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Old 16 Aug 2003, 08:16 PM   #1 (permalink)
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10._"Howard the Duck"_(1986, Universal)
Budget: $37 million
U.S. Box Office: $16 million
The Plot: Based on Steve Gerber's '70s Marvel comic-book character and executive produced by George Lucas, this charmless, pun-filled fowl-fest centers on a smart-aleck quacker from another planet who's accidentally beamed into Cleveland, where he hooks up with punk rocker Lea Thompson, battles various villains using "quack-fu," and saves the planet.
Turkey Trivia: Lucas reportedly spent $2 million on the duck suit, in which eight separate actors waddled their way into film infamy. "Howard" also contained one of the most disturbing seduction scenes ever: After Thompson's character discovers a condom in the birdman's wallet, she coos, "You think I might find love in the animal kingdom?" Ew.
_
What the Critics Said: "The movie is too scuzzy to beguile children, too infantile to appeal to adults ..." -- Richard Corliss, Time
The Aftermath: Lucas escaped unharmed from the debacle, but director/co-writer William Huyck wasn't so lucky. Despite co-writing credits on "American Graffiti" and "Indiana Jones_and the Temple of Doom," his career was effectively over. Meanwhile, Universal head Frank Price quit shortly after the film was released. Variety reported the news thusly: '''Duck' Cooks Price's Goose.''

9._"Hudson Hawk"_(1991, Columbia TriStar)
Budget: $60 million-plus
U.S. Box Office: $17.2 million

The Plot: A reformed cat burglar (Bruce Willis, who also co-wrote) is blackmailed into stealing priceless Leonardo da Vinci artifacts. The heist flick features Willis and fellow thief Danny Aiello warbling ditties such as "Swingin' on the Star," which might explain this piece of dialogue: "I'll torture you so long, you'll think it's a career."
Turkey Trivia: Before a single frame of film had been shot, TriStar shelled out a cool million to construct da Vinci's gold machine, the film's first big sight gag. And once filming was completed, more moolah was reportedly needed to digitally buff up Willis' fading hairline.
_
What the Critics Said: "A movie this unspeakably awful can make an audience a little crazy. You want to throw things, yell at the actors, beg them to stop. But the film drags on, digging horrible memories into the brain ..." Peter Travers, Rolling Stone
The Aftermath: "Hudson" swept the 1991 Golden Razzies, "winning" Worst Picture, Worst Screenplay, and Worst Director for Michael Lehmann, whose career was heavily dinged. Willis, whose vanity project this was, survived several more bombs (e.g., "The Last Boy Scout," "Striking Distance," "Hart's War") and is still going strong._

8._"Ishtar" (1987, Columbia)
Budget: $55 million
U.S. Box Office: $12.7 million
The Plot: Warren Beatty and Dustin Hoffman insult the memory of the Bob Hope-Bing Crosby "Road" movies in this Elaine May-directed desert-set tale of two supremely untalented singer-songwriters who land a Moroccan gig but make a pit stop in the fictional kingdom of Ishtar. Soon, they're embroiled in an extremely volatile Middle East political situation, which, if possible, is even less funny now than it was then.
_
Turkey Trivia: Notorious perfectionist May spent months editing the film, reportedly turning in a print only when the studio threatened legal action.
What the Critics Said: "This movie is a long, dry slog. It's not funny, it's not smart and it's interesting only in the way a traffic accident is interesting." -- Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times
The Aftermath: The stars, who pocketed a then-impressive $5.5 million apiece, emerged relatively unscathed from what was billed as the most expensive comedy ever made. Hoffman won an Oscar the following year for "Rain Man," but May never directed again, preferring to stay behind the scenes as a writer (e.g., "Primary Colors," "The Birdcage"). The film's title is now synonymous with movie bombs: Kevin Costner's_gill-filled "Waterworld" was infamously dubbed "Fishtar," although at least that movie eventually broke even.

