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Old 01 Jun 2003, 05:10 AM   #1 (permalink)
Drk~ngl
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Default Rate please poem

The last few weeks i've been doing a lot of writing though dark and sickening but that's me. Looking for some honest critics here.
I have a lot of these written, some i'll share some I won't but I want to see if I get any honest opinions here first.

Bullets of Life




Bullet of life

white collar, black suit, what proof?
blood stain, fucked and slain
so afraid of telling the truth
crosses, gold, fuck it all
nail you up against the wall
model of christ, holy fashion
on display, hear us laughing?
dondan's dream is now of neptune
and his gun is pointed straight at the moon

find a bullet if it makes you happy
put it in your gun
grab the grenade and pull out the pin
lose the war you've already won.

decadence is my only sin
I lose what I've already won
stopping before I begin
confused, restricted, and dumb
the walls, the television, the lives that your saving
are falling apart, they're all satan, your faking the truth
you say this can help me, now where is the proof?

stop pointing your fingers
look at yourself
the guilt will linger
you're so scared of hell
step back and see
before mocking me
I'm putting holes in your bible-belt

I found a bullet and it makes me happy
to put it in my gun
I'm sad for the lives, you want, you take
it feels so good to put holes in your head
stop bleeding and die for fuck sake.
 
Old 04 Jun 2003, 07:11 PM   #2 (permalink)
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fuck that sucks so much ass you should have entitled it "Mr. Marbles"...... naw man i just kiddin it was good
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Old 07 Jun 2003, 05:33 PM   #3 (permalink)
New And Improved, again.
 
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Wow man,thats pretty sweet,did you have any inpiration at this?Where di you wright this?
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Old 07 Jun 2003, 09:24 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Yeah i've been with someone on and off for the last 9 months and there's been a lot of road blocks for us, and things that boggle the mind as to how they can happen one after the other.

The last month i've written well over 200 pieces be it stories, poems or even music and she's been the reason for most of it as well as the loss of a few friends who passed away. Figured i'd share a piece or two and get some feedback.
 
 


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