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Jokes to Break the Ice
 
 
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Old 20 Feb 2003, 05:16 AM   #1 (permalink)
2Gangsta
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Default Jokes to Break the Ice

A prostitute went to visit a colleague in the hospital just before she was about to have a heart transplant.

The woman, concerned about her friend's welfare, went up to the surgeon who was going to perform the operation and said, "Doctor, I'm worried about my friend. What if her body rejects the organ?"

The doctor replied, "Well, she's 34 years old and is in extremely good health, apart from her heart. How long has she been in the business?"

The patient's friend replied, "She's been working since she was 18 years old, but what's that got to do with anything?"

"Well," said the doctor, "if she's been working for 16 years and hasn't rejected an organ, I don't think she's about to start now!"
 
Old 20 Feb 2003, 05:17 AM   #2 (permalink)
2Gangsta
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Default IS WINDOWS A VIRUS?

No, Windows is not a virus. Here's what viruses do:

They replicate quickly. (Okay, Windows does that)

Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so. (Okay, Windows does that)

Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk. (Okay, Windows does that, too)

Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems. (Sigh... Windows does that, too)

Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow and the user will buy new hardware. (Yup, that's with Windows, too)

Until now it seems, Windows is a virus but there are fundamental differences: Viruses are well supported by their authors, are running on most systems, their program code is fast, compact and efficient and they tend to become more sophisticated as they mature.

So, Windows is *not* a virus!
 
Old 20 Feb 2003, 05:18 AM   #3 (permalink)
2Gangsta
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Default SPAM I AM

My name is Spam.
Spam I Am.
I have some stuff I'd like to sell.
Take a look! It's really swell!

I do not want your worthless spam.
I do not want it, Spam I Am.

Spam I Am:
$500 software that really rocks!
Just 20 bucks--still in the box!

You are really full of bunk.
I do not want your bootleg junk!
I do not want your worthless Spam.
I do not want it Spam I Am.

Spam I Am:
How about some fast cash?
Fifty Thousand in a flash!!!

How stupid do you think I am?
I won't join your shady scam.
You are a sucker, you silly gitch.
If it worked, we'd all be rich!
I do not want your worthless spam.
I do not want it Spam I Am.

Spam I Am:
Check out this great idea of mine!
For Web Hosting and Design!

I went to your site; it really sucks!
For this you're charging lots of bucks?
You could at least learn to spell.
Why don't you just go to hell.
I do not want your worthless spam.
I do not want it Spam I Am.

Don't pretend your ads are new.
You insult us when you do.
I won't buy your worthless stocks.
Our heads are not full of rocks
Stop it Spam. Enough's enough.
I do not want your trashy stuff!
I do not want your damn spam!
I do not want it Spam I Am!
 
Old 20 Feb 2003, 07:55 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Old 25 Feb 2003, 06:01 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default

bump
 
 


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