7._"Inchon" (1981)/"Battlefield Earth" (2000, Warner Bros. Pictures)__
Budget: $50 million/$73 million
U.S. Box Office: $1.9 million/$21.5 million
The Plot: A truly dire moment in the Laurence Olivier oeuvre, "Inchon" finds the famed thespian committing multiple dramatic atrocities as he channels Gen. Douglas MacArthur in this failed Korean War epic. In "Battlefield Earth," it's the year 3000 and humans are slaves. In the campiest performance this side of a Judy Garland imitator, John Travolta plays a dreadlocked, platform-shoed 7-foot alien baddie named Terl, who was "groomed from birth to conquer galaxies." Too bad he wasn't groomed to conquer the box office.
Turkey Trivia: We've paired these turkeys together because of their spiritual connections. Namely, "Inchon" was produced by Rev. Sun Myung Moon (he of the mass marriages) and his Reunification Church, while "Battlefield Earth" was based on a novel by L. Ron Hubbard, the founder of the Church of Scientology. Travolta, a vocal proponent of the religion, was instrumental in getting the film made.
_
What the Critics Said: "The worst movie ever made." -- Multiple reviewers on "Inchon"
"A million monkeys with a million crayons would be hard-pressed in a million years to create anything as cretinous as 'Battlefield Earth.'" -- Rita Kempley,_Washington Post
The Aftermath: "Inchon" was quickly pulled from theaters, and Moon has thankfully shied away from making more movies. As for "Battlefield Earth," Travolta had no remorse, even though the film collected seven Razzies, tying the record haul of "Showgirls." "The bottom line is that I feel really good about it," said the unrepentant star, who has threatened to make a sequel. Yeah, good luck with that. Travolta subsequently bombed in follow-up fare such as "Domestic Disturbance" and "Basic."

6._"Cleopatra" (1963, 20th Century Fox)
Budget: $44 million ($259 million today)
U.S. Box Office: $26 million ($153 million today)
_

The Plot: Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton begin an adulterous on-set affair that turns into a worldwide media sensation. Oh, the plot of the movie. Once billed as the most expensive film of all time (and might still be champion), this Joseph Mankiewicz-directed historical costume epic stars Taylor as Cleopatra and Burton as Marc Anthony. There are some truly amazing sets and a cast of thousands (literally).
_
Turkey Trivia: Four years in the making, "Cleopatra" went through seven writers, two directors (Mankiewicz finished it, reportedly with the help of some stress-relieving uppers and downers), and the near-death of its leading lady (Taylor came down with meningitis and had an emergency tracheotomy, delaying production for months). The actress received an unheard-of million-dollar payday to essay the Queen of the Nile, a fee that reportedly ballooned to $7 million with all the overtime. A four-hour version debuted to tepid critical response in New York in June of 1963.
_
What the Critics Said: "A monumental mouse." -- Judith Crist, New York Herald Tribune
The Aftermath: Though "Cleopatra" was the highest-grossing movie of 1963 and was nominated for nine Oscars (it won four), it wasn't enough to rescue 20th Century Fox, which was fighting to survive. To save money, the studio shut down for four months, forcing 2,000 people out of work, and sold off its expansive back lot. The era of extravagant historical epics was over, and Mankiewicz's career suffered the consequences. Oh, and Taylor and Burton married and divorced_... twice.
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Old 16 Aug 2003, 08:19 PM   #2 (permalink)
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5._"Heaven's Gate"_(1980, United Artists)
Budget:_$44 million
U.S. Box Office: $3 million

The Plot: If you can untangle the epic plot, give yourself a prize. This much we know: Michael Cimino directed this Western based on the 19th-century Johnson County wars. It stars Kris Kristofferson, Christopher Walken, John Hurt, Sam Waterston and Isabelle Huppert. Beyond that, you're on your own.

Turkey Trivia: The film's original budget of $11.5 million ballooned as the out-of-control and unsupervised Cimino shot and reshot. The egomaniacal auteur, whose contract stipulated that the film be no longer than three hours, ended up shooting 1.5 million feet of film, enough for several feature-length movies. The original cut, which debuted in New York, clocked in at nearly four hours and was eviscerated by critics.
_
What the Critics Said: "An unqualified disaster." --Vincent Canby, the New York Times
The Aftermath: The massive failure of "Heaven's Gate" forced the fire sale of United Artists to MGM. It also helped usher in a new era of corporate bean-counting, marking the end of a decade of groundbreaking cinema. Cimino, who had earned so much good will (not to mention a Best Director Oscar) for "Deer Hunter," became persona non grata in Tinseltown and was reduced to making lousy movies ("Desperate Hours," "Year of the Dragon") with a post-fame Mickey Rourke.

