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The Purple Box
 
 
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Old 30 Mar 2003, 08:49 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Wink The Purple Box

There once was this kid named ted.
Ted was getting the crap beat out of him by some bully.
The bully told ted to tell everyone that it was the purple box that did it to him
well, ted went back to class, and a student ran up and asked what happened.
it was the purple box.
well the teacher came in and said omg! what happened ted?
it was the purple box.
go to the principle's office ted!
ted went to the principles office
WHAT HAPPENED TED?!
it was the purple box.
dammit! go to the superintendent!
so ted went.
geeze ted, what happened?
it was the purple box.
THAT'S IT! go to the board of education now!
so ted went.
omg, ted... what the hell happened?
it was the purple box.
don't talk like that here ted! we're calling your parents!
mom and dad came and asked what was wrong.
it was the purple box.
fuck you ted! you're going to military school!
ted went to military school and was confronted by a student.
hey ted, who beat you up?
it was the purple box.
uh oh, we better get our instructor...
the instructor came over
ted, i heard you were talking about the purple box.
you must be the chosen one. come with me.
he led ted down to a dark tunnel and told him to crawl as far as he could, until he reached a large room.
well, ted crawled and crawled and eventually came upon a large room.
OMG! there's a huge bear in this room! ted jumped back! he realized he had to fight the bear in order to proceed. well, ted eventually killed the bear and went to the next room. in this room there was a thousand scorpions with wings. ted dodged all of them and made it to the next room. well he continued fighting all these monsters for about 40 more rooms.
finally, ted reached the outside. he saw a huge sign that said, "Purple box, straight ahead, better hurry!"
Ted ran across the street, dodging cars left and right, and entered the building. he read another sign that said purple box this way.
so he ran where the sign pointed and went up 50 flights of stairs.
there was a door with a purple handle.
before ted could open it, a giant mutated piece of cheese attacked him. ted thought it was all over... ted realized.... THAT HE WAS HUNGRY! He ate the entire piece of mutated cheese. he got up and began to open the door...
all of the sudden a time portal whipped him back to the past, with a horrible case of amnesia to boot!
Ted was getting the crap beat out of him by some bully.
The bully told ted to tell everyone that it was the purple box that did it to him
well, ted went back to class, and a student ran up and asked what happened.
it was the purple box.
well the teacher came in and said omg! what happened ted?
it was the purple box.
go to the principle's office ted!
ted went to the principles office
WHAT HAPPENED TED?!
it was the purple box.
dammit! go to the superintendent!
so ted went.
geeze ted, what happened?
it was the purple box.
THAT'S IT! go to the board of education now!
so ted went.
omg, ted... what the hell happened?
it was the purple box.
don't talk like that here ted! we're calling your parents!
mom and dad came and asked what was wrong.
it was the purple box.
fuck you ted! you're going to military school!
ted went to military school and was confronted by a student.
hey ted, who beat you up?
it was the purple box.
uh oh, we better get our instructor...
the instructor came over
ted, i heard you were talking about the purple box.
you must be the chosen one. come with me.
he led ted down to a dark tunnel and told him to crawl as far as he could, until he reached a large room.
well, ted crawled and crawled and eventually came upon a large room.
OMG! there's a huge bear in this room! ted jumped back! he realized he had to fight the bear in order to proceed. well, ted eventually killed the bear and went to the next room. in this room there was a thousand scorpions with wings. ted dodged all of them and made it to the next room. well he continued fighting all these monsters for about 40 more rooms.
finally, ted reached the outside. he saw a huge sign that said, "Purple box, straight ahead, better hurry!"
Ted ran across the street, dodging cars left and right, and entered the building. he read another sign that said purple box this way.
so he ran where the sign pointed and went up 50 flights of stairs.
there was a door with a purple handle.
another time portal appeared, but ted dodged it, by a hair!
ted entered as quickly as possible and saw a large purple box.
it was moving. and made a ticking noise.
TED HAD TO OPEN IT! but he couldn't. there was a thick string wrapped around it.
just then, ted noticed a pair of scissors in the corner. he ran over, picked them up, turned around, ran towards the box, fell, and killed himself.
The morale: Don't run with scissors.
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Old 30 Mar 2003, 12:23 PM   #2 (permalink)
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