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My Dog Called Sex
 
 
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Old 11 Apr 2003, 10:14 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Toof , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Toof , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Toof , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Toof , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Toof , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Toof , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Toof , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Toof , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Toof , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Toof , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.Toof , if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.
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err My Dog Called Sex

Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I would like to have one too!" Then I said, "But she is a dog!" He said he didn't care what she looked like. I said, "You don't understand. ... I have had Sex since I was nine years old." He replied, "You must have been quite a strong boy." When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around Sex." He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding. The next day we were married at the Justice of the Peace. My family was barred from the church from then on.

When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me. When we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my wife and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the motel is a place for sex. I said, "You don't understand. ... Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Me too!"

One day I entered Sex in a contest. But before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around. I told him that I was going to have Sex in the contest. He said that I should have sold my own tickets. "You don't understand," I said, "I hoped to have Sex on TV." He called me a show off.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married but Sex left me after I was married." The Judge said, "Same here!"

Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over for her. A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning. I said, "I'm looking for Sex." -- My case comes up next Thursday.

Well now I've been thrown in jail, been divorced and had more damn troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw. Why just the other day when I went for my first session with the psychiatrist, she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble?" I replied, "Sex has been my best friend all my life but now it has left me for ever. I can't live any longer being so lonely." and the doctor said, "Look mister, you should understand that sex isn't a man's best friend so go get yourself a dog."

Ok now the topic. What has been the weirdest name you have heard someone called a dog?
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Old 11 Apr 2003, 10:38 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Old 11 Apr 2003, 10:45 AM   #3 (permalink)
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My dad called his dog Fuckface
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Old 11 Apr 2003, 10:54 AM   #4 (permalink)
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we also had a cat named sebastion but we all called him sebastard lol
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Old 11 Apr 2003, 11:04 AM   #5 (permalink)
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my friend named his dog shitbrick
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Old 11 Apr 2003, 11:08 AM   #6 (permalink)
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my dad's cat was just "Fucking Cat" lol
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Old 11 Apr 2003, 11:35 AM   #7 (permalink)
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I know a guy who named his dog deyoji. Get it?
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Old 11 Apr 2003, 12:05 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Yes D-O-G My friends dogs name is that.

Well my dog is Spooky, and thats unusuall.
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Old 11 Apr 2003, 12:09 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Old 11 Apr 2003, 02:13 PM   #10 (permalink)
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i used to have a dog named kitty lol and my friend has a dog named tit and they call him titty lol
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Old 11 Apr 2003, 04:25 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Look at this hippocrate you post crap like this and then turn around and throw Mr. Marbles' threads in the recycle bin!!!
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Old 11 Apr 2003, 04:36 PM   #12 (permalink)
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I have had....

a heinz 57 named "Boonie"

a Pomeranian with the registered name "Bethony's CareBear" (how gay, I was only 2) but we always just called him "Bear"

a Chiuaua, registered name was "Barnacle Bill" Just called him "Barnacle"

a half English Setter & half Brittany Spaniel named "Dallas"

and my current Maltese "Taik"

...Taik & Dallas were the only ones I named.
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