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How to Succeed at WWE Tough Enough
by me, Budnick. 10. Fake a major injury, fight through said injury. This is the only reason Jackie Gayda won TE2, her "ability" to fight through an injury. You can do this too, without the actual injury. After a bump sometime in week 7, stay down and say "Ow, I popped something!". Immediately stand up and say "No, It’s fine..." yet still fake massive amounts of pain. They will think you’re battling through immense pain of a possible broken back, but are still keeping up with the rest of the class. This will guarantee you victory. 9. Let the third "tough guy" trainer fart on your face, then shake his hand and say "Thank you, sir". Everyone knows it’s not about your ability, it’s how you deal with backstage bullshit. Matt got the shit beat out of him because he’s getting handed a contract and the upcoming highlight for Bob Holly is jobbing to Nathan Jones on his debut. A referee quit because he was bullied by Bradshaw and the WWE won’t have that anymore. If you get hazed by Tough Enough trainers, thank them for the broomstick up the ass and move on, victory is in sight. 8. Cry on camera. Vince loves being able to make people cry, if you show you can’t cry in the saddest situations such as the resident retard getting cut, you won’t win. 7. Tell the trainers that Tough Enough 2 was the best show with the best winners. The trainers are in denial about the horrible outcome and worthless winners of Tough Enough 2 that they chose just to be politically correct. Telling them their decisions were good will lift their sprits and get you on their good side, be sure to do it. If you’re black, tell Big that you appreciate a black girl winning. You may not be racist, but now’s a good time to start. Hey, you all remember Jacqueline and Chadrick. 6. Don’t take cheap shots. Scott took a Singapore cane shot from Dreamer and didn’t win. Hawk took the worse chop from Bob Holly and didn’t win. Don’t do this kind of crap and you’ll at least go onto the final show. 5. Express hate for former WWE employees. Chances are, if someone has quit the WWE or sold out to WCW back in the day, the long timers like Al Snow hates them right along with the rest of the WWE brass. Play to this... have a conversation with the rest of the kids about past WWE superstars on camera and bitch about them. This brings me to success tip number 4... 4. Always remember that Bret screwed Bret. 3. "Head" was a stupid gimmick that was made successful by a good actor. Al Snow hated the Head gimmick and was rumored to never fully understand the pun of "what does everybody want? HEAD!". By saying you feel the gimmick was stupid, yet made profitable by a great actor, you’ll surely be on Al’s good side. 2. There’s only one Internet site in the world, WWE.com. If there is a computer in the house, it has a history section that is no doubt checked by the trainers. Finding wrestling news sites other than WWE.com on there will blackball you beyond belief. Only acknowledge WWE.com as a news site, when asked who’s your e-mail provider or what’s going on with the world, say "What e-mail? Does WWE.com offer it? Rest of the world? Does the WWE have new world news section on here?". And the number one way to succeed at WWE Tough Enough... 1. DON’T! Everyone knows Chris Nowinski is the best out of the 39 people who have advanced to the show, and he didn’t even win this bullshit "contest". You’re proven to have greater success either as a top mid-card heel on RAW, a backstage announcer for SmackDown or one of OVW’s top young prospects learning his craft. At least the rest of the business won’t despise you if you take this route.
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NEFWwrestling.com
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Stimulating.
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<p> <center>~"I walk a different road. A road of horror, a narrow road with no turns that only the bravest of men would dare travel. Pain, pain is a bridge on that road carrying the traveler over dark waters of deceit and scorn. Debt, a debt incurred in this road is a lifelong bond; a hunger to be satiated is a debt of blood and it requires sacrifice. Your sacrifice!"~</center> <p> <center><center>Quote The Raven Nevermore!</center> |
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