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I have some poetry here...
 
 
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Old 22 Nov 2002, 02:15 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Cool I have some poetry here...

These are just some words that I have put together. I would appriciate you telling me what you think...


It is titled "What Would Happen"

What would happen...
If you were not in my life.


What would happen...
If you left my heart.

What would happen...
If you didn't care.


What would happen...

I would not be compleate.



Again I hope you tell me what you think.


Thanks.
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Old 22 Nov 2002, 02:42 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: I have some poetry here...

Quote:
Originally posted by HBK_Rocks1
These are just some words that I have put together. I would appriciate you telling me what you think...


It is titled "What Would Happen"

What would happen...
If you were not in my life.


What would happen...
If you left my heart.

What would happen...
If you didn't care.


What would happen...

I would not be compleate.



Again I hope you tell me what you think.


Thanks.
you spelled complete wrong. it is good for a start...you lost me and it seemed to just stop after the next to last line...you had a good intro of the poem a good base but you could have a better ending..this is just my opinion..but to each his own..these are your words and you have they creative right..but i would suggest doing a different ending maybe..but it does have a good concept
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