4._"The Postman"_(1997, Warner Bros.)
Budget: $80 million to $100 million
U.S. Box Office: $17.6 million

The Plot: In a post-apocalyptic future, a Shakespeare-quoting mail carrier (Costner, who also directed) leads mankind to rebel against its oppressors. A grateful nation repays the messiah-like postal worker by erecting a massive statue in his image. Is it any wonder audiences guffawed at the riotously earnest trailer, which contained such clunkers as, "I don't think we ever really understood what letters meant to us until they were gone."
Turkey Trivia: In addition to putting three of his kids in the three-hour-plus movie, Costner took a page from Bruce Willis' handbook and showed off his vocal skills (or lack thereof) by dueting with Amy Grant on Lovin' Spoonful's "You Didn't Have To Be So Nice" over the closing credits. We're guessing the six people who actually sat through the credits weren't impressed.
_
What the Critics Said: "Goofy and gee-whiz when it isn't being post-apocalyptic glum, it is such an earnest hodgepodge that only by imagining 'Mad Max'_directed by Frank Capra can you get even an inkling of what it's like." -- Kenneth Turan, the Los Angeles Times
The Aftermath: Costner's post-"Dances With Wolves" directorial follow-up seriously cramped Warner Bros. earnings in 1997 and swept the Razzies, winning Worst Picture, Worst Actor, Worst Director, Worst Screenplay and Worst Song. Onetime golden boy Costner continued to make bad choices, including such duds as "3000 Miles to Graceland" and "Dragonfly."


3._"Town & Country"_(2001, New Line)
Budget: $85 million to $90 million
U.S. Box Office: $6.7 million
The Plot: Peter Chelsom, who previously helmed the Sharon Stone dud_"The Mighty," directs this middle-aged sex comedy starring Warren Beatty and Garry Shandling as very married men caught cheating on their wives (Diane Keaton and Goldie Hawn).
Turkey Trivia: If the words "middle-aged sex comedy" weren't enough to scare off audiences, then the long-term bad buzz probably was. Three years in the making, "Town" went into production without a script, a surefire recipe for disaster. Soon, its original $40 million budget was spiraling as the flick went through rewrite after rewrite, with Chelsom reportedly shooting a Cimino-worthy 1.3 million feet of film. The studio, which had bumped the film's release date a whopping 13 times, made a last-ditch attempt to reach its target market — women over 25 — by running a rare profanity-filled "red band" trailer before R-rated movies. It didn't work.
What the Critics Said: "It is one of the most chaotic and puerile movies ever made, full of tasteless adultery and some downright offensive vulgarity ... It is awful to see talented stars without a clue as to who they are supposed to be portraying or what they are supposed to be doing." -- Liz Smith, the New York Post
The Aftermath: Chelsom, who's currently directing Jennifer Lopez and Richard Gere in "Shall We Dance," remains bitter about the experience, telling the Post, "Warren insisted on dozens of script changes and reshoots. He now wants to pretend that he was just one of many actors following directions like everyone else. It's ridiculous and insulting." Beatty, who dropped out of Quentin Tarantino's_upcoming "Kill Bill," hasn't made a movie since "Town & Country."


2._"Cutthroat Island"_(1995, MGM/Carolco)
Budget: $100 million-plus
U.S. Box Office: $9.9 million
The Plot: A swashbuckling Geena Davis_hits the high seas opposite Matthew Modine in a pirate movie directed by Renny Harlin. 'Nuff said.
Turkey Trivia: Michael Douglas was originally tapped to play the male lead, but jumped ship after Davis' role was bulked up by hubby Harlin. Keanu Reeves, Liam Neeson, Jeff Bridges, Ralph Fiennes, Charlie Sheen and Michael Keaton all reportedly turned down the role before Modine signed on. Among the little extras that helped push the original $65 million budget past the $100 million mark: Harlin commissioned — at a million bucks each — working replicas of battle-ready 17th-century ships.
_
What the Critics Said: "'Cutthroat Island' is a bloated, jokey production whose motto, no doubt tattooed on the back of some poor assistant director's neck, could well be, 'When in doubt, blow something up.'" -- Kenneth Turan, the Los Angeles Times
The Aftermath: "Cutthroat" failed to shiver anyone's timbers: It was yanked from theaters after a mere two-week run. Carolco, the company that financed the dead-in-the-water movie, went down with the ship. A year later, Davis and Harlin re-teamed for "The Long Kiss Goodnight," which also failed to ignite the box office. A year after that, the couple split up.


