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What Ethnicity was Jesus?
 
 
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Old 19 Apr 2003, 02:15 PM   #1 (permalink)
KawasakIcon
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Default What Ethnicity was Jesus?

There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:
1. He called everyone "brother".
2. He liked Gospel.
3. He couldn't get a fair trial.


But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:
1. He went into His Father's business.
2. He lived at home until he was 33.
3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his mother was sure he was God.


But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:
1. He talked with his hands.
2. He had wine with every meal.
3. He used olive oil.


But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:
1. He never cut his hair.
2. He walked around barefoot all the time.
3. He started a new religion.


But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:
1. He never got married.
2. He was always telling stories.
3. He loved green pastures.


But the most compelling evidence of all---3 proofs that Jesus was a woman:
1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was no food.
2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it.
3. And even when he was dead, He had to get up because there was more work to do.
 
Old 19 Apr 2003, 02:19 PM   #2 (permalink)
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your answer is simple

i am white so there's your answer because god just pretends to be me
 
Old 19 Apr 2003, 02:26 PM   #3 (permalink)
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The title made me think of a verse in a Tech N9ne song. Here it is for your benefit and enjoyment.

If I offended you in anyway
Maybe the shoe fits
Either that
Or you're just plenty gay
If you're like me
You don't give a damn
You're just enjoying the flow
To all the people
Who were offended
I'm about to offend you some more
Is God
White
Brown, Green, Red
Or even Blue
Is he American
Arabic, Mexican
Or even Jew
Everybody wanna be the special
And wanna be the chosen few
Everybody wanna be
But they're gonna be
Through
Till
You do right by me
Everything that you do
Is gonna be whack
Everything you built
Is 'bout to crack
Everything you did to me
Is coming back
Nowhere to scat
And I say that
Cause I know Jesus Christ
And God is Black
And they coming back nigga
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Old 19 Apr 2003, 02:30 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Hey depressed liqured boy. IM me. Or check your damn PMs.
 
Old 19 Apr 2003, 02:38 PM   #5 (permalink)
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liqour boy? bitch don't make me go traceypro on your candy ass
 
Old 19 Apr 2003, 02:47 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: What Ethnicity was Jesus?

Quote:
KawasakIcon said in post # :
There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:
1. He called everyone "brother".
2. He liked Gospel.
3. He couldn't get a fair trial.


But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:
1. He went into His Father's business.
2. He lived at home until he was 33.
3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his mother was sure he was God.


But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:
1. He talked with his hands.
2. He had wine with every meal.
3. He used olive oil.


But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:
1. He never cut his hair.
2. He walked around barefoot all the time.
3. He started a new religion.


But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:
1. He never got married.
2. He was always telling stories.
3. He loved green pastures.


But the most compelling evidence of all---3 proofs that Jesus was a woman:
1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was no food.
2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it.
3. And even when he was dead, He had to get up because there was more work to do.

Thats pretty funny.
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Old 19 Apr 2003, 02:56 PM   #7 (permalink)
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1. Jesus was Jewish, however the Jews of the Middle East and North Africa two thousand years ago, were not white. Jesus may not be "black" but he was not white either.

2. The Jews gave Jesus up, and he was arrested by the Temple Guard, which were Jews.

3. Jesus did not mean to form two seperate religions (Judism, and Christianity), but Peter (who we would now call the first Pope) and Paul did not agree with James and his direction of the "church" upon Jesus' passing. James wanted to bring the church back to a more traditional Hebrew/Jewish belief, while the two deciples of Jesus, Peter and Paul, whom formed the Christian faith, decided to preach the word of Jesus Christ, which was more or less based upon the Old Testament, and buddist beliefs that were formed in India and Asia more than 500 years before he was born.

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Old 19 Apr 2003, 03:02 PM   #8 (permalink)
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a few more facts

Jesus may have actually been married. if you like, I will pm you the stories in the bible and the clues.

Jesus had at least 4 brothers and two sisters. Jesus was obviously, by virtue of belief, the first born.

As many as 20 books are missing from the new testament. Including Jesus' where-a-bouts from the ages of 12-32 years old.

Verifiable evidence shows that Jesus visited India, and studied buddism as a young teenager. His basic message, are also the founding principles of buddism.

Jesus was offered opium and wine on the cross, but refused to be drugged to be numb from the pain. As his statement was the ultimate statement in life.
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Revelations 6:8 "And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth."

"I agree. I'll make the announcement now. Congragulations on your victory. You truly are the best the Warzone has had in a while. Here is your new custom banner to signify the bitches you've gone through in the past month. Please post it in your sig. It's my honor to hand it to you." -------Marbles

www.myspace.com/psychojimstunts

<a href="http://s101.photobucket.com/albums/m46/psychojimstunts/?action=view&current=pJspimped2.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i101.photobucket.com/albums/m46/psychojimstunts/pJspimped2.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>
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Old 19 Apr 2003, 03:06 PM   #9 (permalink)
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interesting
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Old 19 Apr 2003, 04:35 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Sure Taylor you can do that. Anyways you ALLL...this was meant to have fun with. =)
 
Old 19 Apr 2003, 04:39 PM   #11 (permalink)
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man you posted this on every forum that you're registered on didn't you?

Still, pretty funny.
 
Old 19 Apr 2003, 04:41 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Yeah all both of them I did. LOL
 
Old 19 Apr 2003, 04:45 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Quote:
I Killed God said in post # :
liqour boy? bitch don't make me go traceypro on your candy ass
What are you gona do? Sit on me?
 
Old 19 Apr 2003, 04:45 PM   #14 (permalink)
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lol, that's what i meant.

so are you ip banned from pw?
 
Old 19 Apr 2003, 04:50 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Jesus was Jewish. But that fucking traitor left Judaism because he couldn't take having to have a brain.

Anyway, I don't care anymore.
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