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Rate my poem, please!
 
 
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Old 26 Mar 2003, 07:47 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Rate my poem, please!

I wrote this poem for school. It was entered into a contest and won the county-wide contest... I haven't recieved the state-wide results yet... here it is!

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The world underwater is so wonderful and yet so horrifying

The creatures may swim at as they please but not too slow

The fish may eat how they wish but not what they wish

The young may glide but not into the mouth of the larger

The creatures may hide where they would like but not where others do

The fish may touch what they would like but not the fisherman’s hook

The creatures may live in the clear water but not the black water

The fish may surround divers but at their own risk

The gates of hell are not a threat to fish yet death is

The ocean surrounds most of the earth yet it’s not cherished

The sandy depths of the bottom are not the heavens

The sunny tops of the ocean are not visited by choice

The toilet bowl has become home to many of the ocean’s creatures

The fish comes as pets to humans when humans are the minority

The underwater castle is home to the eel but prison to the fish

The ocean is no longer a magical world but a giant trash can

The fish tolerate the garbage in their homes and the deaths of their family

The world despises the fish’s home but not their own

The grandest world of them all is the grandest graveyard

The greatest place on Earth is now the greatest show on Earth
 
Old 26 Mar 2003, 07:51 PM   #2 (permalink)
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its good period but for a 12 year old, looks like something douglass adams would write
 
Old 26 Mar 2003, 10:12 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I think it's an awsome poem, I give it a 10.
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Old 27 Mar 2003, 08:57 AM   #4 (permalink)
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pretty good.
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Old 27 Mar 2003, 05:54 PM   #5 (permalink)
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edit: what i meant to say the first time was its good period, but great for your age...
 
Old 29 Mar 2003, 05:40 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Thanks!
 
Old 30 Mar 2003, 05:52 PM   #7 (permalink)
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pretty cool....
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Old 02 Apr 2003, 06:49 PM   #8 (permalink)
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good
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