1._"The Adventures of Pluto Nash"_(2002, Warner Bros.)
Budget: $90 million to $100 million
U.S. Box Office: $4.4 million

The Plot: Eddie Murphy is a suave nightclub owner tussling with the mob. Oh yeah, it's the year 2087, and his bar is on the moon.
Turkey Trivia: "Nash," which had been in development since 1980, sat on the shelf for two years before crash-landing in theaters. Murphy refused to promote it, though we can hardly blame him. What could he say about a movie whose trailer begins, "Somewhere between Earth and Uranus, you'll find Pluto Nash"?
_
What the Critics Said: "Eddie Murphy delivers his lines with that weirdly relaxed, fake-enthusiastic bonhomie that telegraphs, just below the surface, a what-am-I-doing-here? bafflement desperate enough to match Elvis Presley's in his worst bombs." -- Owen Gleiberman, Entertainment Weekly
The Aftermath: "Pluto" took in a paltry $2.2 million in its opening weekend, with Variety's Peter Bart declaring it "Instant Ishtar" and adding that its opening "seemed more like a boycott than a bow." Murphy followed up with back-to-back bombs "I Spy" and "Showtime" before retreating to the safety of the kiddie genre, where he hit with "Daddy Day Care."
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Old 16 Aug 2003, 08:29 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I was pretty sad to see Star Trek Nemesis do so poorly. I think it only made 55 Million in the US. box office.
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Old 16 Aug 2003, 08:30 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Howard the Duck ruled. all I am saying
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Old 16 Aug 2003, 08:36 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by Trevelbond
I was pretty sad to see Star Trek Nemesis do so poorly. I think it only made 55 Million in the US. box office.


Star Trek: Nemesis

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Released in US
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Total US Gross
$43,119,879
Production Budget
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Prints and Advertising Budget
$33,000,000
Franchises
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Distributed by
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Old 16 Aug 2003, 08:40 PM   #6 (permalink)
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oh yeah lmfao, I read thar article at msn.com. Pluto Nash looked like a horrible movie and appearently... pretty much everyone in the US agreed lol.
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Old 16 Aug 2003, 09:21 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by Wyk3d £¡£ §yN
Star Trek: Nemesis

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Released in US
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Total US Gross
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Franchises
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Distributed by
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Wow thanks, even worse than I thought. Sad days for all us trekkies.
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Old 16 Aug 2003, 09:24 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Pluto Nash looked like it was a suckfest from the commercial...
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Old 16 Aug 2003, 11:53 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Eddie Murphy died years ago...the REAL Eddie would never have done all this family friendly CRAP

Howard sucked monkey testicles
Hudson Hawk is one of my favorite movies dammit
Ishtar was horrible....one of the most painful things I've ever endured
Battlefield Earth was a tragedy damn Scientoligists Fuck them all
Cleopatra may have bombed but it was one of the finest pieces of cinema ever produced
Heavens Gate..look at the cast , if you still watch it its your own fault
The Postman reason 7 why Kevin Costner should be executed publicly
Town and Country , c'mon did you expect anything else?
Cutthroat Island...I still wake up screaming
Adventures of Pluto Nash...reason 12 why I hate this fake Eddie Murphy



...Howard the Duck btw is still the scariest movie I've ever seen, and was George Lucas's greatest shame uptil Episode One The Phantom Piece of CRAP
 
Old 16 Aug 2003, 11:56 PM   #10 (permalink)
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I loved Bowfinger..Eddie was very good in that..
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Old 16 Aug 2003, 11:58 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Suprisingly....When you watch Nemesis...It's a real good movie... Some plot holes...As well as a lack-luster Villian...But all in all a sad ending to TNG when they deserve alot better...
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Old 16 Aug 2003, 11:59 PM   #12 (permalink)
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shit,my digital cable box gave Waterworld 3 out of 4 stars.
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Old 17 Aug 2003, 12:02 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Quote:
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shit,my digital cable box gave Waterworld 3 out of 4 stars.
Your Cable Box has done a bad thing....take a hammer to it immediately
 
Old 17 Aug 2003, 12:07 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Wow now I've seen all these shit movie do so bad I wonder if anyone could give me a name of a good movie to rent out, preferably a under-rated but good movie.

(Kinda like Office Space)
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Old 17 Aug 2003, 12:08 AM   #15 (permalink)
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thats not all...The Postman has 3 1/2 out of 4 stars,dances with wolves has 4 out of 4 stars..Battlefield Earth has 1 1/2 out of 4..
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