into the building. I can’t believe Messiah is standing! Mondo tries to escape by climbing the building ladder but Messiah follows and there one the building! Mondo kicks Messiah in the gut but Messiah doesn't feel it. Messiah then takes his head and X-Factors him! Wow, haven’t seen that move in a while. Messiah pins Mondo.....1.......2.........Messiah picks up his shoulder and smiles. Messiah picks up Mondo and brings him to the edge. There about two feet away from the truck as Messiah picks him up and turns him and suplex’s him off the edge. No, no wait. Mondo landed on the other side of the truck! Mondo gets up a little as he looks at Messiah and laughs. Mondo takes a light tube and throws it at Messiah. Messiah moves as he jumps down off the ladder and starts to climb the truck! Messiah makes it to the edge as Mondo steps on his fingers. Messiah powers it out as he pulls himself up but Mondo break a light tube over his head and is bleeding. Mondo picks up Messiah and pulls him into the truck area. Mondo then kicks him in the gut and DDT’s him onto the steel again. Mondo goes to the side of the truck as he gets about five light tubes and puts them on the ground. Mondo picks up Messiah but no! Messiah spears him into the glass. Mondo rolls around in the glass as suddenly the truck moves! What the fuck! Messiah falls down but gets back he shrugs his shoulders at the crowd and continues to crush the glass. Messiah picks up Mondo and puts him on his shoulders and flips him onto the glass. Messiah then looks at the crowd and looks like he has an idea. He does as he picks up Mondo and walks to the front of the truck and takes him by the windshield the camera follows as they get a front view of it and Messiah drops Mondo onto the windshield and it breaks. Mondo rolls off the truck in a bloody mess as Messiah taunts to the crowd over the truck. But what? Suddenly Messiah falls gets dragged into the front seat! Messiah is nowhere to be found as you see a black hand come out of the door and goes and gets Mondo. He places Mondo onto Messiah and Messiah has this HUGE gash on his forehead. This man or whatever is wearing all black and has a black ski mask. Mondo pins Messiah, I guess........1.......2.........3! Oh my god Mondo got cheated out as Mondo falls back onto the ground and the man walks up onto the truck and walks over to the edge. He then looks around the crowd and takes off his pants reveling black pants again, just another style. He then takes off his shirt having no shirt on with scars all over his back. The fans cheer as they have somewhat of an idea of who it is? Then finally this man takes off his mask and its.......................WIFEBEATER! Oh my god I though we would never see Wifey again! Wifey looks around the booing crowd because he helped put Mondo get the win Mondo is the new World Heavyweight Championship but Wifey is back! Oh my god what a show, what a show! UHW comes to an end as it shows Wifebeater’s face looking into the camera smiling. The UHW’s Suicide Saturday’s first show fades off...........

THANK YOU! What do you guys think?
....................Triple H....................

You may not like them, But.......I do!
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Old 17 Jan 2004, 06:23 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Mr. Submission is a god damn rich cunt.Mr. Submission is a god damn rich cunt.Mr. Submission is a god damn rich cunt.Mr. Submission is a god damn rich cunt.Mr. Submission is a god damn rich cunt.Mr. Submission is a god damn rich cunt.Mr. Submission is a god damn rich cunt.Mr. Submission is a god damn rich cunt.Mr. Submission is a god damn rich cunt.Mr. Submission is a god damn rich cunt.Mr. Submission is a god damn rich cunt.

no offense, but i wont be reading any of that. 1) its people i don't know. 2) its too long. 3) its written by a jeff hardy mark.
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Old 17 Jan 2004, 06:26 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I am not a Jeff Hardy mark, I just don't feel like chaning my name, this is my firends name. And I said only for people that know what CZW is so don't come in here. And its only long becuase I wrote it and if you want to do a show, it needs to be more thne a couple lines then some shit i have seen so........
....................Triple H....................

You may not like them, But.......I do!
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