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What are some of your sexually perversions?
 
 
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Old 01 Apr 2003, 08:47 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default What are some of your sexually perversions?

Heres my one and only.


My perversion consists of these thoughts of of shrinking people down to about six inches or so and placing them in my anus and letting them crawl around until i have a massive orgasm and they get chrushed by the tighting of my anus and i have to pull their lifeless bodies out of my butt with the help of a pair of hemostats and then i eat them. Just imagine the feeling of leaving a six inch person in your anus moving around trying to escape i mean just the power you would get from doing this making someone do what they would normaly refuse and then killing them as you climax.
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Old 01 Apr 2003, 08:52 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Uhhhh .... m'kay?
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Old 01 Apr 2003, 08:54 PM   #3 (permalink)
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One morning, I woke up bleary eyed and had a bit of a headache. I'm quite
a 'natural' person and don't like taking perscription drugs, THEY MAKE ME
FUCKING BOIL. As a youngboy my grandmother always taught me the best way to
aleviate a headache was to pull myself off so I began a rhythmic stroking of my
erect member. I was enjoying my ritualistic morning massage and my cock was
resembling a baby's arm holding an apple, (a rotten apple) but the problem was
I couldn't spray seed! There was no way I was going to work without firing both
bolts so I called in sick - Lie no.1. Now this often happens with me and I
think work are wise to my ways. They probably could tell I was wanking because
of the slapping noise and heavy breathing. I've also got a video phone and I
was naked when I spoke to the secretary or the 'Knot-sucker' as I like to call
her.. Anyway they insisted I provide a doctors certificate, mmmm. I wasn't
going to let that crosseyed slut get the better of me so I told her that I'd
get a certficate and when I next saw her I'd "FUCKING SET LIGHT TO IT AND FORCE
UP HER MAGGOT FILLED CUNTHOLE". (I blamed that torrent on the headache, she
didn't notice thankfully)..At that point I finally bolted and hung up on the
whore but to my shock I discovered that I had just told my second lie of the
day - I DIDN'T HAVE A BABY'S-CHANCE-IN-MY-FLATMATES-BEDROOM OF GETTING A
DOCTORS CERTIFICATE!!! I spent the rest of the morning in blind panic, rushing
around the flat and falling over things, forcing things up my arse, etc. When I
finally came to about 3 hours later I removed all the sellotape from my
lacerated body, put some clothes on, cleaned up the blood and shit, had a wank
and set out to the doctors. That cocksucker was gonna damn well get me a
certificate or my name's Fred West! On the way to the bus stop, a motorcycle
courier asked me the way to St.Pauls, In a trice, I flayed his toilet parts and
screeched at him "FUCK OFF YOU DEVIL RAPER, I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE I AM!!"
Things were getting out of control, I was breaking into a cold sweat as I
realised I just told Lie No.3. The bus journey to the doctors is now just a
blur. Fleeting glimpses of the worry in an old hags eye, small, torn limbs, ear
splitting cracks, high pitched wailing, muffled sobbs and standing ankle deep
in blood and urine are all I can manage. I don't think it's important. What I
can be sure of is that I didn't tell any more lies in that place. At the
Doctors things went from bad to worse I had to tell two more lies to get in the
waiting room and I don't care to let you know what they were. I froced my way,
slashing and cursing through the crowds and finally got the doctors room. A
terrible din was going on in there. The Doctor looked like a cross between dale
winton and a burns victim. He was four foot 9 with a hunch back and his breath
smelled like he'd been using dogshit for toothpaste. There was a flayed,
disabled mong under is desk gobbing him off, "hhhhelloo, he said, HHHHow can I
hhelp you?" The room stank of dog shit I was feeling sick. I had to act fast. I
whipped out my God Shocker and told the doc I couldn't bolt, and hadn't done
for several weeks, I needed a certificate. The lies were spilling out of my gob
like syrup from a pigs cock. The doc brushed off the mong, lept from his desk
and checked out my rotten meat. He filled a syringe full of rat poison and
pumped the contents down my hogs eye, and told me to continue the treatment for
the next 3 months. At that point I fainted. I'm now writing this from a
hospital bed. I haven't been to work for 6 months now and don't think I'll be
going back. My job involved a lot of walking, I was a stalker. But due to the
rat poison I've lost my cock, balls and legs. My feet are fine. I had them
flayed and sellotaped to my back. What I thought was the local doctors surgery
was in fact the local mental home. Most of the residents are now dead after the
bungled rescue from the armed swat team. I've now re-christened my 'laptop' to
my 'caloustomy top'. Surfing the net It's the only fun I get these days apart
from wanking off my piss tubes. So my advice to you is go to work stop lying,
stop wanking, Fuck off, Drink shit and suck off demons. I hope you've all
learned a valuable lesson from my cuntish behaviour.
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Old 01 Apr 2003, 08:59 PM   #4 (permalink)
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You went to things-i-have-done.com didn't you?
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Old 01 Apr 2003, 09:00 PM   #5 (permalink)
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YUP

But this one i made up


This may sound a bit strange but I was driving back from a friends house the
other night and I ran over this fox. It died.

I took it home to bury it the next day, but upon waking - I discovered I had an
erection. Not wanting toi waste it I went downstairs to find something to fuck.
Low and behold my eyes fell on the dead fox in the lounge. Before I knew it I
was on all fours really fucking this dead fox like a man possessed.

After I bolted I then ate the fox.
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Old 01 Apr 2003, 09:01 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Quote:
STICK Schizo said in post # :
You went to things-i-have-done.com didn't you?
He sure did, lol.

The first one he posted in the "will I be a rapist" or whatever happen to be one of the stories I read on the site that one night.
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Old 01 Apr 2003, 09:02 PM   #7 (permalink)
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LMFAO, that site is fucking funny as hell isn't it?
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Old 01 Apr 2003, 09:04 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Hi there! Yes, i am still alive, here in sunny Bolivia.
Right at the end of the war, Adolf was so frustrated, so i assfucked him, so he
would feel better.
He licked it very much, because Eva Braun wasn't keen on sex. So he had few
good hours, before he fled with the plane to a secret place i can't tell you -
sorry. But it's in the US. So try to find him.

Euer alter und gebrechlicher
Hermann
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Old 02 Apr 2003, 06:04 AM   #9 (permalink)
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crikey
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Old 02 Apr 2003, 06:58 AM   #10 (permalink)
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thats whack
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go shawty, its yo birthday, we gon' party like its yo birthday, we gon' sip Bacardi like its yo birthday, and you know we dont give a fuck its not yo birthday!

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Old 02 Apr 2003, 07:29 AM   #11 (permalink)
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^Sure is
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Old 02 Apr 2003, 07:30 AM   #12 (permalink)
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You guys think im kidding dont you?
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Old 02 Apr 2003, 07:36 AM   #13 (permalink)
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I hope you are...
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Old 02 Apr 2003, 07:40 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Yeah i am......or am I?
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Old 02 Apr 2003, 07:52 AM   #15 (permalink)
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You have to be......riiight?
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