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Could Yall Tell me what u think?
 
 
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Old 15 Oct 2002, 09:47 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Arrow Could Yall Tell me what u think?

Here is a story I've started on tonight it's for english and we have to write a "scary story". Eh...well..anywho...tell me what u think..I'm not finished tho...but i will b hee hee

On late hollows eve a boy the name of James Freebird was watching horror movies as any sixteen-year-old boy would. After finishing the last movie he had rented, James headed up into his room. Then when entering his room he heard an eerie voice say his name. James knew it could not have been his mother or his father for they were on a business trip. Five seconds after he had heard the first voice he heard the same voice say, “You cannot hide.” James shook his head and looked franticly around his room to see someone there…but no one was in his room except him. James started to tell himself that it was only his mind playing tricks on him.

Twenty minutes had soon passed and he had not heard an eerie voice and started to relax. James started to think that one of his friends was just playing a trick on him to scare him. Suddenly he heard a voice…the same from before in his room… calling out his name once again. Then the lights started to flicker on and off and he ran from his room to the living room that was downstairs. Cold sweat started to drip from his forehead down to his shirt. Then mysteriously a raven appeared and all of the lights went out.

The raven was pitch black and his eyes were glowing red almost as if it was a demon. The raven seemed to be looking at the floor yet it seemed to know every move James made. Now James was panicking. It was raining, the raven came out of nowhere, and he was hearing weird voices.
Suddenly the raven spoke into James mind “You can run boy, but you cannot hide. You can think whatever you wish, but I can hear that.”

Now James not knowing what to do except he was corned and there is nowhere else to go. James then saw a black figure moving towards him from the hall. It was not the raven for it was still perched there in its same position is was when it appeared.
As the black figure came nearer to James the fireplace lit with fire. The raven moved from his position to the mantle right above the fireplace. The figure was becoming clearer now. It was wearing a black trench coat, a dark brown gangster hat and pitch black shoes and socks. Its face was pale as chalk and with dark “bags” underneath his eyes…almost as if he were dead.


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Old 15 Oct 2002, 09:54 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Pretty Good. I give it a thumbs up!
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Old 15 Oct 2002, 10:00 PM   #3 (permalink)
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So far so good. Can't wait for the rest.
 
Old 15 Oct 2002, 10:03 PM   #4 (permalink)
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hee hee thanks guyz!

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Old 15 Oct 2002, 10:03 PM   #5 (permalink)
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GOOD JOB!!! I can never finish writing a story
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Old 15 Oct 2002, 11:44 PM   #6 (permalink)
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better than the shitty "myth" i had to write for eglish class...............

good job WW
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Old 15 Oct 2002, 11:46 PM   #7 (permalink)
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which reminds me, i have an essay due tomorrow and i'm not done
 
Old 15 Oct 2002, 11:51 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Nice Job WhiteWolf.
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Old 16 Oct 2002, 02:21 AM   #9 (permalink)
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good job WW...if you get stuck just take some parts of the friday the 13th threads i made...and soon to come to PWF, the PWF halloween story, it's almost finished! but again good job WW
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Old 16 Oct 2002, 07:17 AM   #10 (permalink)
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thanks yall! I'll probably get some more of it done when i finish my exams...i useaully have like 5 extra min. after i go over my exam and turn it in and all so I'll try n get some more done today and l8er tonight...but I gotta split now...i have to go 2 school and face those HORRIBLE exams :P

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