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moral dilemma
 
 
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Old 13 Nov 2002, 08:21 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default moral dilemma

oh, here's a situation i'm currently mired in, and i'd love some advice......
you know, what's your two cents on the whole situation.

there's a girl in my program in the college, who over the course of the last few months has become quite close with me.

we are extremely flirtatious, and intimate to a degree (and no, i'm not getting into details........)


but that's where the dilemma starts.

you see, she does have a boyfriend, but she claims that she's not happy all the time with him. She's told me she loves the fact that i can always make her laugh and make her happy whenever she's feeling down. It's obvious to us both, and to people around us that there is incredible chemistry between us (and a more than obvious sexual tension between us both.

anyways, this is where it gets tricky. I'm not really the type of man to steal some guys' "kool aid" so to speak........but i honestly do have underlying feelings for her. I'm worried that time is slowly running out on me and her.
but i'd feel really bad if i broke her and her boyfriend up, and then for some reason we didn't work out.

aaaargh. I'm confused. anyone got any advice to possibly help me out?
anyone else been in this cliched situation?

drop your thoughts here.
 
Old 13 Nov 2002, 08:26 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: moral dilemma

Quote:
Originally posted by Tyler Durden
oh, here's a situation i'm currently mired in, and i'd love some advice......
you know, what's your two cents on the whole situation.

there's a girl in my program in the college, who over the course of the last few months has become quite close with me.

we are extremely flirtatious, and intimate to a degree (and no, i'm not getting into details........)


but that's where the dilemma starts.

you see, she does have a boyfriend, but she claims that she's not happy all the time with him. She's told me she loves the fact that i can always make her laugh and make her happy whenever she's feeling down. It's obvious to us both, and to people around us that there is incredible chemistry between us (and a more than obvious sexual tension between us both.

anyways, this is where it gets tricky. I'm not really the type of man to steal some guys' "kool aid" so to speak........but i honestly do have underlying feelings for her. I'm worried that time is slowly running out on me and her.
but i'd feel really bad if i broke her and her boyfriend up, and then for some reason we didn't work out.

aaaargh. I'm confused. anyone got any advice to possibly help me out?
anyone else been in this cliched situation?

drop your thoughts here.
my advisce Tyler....would be to tell her how you feel
she needs to know and if you don't let her know you could miss out on something great
Odds are she is wandering about the idea as well
and if that is in her head her current relationship pry wont work out anyway

You owe it to yourself and to her to give it a shot
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Old 13 Nov 2002, 08:27 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Brother, the only thing you can do is make yourself happy. ANd if this woman makes you happy then you do your best to get her in your life. By any means nessecary. If she is not happy with him, then I'm sure that things are going to break off between them anyway. Why not profit from a preexisting situation. I say go for it...
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Old 13 Nov 2002, 08:31 PM   #4 (permalink)
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I can see the moral dilema..as I would also feel the same way..andhave before in a similar situation, what my advice to u would be is ...basically be blunt and see what her take on this is...and if she is all "gung ho" for it...u cannot feel responsible for her decision of her leaving this guy to be with u.
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Old 13 Nov 2002, 08:32 PM   #5 (permalink)
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sounds like u n her could really have a good relashionship.......and my adive to u is to take the chance with her....cuz then u'll probably be thinking...what would have happened if i HAD gone out with her?? U 2 sounds like yall got some major chemistry....and even tho she might break up w/ her boyfriend that doesnt make her happy most of the time....she'll have u...and u;ll have her all to urself! I hope this helps!

-WhiteWolf
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Old 13 Nov 2002, 08:40 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Well TD, let me tell you a little story...true story that is....

About 7 years ago, i had a friend who i worked with, we had a relationship somewhat similar to the one you described above. But she had a boyfriend and was unhappy with him. I wanted to ask her out, but didnt want to be the one to break them up.

But finally i convinced myself to tell her how i felt, but was sure to let her know i wanted to pursue the relationship only if she was sure about breaking off her current relationship. So what happened?....

She broke it off with him and we have been happily married for 5 years now. In short...go for it...
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Old 13 Nov 2002, 08:44 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: moral dilemma

Quote:
Originally posted by Tyler Durden
oh, here's a situation i'm currently mired in, and i'd love some advice......
you know, what's your two cents on the whole situation.

there's a girl in my program in the college, who over the course of the last few months has become quite close with me.

we are extremely flirtatious, and intimate to a degree (and no, i'm not getting into details........)


but that's where the dilemma starts.

you see, she does have a boyfriend, but she claims that she's not happy all the time with him. She's told me she loves the fact that i can always make her laugh and make her happy whenever she's feeling down. It's obvious to us both, and to people around us that there is incredible chemistry between us (and a more than obvious sexual tension between us both.

anyways, this is where it gets tricky. I'm not really the type of man to steal some guys' "kool aid" so to speak........but i honestly do have underlying feelings for her. I'm worried that time is slowly running out on me and her.
but i'd feel really bad if i broke her and her boyfriend up, and then for some reason we didn't work out.

aaaargh. I'm confused. anyone got any advice to possibly help me out?
anyone else been in this cliched situation?

drop your thoughts here.
wow all this time I thought you were gay.
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Old 13 Nov 2002, 09:12 PM   #8 (permalink)
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hehe if i were u ...GO FOR HER! hehe well thats just me
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Old 13 Nov 2002, 09:16 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Re: moral dilemma

Quote:
Originally posted by Next_Big_Thing


wow all this time I thought you were gay.
damn, brother, that was cold. funny, but cold.
 
Old 14 Nov 2002, 09:34 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Re: Re: moral dilemma

Quote:
Originally posted by Tyler Durden


damn, brother, that was cold. funny, but cold.
I'm just playin with you.
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